Cheddar-Cheesia

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This is what you see when you die.

Cheddar-Cheesia is a sad little buttfucking 16 year old creature that has crawled out of the horrid swamp called Toontown, and started spreading his shit ass nigger nasty infection to other sites. He goes to and from sites, showing off his monstrosity of shit artwork, and then has a sissy fit if no one treats him like a god for it. His hobbies include: drawing things while on the acid, reading Uncyclopedia while jerking it to Oscar Wilde jokes, and getting another Internet girlfriend every week. He also likes deep dish granny porn. Being actively gay and a real time fucker, he sucks his principal's dick as many as ten times a day. That's why his teeth are so white, mind you.

It should be noted that Cheddar-Cheesia is a stubborn asshole, a homophobe (in denial of being so), and an annoying fuckwad.

Also, if you ask him about his life outside of Toontown, he'll try to change the subject. He openly admits to never going outside and sitting alone at lunch time in his middle school. He quite obviously has no friends.

Dr4g0nK1d and Cheddar separated at birth? You Decide!


   
 
What do you think you're doing?!
 

 
 

—Cheddar Cheesia

Gallery of the Talented Cheddar[edit]

[Collapse GalleryExpand Gallery]

Famous Quotes[edit]

   
 
You're really immature!
 

 
 

—Cheddar Cheesia

   
 
What do you think you're doing?! Is this a prank call or something?!
 

 
 

—Cheddar Cheesia

   
 
Shutup, you stupid republican
 

 
 

—Cheddar Cheesia

   
 
I'LL BLOCK YOU!
 

 
 

—Cheddar Cheesia

   
 
This call is being RETARDED!!!
 

 
 

—Cheddar Cheesia

   
 
Blue Berries prevent puberty!
 

 
 

—Cheddar Cheesia

   
 
Please stop. It really offends me that you make fun of kids my age.
 

 
 

—Cheddar Cheesia

   
 
Anorexia's good.
 

 
 

—Cheddar Cheesia THIS QUOTE WAS RECORDED!

   
 
EEEEWWW! Sex is gross!
 

 
 

—Cheddar Cheesia

   
 
Hah, stupid athiests.
 

 
 

—Cheddar Cheesia

   
 
Actually, I'm getting castrated someday.
 

 
 

—Cheddar Cheesia

   
 
I never took an IQ test unless it's from a TV show. and I get 100 most of the time. That's a perfect score!
 

 
 

—Cheddar Cheesia, completely unaware that an I.Q. of 100 is below average.

   
 
I don't want people to like me, I want people to fuck off.
 

 
 

—Cheddar Cheesia

   
 
Do you still live the Civil War as if you were still in slavery?
 

 
 

—Cheddar Cheesia

   
 
You're from /b/, arent you?
 

 
 

—Cheddar Cheesia

   
 
*pulls out gun*
 

 
 

—Cheddar Cheesia

   
 
I'm about to have a nervous breakdown because of this!
 

 
 

—Cheddar Cheesia

   
 
Yeah, so what if I was sircumsized? [sic]
 

 
 

—Cheddar Cheesia

   
 
You just don't like Barack Obama because you're racist.
 

 
 

—Cheddar Cheesia

   
 
...Y'know... the reason people hate Toontown... is because it's Disney. If It was throwing fire and swords at monsters, it would be popular.
 

 
 

—Cheddar Cheesia

The Early Years[edit]

Born November 12, 1994; Scott STILL PLAYS Toontown, but uses it as a gay chatroom, instead of an MMORPG. He often went on "adventures", which were really gay roleplaying games. He thought it made him cool, when it was actually the opposite. He met Taco Wiz here, and they engaged in anal sex for the next four years.

Webtoon "Inspiration"[edit]

In September of 2006, he found his way to the Porple Montage Studios forums. The owner who hosted this site was also the host for the Bonus Stage Wiki. Cheddar became down right pissed at webmaster Steve Shinn for closing down the BSWiki for financial reasons. So Cheddar joined on the forums, and everyone tried not to piss themselves at his name (there were cases of bowel movements in some members). The worst part is that after he found out Porple Montage was a hosting site for cartoons and comics, he stuck to the forums like a leech, trying to show off his shit work and hoping people liked it.

And thus, inspired by Bonus Stage and Homestar Runner (just like any webtoon), he went on to create the Home School Schoolers.

