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CassiusPlejarenAlien

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File:ElliottBrown.jpg
ElliottBrown. Sadly, that's not a wig.

CassiusPlejarenAlien (or Elliott Brown, JesusPlejaren, CassiusAlien, Failien, ShutthefuckupyouWiggylittleweed, as well as a multitude of YouTube and BlogTV sockpuppets.) is a tiny buzzing mosquito who is hated not just on the planet but throughout the Known Universe. His Plejaren Ministry, consisting of pretty much him and his other personality, have been harassing YouTube users since he started his batshit insane crusade against atheism, islam and anyone else who doesn't agree with his fucked up beliefs or doesn't stroke his e-peen.
That, and he wants to show his huge collection of cheap, shitty looking wigs. All of which make him look like a homeless Jon Bon Jovi after 3 weeks with no sleep.




Background

Elliot has been one of YouTubes more interesting trolls since he first manifested as the user emosareboring2 on January 14, 2007. The channel had only one video, where Elliott tells a story about a fictional wind up character on a prank call show called Butch Driveshaft. He then proceded to burn what he says is Driveshaft's scroll. Why a fictional character would have a scroll, who the fuck but Elliott knows?

After failing to get any attention from cryptic horseshit, Elliot stopped using that account altogether. Perhaps he was simply testing the waters of his future trolling career. Maybe he realized that his approach was shit. Regardless, he would eventually find a theme for his asshattery, and it took the form of a dorky UFOlogy myth shat out by one Eduard "Billy" Meier.

He's also quite fond of calling up local businesses in his hometown of Stoke on Trent, Staffordshire, in the UK and demanding that they repent and praise Space Jebus or be beamed aboard his imaginary UFO to be punished. One of his favorite targets has been a local tandoori restaurant, and the irritated staff warn him they will fuck his mother if he ever calls again.

His favorite technique for getting his stroke on is to made wildeyed phophetic predictions about an imminent Plejaren Apocalypse. "Doooom! Dooooooooom1" He screams from rooftops like an even gayer version of Howard Camping. When the immanent Plejaren Apocalypse fails to materialize on schedule, he flounces off of YouTube, closing his account and running back to his Hugbox to a chorus of monkey-squeal laughter.

In between Apocalypses, this ragmop-headed closet case flirts with male YouTubers and BlogTVers. When confronted about his epic faggotry, he denies it and flies into a failtarded, impotent rage.

Rise of the Plejaren

Little is known of what Elliot was up to after he abandoned his emosareboring2 channel, but he resurfaced later on the name CassiusAlien account. On it he claimed he was a Plejaren from the Pleiades come to Earth to save mankind from Fun, Drugs, Sex and anything Cool. Normally, such insanity would be fuel for Parody and Lulz.
Unfortunately, Elliott had a bad habit of spamming his alien message nonsense via PM to various YouTube atheists. This schtick got real old, real quick.

Some of his targets included ediblenapalm, coughlan666, theamazingatheist, and several others, including a then 12 year old girl. Needless to say, none of them found this limey cunts tired "Repent or Be Probulated!" Spam all that convincing or amusing.

Some responded with pwnage videos, others simply blocked him, and the rest just ignored him; but being ignored only angered him and fuelled his resolve. He even claimed to have had ediblenapalm and coughlan666 locked up in his space ship, and had them flogged until they denounced their ways. This fell apart quite quickly when the users in question were still making videos at the time of their supposes incarceration, sometimes they were even unaware that they were supposed to be locked in the Alien Sex Dungeon at that very moment. Elliott even stooped to PMing users that were friends with coughlan666 telling them to pass the message on to him. Funny, wasn't coughlan666 supposed to be trapped aboard his spacecraft? One would think that he could just tap his communicator or activate his ansible and telepathically tell Coughlan directly.
Insert telekinetic facepalm here.

