Canon

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A typical Canon, weapon of choice for emos everywhere.

Whatever form it's told in (book, TV show, movie), a story will sometimes attract a body of pathological fans who want to make it the center of their own identities and social lives. Given the fans have:

  1. reached a critical mass such that they are able to find each other
  2. enough time on their hands and
  3. an inadequate grasp of how stupid their obsessions sound,

they will spawn endless tl;dr words. The new Internet-created environment for Condition 1 has broadened the scope of stories that fit this pattern. If the story leads to subsequent spin-off stories (e.g. the story being told in a different (if perverted) form, and so on), the fans can enjoy endless debates about how the authentic original story was truly and properly told IMH fuckin' O and what should be allowed in those terms.

Fanatical fans of this kind often have intellectual pretensions; ergo, they adopted the ecclesiastical term canon to refer to "the exact way the only truly authentic and original version was really told". All facts in the canonical version are enforced as the absolute truth from which loyalty must nevar waver. There are times, however, when only a retard would say that canonical is better than non-canonical. For example, compare Robotnik (only a complete faggot would call him "Eggman" HAHAHA DISREGARD THAT, I SUCK COCKS) to his Adventures of Sonic the Hedgehog counterpart. Whereas canon Robotnik has been getting owned by DBZ villian knock-offs lately, non-canon Robotnik was always awesome.

Roots[edit]

The original Christian Bible consisted of an account of the life of Raptor Jesus, the Letters of Afroduck, and one or two others, totaling twelve or thirteen books. At some stage between this and the inclusion of a bunch of bad memes like the Apocalypse of Some Guy and the Old Testament, the whole thing came to be called a "canon". Moar recently, other sects have included their own wild fanfic in "canonical" collections, notable examples including the Left Behind texts (for the Church of the New Moral Superiority), the Book of Mormon Magic (for the Mormons), and the Story of Jacub the Brilliant but Fucked-up Ancient African Scientist Who Created the Devil White Man (for the Nation of Islam). Being canonical is serious business, so members of sects with competing canons often settle their differences by starting a flame war. When this happens on the Internets, it nearly always instigates internet drama. [[1]]

Fanon[edit]

People in fandom also have flame wars concerning the terms "canonical" and "non-canonical". They always base their arguments on which fanfic holds their loyalty. This is because the people involved are always fucking retards.

No, I said...oh never mind.

Alternate Sources of Canonical Info[edit]

Aside from the original work (even if it's a spin-off on a bubblegum wrapper), some fans will consider certain interviews with the Creator to be legitimately canonical. The fantards most guilty of this crime are the rabid, disillusioned shippers.

Take, for example, Harry/Hermione. Seriously, did you even read the fucking books? It's clear from the start that she was going to end up fucking Ron.

Examples of what is Canonical[edit]

  • Ubuntu
  • Any event in an episode of The Simpsons or part of a Simpsons movie is part of the Simpsons canon (despite lack of internal consistency); events in Simpsons comics are completely non-canonical, though.
  • In Lord of the Rings, Frodo and Sam being gay for each other is canon to the movie fans, but their Vegas marriage is only canon to the slashfic crew. Flame wars between the few who'd actually read the books and movie fans were also particularly hawt.

Examples of what is not Canonical[edit]

Fanon External links[edit]

Lord of the Rings fanon

See Also[edit]

:3

Canon is part of a series on:
Comic Books

[ZAP POW BIFF!EXCELSIOR!]

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