The HomeSchool Schoolers[edit]

The HomeSchool Schoolers is a shit webcomic by Cheddar-Cheesia. In it, the four main characters, Footboy, Spirit Girl, Poindexter, and Dollface, fight off crime that happens at "School", even though they are "HomeSchooled". The characters represent the four properties that make up Cheddar:

Footboy, the pussy-ass jock of the cartoon, loves football so much that he wears his uniform all the time. If his teachers or mother complain about it, he breaks a glass of vodka over the counter and sets them bitches straight. He has the power to shoot footballs at enemies with his hands, but he really prefers shooting them out of his ass to make his enemies taste his warm ass-juice in their faces. He is the "bad boy" Cheddar has always wanted to be. Cheddar's father is ashamed of him and refuses to acknowledge him because Cheddar has a vagina and doesn't play sports. This is the ideal version of the person Cheddar's father wants him to be.

Spirit Girl is Footboy's anorexic sibling with breasts that sag like your mom's. She has no fucking talent whatsoever, besides being a stupid rich-ass bitch and insulting Dollface for being a man. Cheddar has tried to make her a carbon-copy of his favorite Disney character, Kim Possible, but has failed at it horribly. She aids the team by purging in enemies' faces. This character represents the woman Cheddar wants to be. His father, as mentioned above, wants him to be a man, but Cheddar really wants to be a woman on the inside, and join up at his schools cheerleading team. If Cheddar brings up anything slightly feminist, his father beats him with a belt and grounds him from playing Toontown for a week.

Poindexter is the third member of THS. He's really good at fixing broken sex toys, and even built his own sex bot named "Brad-bot". He also has mind powers, with which he shoots a gay colored rainbow out of his mind and turns enemies into homosexuals. He's more of a pussy than Footboy, because he can spontaneously get brain freezes for no reason. A completely useless member, he will probably become another an hero. This character represents Cheddar as he is now, confused about his sexuality and obsessed with collecting broken sex toys from his mother in an attempt to fix them.

Dollface is the cross-dresser of the group. She's a man, but I'll call her a 'she' for the sake that people won't get confused, and know whether or not they should be jerking off to this part right now. Dollface is an immature fuck who loves to play with inflatable dolls. She can summon them with her special power for all the crew member to enjoy. In battle, she'll throw her sex dolls at enemies and hope they will start fucking them so the team can get away. Footboy enjoys slapping her if she doesn't make his goddamn breakfast right. Dollface is the gender confused part of Cheddar. Cheddar modeled his favorite dress for Dollface.


Cheddar has hyped up this comic for so long without any pictures, the forum members wondered if he was good at drawing, despite the fact that he's biased and likes Disney too much. His first comic was about the two male characters, Footboy and Poindexter. In it, Footboy is portrayed as a sex-hungry pedophile, and had a "package" for Poindexter. Poindexter opened it, and Footboy's penis ejaculated in their faces. Poindexter then woke up in a cold sweat, wanting to really feel Footboy's soft body and hard-on. Footboy was lying next to him and told him, "Hey Poindexter, I got a package for you". Footboy had fucked him in his sleep.

When people didn't like his comic (and the fact that they couldn't even get the slightest penis twitch because of how badly it was drawn), he yelled at everyone for being stupid gay-bashers who didn't know talent when they saw it. Whatever, douche.

He then went on to change it into a sprite comic. I don't know what was worse: looking at deformed drawings, or Spirit girl's leg being broken out of its socket. What made the comic even more lulz-worthy was the fact that the characters would stare directly at you, and soon, they haunted you at night. Most of the comics consisted of Footboy, beginning with, "You know, we really need a (something here, preferably a dildo)" and the characters yelling at each other for doing something dumb. Every now and then, Cheddar would place his furry persona in there and make the other characters bow down to him and suck his (lack of a) dick.

Other characters include: Darkness, some weird emo bitch who wants to be accepted for who he is, and not have periods all the time, and PencilNeck, a total copyright infringement of the Cogs in Toontown.

The most hilarious part of the comic is the fact that they are supposed to save school from being boring, yet they haven't yet been placed in a comic that involves them being in school.

Tears of Blood[edit]

Emo fag

Tears of Blood is a crappy story written by Cheddar Cheesia about a 16 year old girl who has a pretty average life, but must be emo about it. Tina goes to a typical school that would be located in Laredo, Compton, or Bed-Stuy, so she witnesses people doing drugs, and thinks that no child should behave in such a manner. The story has no concept of a timeline; her brother goes to WWII when it's not even in the 1940's, and the high school is named after Gerald Ford, even though Gerald Ford was not president until 1974. She whines that her parents hate her when she gets no breakfast, three stupid bitches who can't even be fucking trolls, and her grandmother dying of cancer. Later on, it's changed to her grandfather having it. This causes her to do sick shit, like stab herself with pencils and become a hooker. This is actually Cheddar's biography. The story was discontinued because people were having too much lulz from it.

