Cadmus

From Encyclopedia Dramatica
Jump to: navigation, search
The not-so-sharp Troll and ass pie Cadmus, in his sacred Horned God headdress. Please note the attempt to grow a goatee, to cover up the multiple fatroll chins, and the asexual look of his lard-ridden face and body. Though safe at the sacred Yule celebration captured in this picture, any short walk around his neighborhood would likely get him the Fag-bashing for which he is long overdue.
You WILL be shot, motherfucker, if you go near Cadmus- his penis is the size of this gun. He will GIT you sucka. Fuck you. You think you're badass? You ain't shit, fucker. Buddha loves you, and Cadmus will jizz in your FACE fucker!
The brood that Cadmus has created- his token wife, the daughter that will hate his fat ass one day, and his oldest son Nathaniel, pictured behind his wife and child, who will one day kill Cadmus by sodomizing him with a statue of Buddha.
There's alien pussy in that big rock-cock which is being enjoyed by Cadmus in this rare shot of his Lithic-Pornographic proclivities.

Cadmus (also known as "The Many-Chinned Buddha Belly") is the latest fucktard to be shit out of the bowels of the drama-creating live journal system: an overweight pagan flake from Seattle who makes a few stupid posts about Buddha in his MySpace and hangs out at the MS Buddhist community, and thinks that this makes him buddhist.

Internet Tough Guy[edit]

The "Seattle Anti-Flake Community Action Initiative" has long had Cadmus on their watch list, citing his absurdly loud participation in some of Seattle's gayest fringe culture events. After being banned from most pagan gatherings for being an internet tough guy, he turned all his attention to the internet- the better to get his mind off the wife he married (for cover) and the screaming child that was accidentally produced before the marriage died lesbian bed death.

Brother Jordan, Buddha, and Bill[edit]

cadmus began his Ass pie career on the internet after "Brother Jordan" baptized him into the gnostic religion. He began as a Gnostic missionary, spreading the word of rape and the true Christ. His career as a Gnostic only lasted 43 minutes, however, because he had discovered buddhism less than an hour later, and converted.

Before his powerful conversion to Gnosticism and then to Buddhism, Cadmus was Wiccan. Before he was Wiccan, he was dipped in this stuff and slowly slid up the asshole of this man, working as a project supervisor. According to his profoundly mentally handicapped LJ, he still works for Bill.

Big Guns[edit]

Cadmus had to post a picture of his 9mm on his live journal. Yes, as stupid as this may sound, this fucktard gay freak had to show the world (actually, the flakes on his friends list) his BEEG Gun, further reinforcing his questionable sexuality. This has to be seen to be believed- look to the right and GET SCARED MOTHERFUCKER! The Buddha Cadmus is a gun-toting, red-blooded american father, and he WILL SHOOT your gay ASS. Like Buddha would have wanted.

Paeleolithic Sexuality[edit]

Cadmus finally snapped and decided to give up men completely, and his cover-story "wife". He discovered the work of L. Ron Hubbard and discovered that alien beings had hidden mad alien pussy in rocks all over the planet- pussy without centipedes in it, and with technologically-advanced clitoral protrusions that would self-inflate to fill his ass while he was fucking them with his strap-on (his wife long ago cut off his penis and discarded it in a field next to a convenience store).

Taking Hubbard's advice, Cadmus began fucking rocks all over the world. He was recently arrested for trying to climb the Statue of Liberty and hump the torch. Upon his release from jail, he was kicked out of his buddhist monastery for fucking the top of a statue of Kuan Yin.

See Also[edit]

Portal lj.png

Cadmus is part of a series on

LiveJournal

Visit the LiveJournal Portal for complete coverage.