One of Elliot's favorite people to pester was EdensCancer. Elliot expressed his manlove for Eden often and repeatedly. As was often that case with his male targets. EdensCancer was not one to give in to the demands of the 80's hair-metal alien reject. This hurt the Failien in his little green-blooded heart; so he ran back to mommy to cry about how all the big kids tease him. However in November of 2009, a Russian solider who went by the handle "Sergai" took over EdensCancer's youtube briefly to transmit a message to Elliot. "Sergai" was and for all we know is to this day in charge of an elite team. "The Anti-Plejaren League"
Below is the transmission that was sent to our favorite alien during his 80's hair band days.

"Cow go up, UFO come down"


 
 
"Greetings, Starfighter. You have been recruited by the Anti-Plejaren League to defend the Frontier against Queeyr and the Gay-man armada."
 

 

From the comments below it is very clear that Elliot received the message from "Sergai". What isn't clear is if Elliot heeded the warning. Sinse UFO wreckage with cow bits has yet to be found, it can be assumed he has. One must wonder if "Sergai" will make an appearance at some future date, just to remind Elliot that the laser beams and cows with beam recognition technology stand at the ready.

"Paul Kent" and other faggotry

The name Paul Kent was associated with much faggotry on YouTube, mainly through the filing of over a dozen DMCAs by the little fucker. How does this link to Elliott? Well, for starters, Paul Kent is the name of his step-dad, and he had admitted to coughlan666 that he "knew a secret about Paul Kent". The paulkentproductions account, from which the DMCAs were filed was created the same day the DMCAs went out, and the account hasn't been logged into since. Sounds like a sock account, doesn't it?

After this video came out, the war began, and Elliott didn't stand a chance. Coughlan's fans quickly rallied against the Failien, making pwnage videos, gathering evidence of his faggotry, spamming his channels, and trolling his BlogTV shows.

BlogTV Disasters

Not being able to maintain control of his BlogTV room has been a staple of the lulz where Elliott is concerned. Once the wrong person gets operator privileges, the rest of the room gets them too and chaos ensues. This usually results in Elliott crying, throwing a hissy fit, then kicking everyone from the room, leaving him alone and unloved just as he deserves. The little retard can't even find anyone he trusts enough to moderate his BlogTV room, but after making statements like "Anyone embracing human culture will be put in front of a firing squad!" it's no wonder everyone wants to fuck with him.

His complete and utter disconnect from reality makes it impossible for him to maintain any continuity to his bullshit, unfortunately for him, his enemies are usually on the ball and have HyperCam or some other recording software ready to capture all the lulz.

Debating against live opponents leaves him completely fucked as far as credibility is concerned, and having to manage anything other than clicking a fucking mouse causes his brain to burst into an electrical fire. Watch him get pwned by TheOmniNerd, a YouTube user who trolled him pretty much from the begining.

Another source of ancient lulz is his hatred for MrSoprano0125, even going so far as to attempt to infiltrate his BlogTV sessions as entities like Greggsbakery among others. However, he fails so much at keeping his hatred from coming to the surface, he blows every chance he gets, leading to be identified immediately and kicked. So frequent was this once upon a time, that Soprano and his allies made a game of being the first to kick him each time he entered the room with a sockpuppet account.

Window Alien is Watching You Masturbate

One of the favorite catch phrases used by Elliott's haters is "Window Alien is watching you masturbate." An obvious rip on Ceiling Cat, which was first uttered when he posted some bullshit video about an alien appearing in some fag's window. The phrase spread like wildfire as soon as the local trolls figured out that it drove him apeshit. He brings down the banhammer on anyone who utters the phrase, but the trolls always come back to spam the shit out of his videos with the Window Alien. There was also a short lived YouTube account dedicated to the perverted alien, and Elliott even has a poster of an alien on his wall, which shows up in every BlogTV show he does, that has been dubbed Window Alien.

Der Untergang 2:- Fall of the Plejaren Reich

Elliot Brown has been exposed on youtube as being a fake and admitting that he is full of shit. There are many mirrors of the confession video all over Youtube. It was first posted by ThomasJetson4923 (aka MrSoprano0125) after Elliot Brown refused to listen to reason and apologise for his actions towards Nauroticdax, RHPSmagenta, godlessheathen etc.

