Carl Sagan

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As if you needed anymore proof God isn't real: this man had to die, and yet Mike the Situation is alive and well. How the fuck is that fair?

Carl Sagan, easily one of the greatest men who ever lived, was the inventor of the totally made-up number "billions and billions", and is famous for making really basic scientific concepts easier for stoners to understand. Despite being totally damn awesome, Sagan's legacy has been tainted because of his association with atheism, and because many Conservative fucktards remember him as being Reagan's mortal nemesis, apparently thinking Sagan's theory of "nuclear winter" is the same thing as "global warming".

In addition to his litany of ceaselessly badass accomplishments, Sagan is best remembered for maybe being the only person who made labeled a geek a badge of honour, in addition to making science not suck, and for proving that you don't need to actually contribute anything to science if you want to be renowned as a genius by pot-smokers everywhere.


Furthermore, if you mention him on reddit, you get instant 1,000,000 e-points, which is especially faggotty because, get this, REDDIT ACTUALLY HAS INTERNET POINTS, CALLED KARMA. That's right, Liberal Homosexual Transgendered Atheist Jew-hating Muslims get an erection from him, despite his Jewishness. No, really.

Johnny Carson, Billions and Billions

The Sadness of his Death[edit]

Not only did the world lose a great man, great scientist when Carl Sagan passed away but the real reason to mourn was that a great curse was unleashed when Carl Sagan passed. Neil deGrasse Tyson, in the search for more jew gold and ratings, was picked for no reason other than affirmative action by Seth McFarland and Sagan's widow as the heir to Sagan's dumbing down of science so that is accessible to all. The problem with Tyson is that he is just another nigger that feels the need to try and prove to himself and the media that a black man can be intellectually equal to the white man. Tyson has litterally stuck his foot in his mouth over and over with his over inflated sense of self worth making insepid comments like a helicopter will fall out of the sky if it runs out of gas, forgetting that they helicopter blades will slow the descent and allow it to be steered very accurately (autogyration). If you want to see how far his stupidity goes just do a google search of Neil deGrasse Tyson's stupid twitter comments because there are people who record them.


Contact[edit]

Let's not even discuss this bad piece of Science Fiction or horrible Jodie Foster movie because all it shows is that no matter how smart you are or how smart people think you are, you can still write a book with a weak premise and full of plot holes that relies heavily on Deus Ex Machina.


Gallery[edit]

HAIL SAGAN ERRDAY! About missing Pics
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See also[edit]

  • Aliens - imaginary creatures, which Sagan built an entire career out of talking about
  • Eclipse - all you need to know about staring directly at a dragon eating the sun
  • FakeSagan - hanger-on who thinks it's cool to use a great man's name to justify being a shithead on the Internet
  • Feynman, Richard - who you ought to read instead of Sagan, if you want to be taken seriously
  • Nye, Bill - is to Sagan as Sagan is to Feynman
  • Sagan Cash - because at this point, he's earned it
  • Space - a big empty thing of no use to anyone
  • Square, Greydon - another hanger-on, except this one's a nigger, and thus so much fucking worse
  • Weed - the reason Sagan wasted a promising career
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