Child Pornography (AKA CP or ChiP) is what pedophiles masturbate to on the internet: also known as one of the biggest lulz ever. It is estimated that 63% of all information traded on the Gnutella network is hardcore child pornography. The closest thing to softcore CP that is legal is the material at jailbaitgallery.com .
Child Pornography and posting it is as close as one can get to trolling on Ebaumsworld. However, it should be noted, having child pornography for any reason, even for a perfectly reasonable reason like trolling, can earn you an IRL banhammer for life in most western countries (though not in Japan, probably because Japan is an eastern country): even though it is the primary life source of the cotton pickers of the world.
The FBI will trade you CP for butthurt to the third degree. Public humiliation and shunning are just the pre-trial fun. Even murderers and rapists look down on pedophiles, so on the plus side, your sentence might be shorter than you'd expected. Let's be honest—the only reason you would really have it anyway would be to relive the past memories of that hunting trip when you were five. And if you are a high ranking person working at the Pentagon and have a top secret security clearance, chances are that you won't have to worry about prison!
—Section 1466A of Title 18, United State Code Paraphrased
—Denise Richie from Stop Demand
Officials are also concerned by an increasing number of attempts to view child pornography on mobile devices, with 16,000 attempts registered. Smartphones, like iPhones and androids make up roughly half that number. iPod music players make up 30 percent, iPads 10 percent and Playstation 3's 10 percent. And a small number of blocks were even recorded against Nintendo Wii interactive gaming consoles.
Ms Ritchie says that shows the issue is being increasingly normalized. 57 members of the public have tried to access the material by appealing against the blocks. All were unsuccessful, but some of the reasons given include:
- "I need to look at kids getting ******"
- "At 70 years old I should be able to see this"
- "Just peeking so I can report it for blocking"
- "I fantasise about my aunt"
- "I don't have children"
MY MACHINE IS A PERVERT
Some guy was framed for CP possession by his computer, or so he claims—it is entirely possible that an experienced CP fapper will have developed muscles and reflexes sufficient to allow him to move to 43 sites in ten seconds and download all that pr0n, but in any event he got off after a dicey couple of years. This could happen to anyone who practices poor computer hygiene, and in fact will go down in history as the opening salvo of the Computer-Human Wars.
THEY'RE REQUESTING CP, WHAT DO?
If this happens, there are three possibilities for what's happening: that it is a slow day at the FBI HQ and they are looking to make a few pickups; that it is a troll; or that Snacks is back and that he wants MOAR CP to fap with (and in light of recent events this is highly probable).
Sage is only good for covering up hippy stink. The appropriate response to a CP request is to either post one of the following classic CPs, or come up with some of your own. Go ahead: feed the trolls till they puke.
I'M POSTING CP
If you wish to supply your fellow Anons with actual CP then it is advisable to enclose it in a passworded RAR file, post it, then kill yourself before you get the IRL banhammer. Fapping to CP on /b/ is considered a rite of passage. Do it and you truly are one of the damned and will forever be a /b/rother. Unless you're a furry. (If it's an April video then you're fine.)
- A Walking Aphrodisiac
- Chris Beer - Infamous 4chan spammer
- Codey Porter
- Doopie DoOver Draws and posts CP on tumblr.
- Fukken Saved
- Hiding Files
- Jared Fogle
- João Bernardo
- Miller Test
- Pedophilia apologia
- Stephen Sample
- Takedickman Tried to convince the Men In Black that his searches for CP on the deep web was only being done for academic purposes to educate. V&
- Wikipedia:CP violation
- NYSE:CP Publicly traded - invest today!
- June 27, 2008 "Jailed For UK's Worst Child Porn" - Britfag indefinitely imprisoned for being a pedo and possessing baby fuck CP (fourm discussion)
- February 25, 2009: Wired loves CP and Pimping
- November 4, 2011: New York Times: Life sentence for CP
- November 13, 2011: 3News: searching for CP is normal now by Brook Sabin
- April 18, 2012: Guardian: The counterproductive catch-all
- August 7, 2014: Britfag wincest campaigner jailed for owning cartoon CP of the Simpsons ... apparently, Bart, Lisa and Milhouse are below the age of consent, despite having been on TV like, forever.
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