Also Elliot who doesn't have an knack for disguising himself as guest made several guest appearance using bogus guest such as a woman called Sandra who brags about having a Mastercard and Trevor who vbrags about being a man. He also made a guest appearance telling everyone about applying for a job as an air steward and claiming that "Something is going to happen to the plane when it goes up the air". this is when concerned was raised and the chat was reported to BlogTV moderators for conspiracy to plotting terrorism and the authorities was alerted.

Elliot has now disappeared from Youtube altogether. Never to be seen again....... Unitl now! http://www.youtube.com/user/warbandking

Mount & Blade Warband

File:Talkinghead.gif
"I SUCK COCK!"

Since Mount & Blade Warband came out, he has been harassing players their... he comes on servers and starts team killing everyone, when he gets banned from every server, he buys Mount & Blade again and restarts his spree. He comes on the game forums repeatability and says he will continue. Seeing as getting himself banned repeatedly is the only way he can get his rocks off, feel free to drop into the game shop at 14 High St, Canterbury, Kent CT1 2JE, UK to shake his hand or put his head through a plate glass window the next time he shows up to buy another copy of the game.

Return of the Faggot

He returned, according to his latest channel, on November 3rd. Among his latest escapades are a switch from being an alien-wannabe Jew to an alien-wannabe Christfag, "kicking Coughlan616 while he was down" (the asshat deserved it anyway but all Elliot did was say something about how he kidnapped him and put him in the "dal universe" and is not going to return him, and endorsing Benny Hinn, along with his usual shit. Trolls that follow the developments are anxiously awaiting his next BlogTV attempt, if he's even fucking still let on that site.


Update

File:Elliots Alien supository.jpg
Elliot examines his new spaceship shaped anal probe prior to rectal re-entry

As a result of him getting suspended and locked out of his Youtube channel, if you have a sock account that he has not blocked yet you can troll the hell out of him and there is nothing he can do about it.

He has of course opened a new channel so that he can argue with you when you post comments on his shitty videos and call him a bellend but that simply lights the way home and he has already been raided by the anti alien arsehole squad who managed to post over 9000 comments on his channel expressing their best wishes

Naturally to avoid detection he has radically changed his appearance, either that or the dead cat on his head has finally been laid to rest.

The failiean has returned not only to youtube but also to BlogTV where he can be seen being trolled by the window alien who is watching him masturbate under the table while he sports his new hair do now looking a lot like Ed Straker from the 1960s sci-fi drama UFO

IRL Self Ownage

Elliot likes to ring people up and IRL troll them for shits and giggles and he will often make videos of the calls and post them to JewTube. His past exploits have included prank calling the british transport police and crime stoppers but recently he has taken to calling up the gay helpline and the Queer Bar in Manchester and ranting about how they are sending sould to hell.

Unfortunately Elliot has not realised that when he is prank calling people he should really withold his phone number so that they can not pass it onto the police when they report him for making malicious phone calls.

oops, video temporarily missing, when a mirror is found, it will be put here


Elliot calls the Gay helpline and a gay bar

oops, video temporarily missing, when a mirror is found, it will be put here


Elliot rings the same gay bar again and gets told he has been reported to the police

This is of course not the first time he has made this mistake. During one of his BlogTV shows where he was ringing people up to harass them, one of the people he called reported him to Vodafone who called him back while he was in the middle of the boardcast and asked him to confirm that his telephone number was +44(0)7826 747359 which the trolls in the room instantly noted down and spent the next week ringing before he had the number disconnected.

He was then dumb enough to drop his own docs again several months later when he returned again when he published the cell phone number +44(0)7787 067035 in a video urging people to ring him to join his ministry. After it was confirmed that this number was real, this number was posted over 9000 times as the number to call for elicit gay sex on websites such as craigslist within the hour.

Elliot was very unamused by that.

Of course if IRL trolling without withholding your number isn't dumb enough, fagbucket takes his quest to be v@ to a whole new level by prank calling his local minicab company. Of course, because you are only insured in a minicab if you call them to book the minicab first, they record all of the calls they receive, something that was pointed out by the manager of the taxi company. The dumbfuck still continued calling them anyway, even after the manager of the minicab company threatened to call the cops. They have since sent one of their muslim drivers around to his house to personally deliver him a ban hammer after he insisted that they only use Christian drivers and that they close their company down and devote their life to serving God.

Maybe his rent boy business is suffering in this recession, he knows that the only way he is going to get his crack drilled is if he gets his arse thrown in jail and he makes a habit of dropping the soap. Yep, Cassius really can't wait to get anally jack-hammered by a no-necked, shovel-handed ox-molester who is serving 15-20 for using a whole sheep as a condom for the purpose of fucking a cow.

oops, video temporarily missing, when a mirror is found, it will be put here


Elliot rings the local minicab company to ask for the ban hammer to be removed and just makes things worse
Yes you pillock all calls are recorded for insurance purposes...and when bell-ends call to harass them

Cassius claimed that he is visiting the US in November. He's probably checking out targets for his forthcoming 2012 alien invasion. Alternatively, he could have simply gone there because he would like the TSA to give him a free "enhanced pat down" and a rectal cavity search. Which is why numerous people have already faxed and emailed his picture to:

[email protected]

Its at times like these that rather than ask what your country can do for you, you should consider what you can do for your country.

Baiting the Tin Foil Hat Brigade

On November the 13th He posted a video on his latest channel to inform everyone that Colleen Thomas had died and promptly went around all the tin foil hat forums and posted as many threads as possible with the news. Of course the mods on those forums then spent several days removing as many of his threads as possible and applied the ban hammer to the various accounts he had created.

It then became apparent that his latest appearence on youtube was so that he could troll these forums - or is that just a conspiracy? In any case he has now either annoyed a lot of very paranoid people or has uncovered a secret illuminati plot to silence whistle blowers in which case, either way, he is fucked. Either the tin foil hatters, who are able to uncover conspiracies that the most powerful secret organisations on the planet want to keep secret are going to be tracking him down or the black helecopters will be soon hovering over his house in Stockton-on-Tees just outside Middlesborough in the UK and Elliot will be starting his new career as an intergral component of a motorway bridge support in the very near future.


Open Season on FAIL

Just when you didn't think he could fail any harder than he has done so many times in the past, as a result of him baiting the tin foil hat brigade and posting videos where he prank calls gay bars, Cassius has got himself suspended and locked out of his channel so for TWO WHOLE WEEKS he can not access his channel, not even to close it so from around about the 20th of November 2010 if you are not already blocked from his youtube channel then for the next two weeks you have a license to troll because its open season.

He can not remove your comments from any of his videos, remove video responses or block you in any way so HAPPY HUNTING!

oops, video temporarily missing, when a mirror is found, it will be put here


Now thats what I call Thanksgiving

Then to top it all there is this...

Of course all along we all knew that his whole act is bullshit and that Elliot is just playing it for the LULZ and must really love getting his arse handed to him every time he gets in front of a camera although a little piece inside every one of us has that nagging doubt that he is nothing more than a basement dwelling retard who sits at home all day watching daytime TV, uterley unloved by his parents and the only attention he gets is the pure hatred of the people he trolls.


Elliot admits its all bullshit

He's run away yet again as of 11/28/10. It seems that, after a visible display of pedophilia from his Friday night's BlogTV, he suddenly became fearful and, less surprisingly, butthurt, over people actually logging this. He closed his two recent accounts and his BlogTV, and started a third channel, full of even more scared fail, called, unimaginatively, CassiusProphet2012, with five videos. One of which was his rage at the Taxi Company located where he lives blacklisting his name, The rest of them were denials of pedophilia/CP and the usual shit about how his faithful followers will anticipate his return and will be saved while everyone else will be killed in, you guessed it, 2012. The logging, however, should come as no surprise to him, as the practice of logging every fucking thing he said in his videos and BlogTV sessions started over a year ago, as those that monitor him wait for him to slip up.

And does he ever...


The LULZ just keep coming

In a desperate act of total fucking stupidity brought on by the sphincter quivers he was experiencing after recieving over 9000 comments on his channel and videos calling him a pedo, Elliot sent out a personal message to everyone who had posted videos about his latest exploits asking them if they would consider being his friend and take down all those nice videos that might get him into trouble

In doing this he unwittingly gave us what will one day surely be known accross the world as the Brown Defence which has got to be the only legal defence in the history of mankind that actually makes someone look MORE guilty of what they are accused of...


RHPSMagenta tells him to spin on her middle digit

Yes you heard that correctly. His defence against accusations that he groomed young girls on the internet in the hope that he would get an eye full of nubile flesh is that he is gay because nobody has ever heard of a gay pedophile before

Of course when you fuck up like that and youtube suspends your channel because your videos have more flags than the united nations there is only one thing to do and of course being a supremely intelligent alien and not a basement dwelling retard with a bad haircut Elliot does completely the opposite and opened another channel where he is now being monitored remorselessly in a completely non-obsesive manner by his new little friend aker334, a member of an elite troll hunting group who so far Elliot has been completely unable to block

Meta-Trolling the Trolls

A Fake Elliott Brown causes Moralfags to PWN themselves


 
 
"We baited the trap with a new video claiming that Reptilians got the old channel shut down. Then we sent out some PM's and waited."
 

 

Elliot wants you to die of AIDS

Recent RHPSmagenta posted a video to Elliot whom she seems to have a very unhealthy obsession with inviting him to take part in Devchelle2's charity event on blogtv in March to raise money for HIV/AIDS research. It seems RHPSmagenta naively thought Elliot could give a shit about anyone outside his little alien fantasy world between fapping to Gay_porn while trying to make the entire world believe he does not secrecy love Cock.

In a rather tiresome and predictable fashion elliot responded to the request with his usual tired "I HATE YOU ALL" replies. Rambling for about 40 seconds. Spouting how he will derive joy from the human race dying in fire in 2012. One has to wonder if he really does enjoy the suffering of others. Perhaps even fapping to Snuff pron.

Of course Elliot's reply invoked a response from RHPSmagenta right on cue. As if we needed to tell you that. You know maybe RHPSmagenta should look into getting a hobby or a life. Or maybe she would benefit from turning off her computer from time to time and going outside and getting some sun. Trouble is that sense she is a Ginger she most likely would burst into flames.

...and then it turns sinister

As if it wasn't freakish enough it then started to turn sinister. Rumours of Elliot doing untoward things with young girls just wont go away and Elliot seems to keep feeling the need to deny it. We think the Lady doth protest too much.

Seriously, the whole ministry thing is like some kind of cult where the deranged leader gets to have sex with all the women, children and some of the men in return for a place in heaven and a ride in a flying saucer. just look at it! The only reason he keeps doing it -- considering that he gets his arse handed to him constantly -- must be for the poontang, there can be no other explanation. Nobody could be that desperate for attention

Its like a one man Catholic Church with Elliot being both the choirboy buggering priest, the choirboy himself and the pope that covers it all up.

Are kids these days so fucking stupid that they will believe a complete ranting moron when he tells them that he is an alien and that the world is going to end in December 2012 and the only way that they can get saved it to send him pictures of their preteen tits. Surely the only reason this sick fuck isn't in jail, taking it up the arse on a daily basis from Big Dave the cow rapist, must be because his victims haven't reported him yet. Most of them are emos anyways so who cares?

Its not just none believers who are gonna get raped
If you hear a noise in the night it might just be Elliot landing his spaceship on your roof.
Just hum "If I Was a Rich Man", it will really piss him off because he hates being called the kiddyfiddler on the roof.

...Started The Clone War Has

After a prolonged, forced absence from Youtube after he got caught sending porn to kiddies, the Failien made yet another return, this time as Biggles the Plejaren. A fitting name, really, as Biggles the WW1 flying ace was also a racist from a time long forgotten, however at least Biggles was good at something, other than wanking into his unwashed socks.

First order of business was to announce to the proles that the Plejarens had formed an alliance with the Raelians who are another bunch of deluded fucktards who worship aliens. The difference being, the Raelians take it a little more seriously, have shitpiles of money and spend most of their time working out how to clone people; rather than shopping at ASDA, claiming the dole and playing Mount and Blade on his shitty old Pentium II PC like a frightwig wearing Nooblet.

What do you think the official Raelian Movement's response to this momentous announcement might have been?

Yep, they served the fucker with a DMCA take-down notice and told him to go fuck himself.

I guess even the batshit insane don't want him as one of their own.

I suppose the copyright claim is fair since the FAILien has been ripping off the REALien "lets all worship aliens in flying saucers" routine and getting young girls to get their tits out on camera for years.

So is its phasers set to dickzap or are huge alien battle fleets assembling above the Earth and squaring off against one another right now as you read this? Only time will tell but if we are about to witness an intergalactic battle. Lets hope that when they are handing out the uniforms Elliot gets a red shirt.

Started, the clone war has...


When aliens attack

What do you do when you are attacked by aliens?

Well you usually shit yourself and go hide in the cupboard under the stairs with the cat, unless of course you are being attacked by the failien. When that happens you report the fucker to the police and call your lawyer to see if you can get him extradited so that he can be given a taxpayer funded holiday in Gitmo.

Well thats never going to happen is it?

Well it appears that it already has.

Its now becoming apparent that the failien got a little too obsessed with someone on the internet and went and tracked down naked pictures of them and plastered them all over his forum on his website. Not content to leave it there he then created a false facebook page in that persons name and plastered them all over there too. Of course what is a facebook page without friends so he sent invites to all of the friends and family members listed on this persons real facebook page so that they would see them. was he finished there? Fuck No! He then spammed the fuck out of this persons young children with porn and naked pictures of their parent pretending to be their parent and sent more pictures to their school friends.

Yes, you read that correctly, he bombarded school kids with naked pictures of their parents and copied in their friends at school.

Still not finished he went on blog TV and started making accusations that this person was sexually abusing their kids and that they were a kiddie fiddler. Oh and did I mention that this person was a DUDE!

Yes, take a minute to let that settle in. He had an obsessive fixation with a dude and went looking for naked pictures of him.

Naturally this guy was none too pleased with this and lawyered up and reported the failien to the cops in the US and the UK. The failien's response was to delete fucking everything and make a thirteen and a half minute video pretending not to be the failien, apologising for everything and pleading with the guy not to get his arse thrown in jail so it could be stretched to breaking point by Big Dave the cow rapist.


Here take a listen


"Please don't get me arrested, they will put me on the sex offenders register"

Seriously, it's pure gold. Some of the best bits are when he admits he is seriously disturbed and needs psychiatric help, he is a sad lonely bastard with no friends, that he hasn't got two pennies to rub together and that he is a complete pussy.

Like we didn't already know that.


There is no word about what the outcome was and those that know are keeping very quiet about it but lets just say that nobody had heard from him for over six months until recently when he suddenly returned and flagged and DMCAd just about anything with his name on it. Is it possible that he got himself V&?


Maybe the window alien isn't the only one who watches him masturbate, Maybe Pete the prison guard has been watching him too



See Also

Links

It's like youtube channel whack-a-mole.

CassiusPlejarenAlien is part of a series on Dying Alone

[DeadCry yourself to sleep]

Poemo.jpg Those Who Have Died Alone

Aaron SwartzAdam LanzaAlexis ArquetteAmanda ToddAmy WinehouseAnal CuntAndy KaufmanAnna Nicole SmithBrian AdamsBrandon CrispCharmaine DragunChris BenoitChris Harper-MercerChynaCodey PorterDavid BowieDavid CarradineEazy-EEdaremElliot RodgerElvis PresleyGeorge SodiniGizgizHappyCabbieHarambeHeath LedgerJeff WeiseJewWarioJim MorrisonKitty0706Kurt CobainLemonade CoyoteLeelah AlcornLiloMegan MeierMichael JacksonMitchell HendersonMySpaceOtoya YamaguchiPekka-Eric AuvinenPrinceRandy StairRehtaeh ParsonsRicardo LopezRipperRobin WilliamsRudolph ZurickShawn WoolleyShaySteve StephensTony48219TooDamnFilthyTyler DumstorfVester Flanagan

Those Dying Alone

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