You can read the whole thing here


   
 
Her school was unlike any other, as it had people who vandalize, do drugs, and

even beat people up everyday. Every time Tina goes to school, she sees kids either doing such terrible things, but the teachers never seem to notice or care.
 


 
 

—from Tears of Blood.

Taco Wiz[edit]

For nearly four years, Cheddar has been friends with another Toontown addict known as Taco Wiz, who later went on to troll the YouTube Poop community. Taco Wiz is a huge John Kricfalusi fag, but he's one of the few that doesn't copy his opinions on animation like a zombie.

Cheddar Goes to deviantART[edit]

Proof that Cheddar uses cocaine.
Cheddar befriends Invader Zim fags.

After finally getting it into his thick head that he won't ever get hosted anywhere ever, he went to deviantART, the home of shitty Sonic recolors and Harry Potter porn. He made MSPaint characters and whined when anyone tried to give him criticism. He befriended Invader Zim fan leeches so he'd become popular. He befriended Invader Katara hoping to mooch off some "popularity" from her because everyone LOVES an Invader Zim artist.

Some people realized immediately that Cheddar was a retard, including a girl by the name of tehmandy. Originally, Cheddar liked her art, but when it was revealed that she (correctly) thought that he was an untalented prick, he arbitrarily decided that her art sucked (which it did, but to a slightly lesser degree than his). Mandy and some of her friends, including MashiTheInsane and zlxq3000, began to offer actual constructive criticism on his work, but he, of course, hated them for it, because his work was obviously perfect and in no need of improvement. Over time, the critics decided that he was a lost cause, and took to insulting his work. He has repeatedly tried to "kill" Mandy and zlxq3000 over MSN, apparently failing to realize that you cannot kill someone over the Internet. Unless, of course, you're Lori Drew.

Some people started to feel really sorry that he had lack of fans, so they made some fake fan accounts to bring his hopes up and then crash them down when he figured out they were made to torment him. Dollfacefan was born. She made crappy MSPaint drawings in five minutes, that were surprisingly better than Cheddar's work. Later, another person created Johnathan Lullez, claiming it was her brother. Cheddar got extremely butthurt after figuring out that they were fake (about a month after their creation) and reported the pages. Johnathan's account was banned, but the gallery still remains for all who want lulz.

Cheddar Banned on Porple Montage[edit]

And thus, everyone rejoiced.

After a miserable, yet hilarious experience, Cheddar was banned from the forums. Even though he wasn't breaking any rules (although there should be a rule for being an annoying fuck), everyone rejoiced and celebrated. Even so, sometimes we miss that little retard. :'(

This is what Cheddar had to say about his ban.

Ashley[edit]

Ashley was Cheddar's second internet girlfriend. He was tired of cyber-Irken pussy, and went to go find love on Toontown. Ashley and Cheddar loved cybering a lot, so much that they did so in public chat rooms. The sad part is neither of them had ever been laid, so they don't know what sex is like at all. Here's a transcript:

<Cheddar>: Okay, i'm gonna stick it in...
<Ashley>: Mmmmmm...
<Ashley>: Is it in yet?
<Cheddar>: *ORGASMS*
<Ashley>: You pussy, I hadn't even gotten wet yet!

Later, Cheddar broke it off with Ashley because she was "maturing too fast". In other words, she started to grow boobs and Cheddar likes his girls young. This is proof he'll become a child predator.

Go for Broke[edit]

Blood makes EVERYTHING better!
Same thing, but now he uses rocks instead of blood.

Go for Broke is Cheddar's new comic, except not really, since it's just taking his same stupid ass characters and putting them in the office. Cheddar is now the "boss", is treated like a god, and gets blowjobs from his characters. The comic is simply a shameful revenge tactic to get back at Porple Montage, but just looking at the logo, it looks like it's full of fail. Cheddar puts blood in the comic to make it seem mature, and even put a mature warning message on his page. The message is full of fail, because it states that only adults can see the comic, when Cheddar himself is only 15.

Scott Mann[edit]

In order to start a new life, Cheddar changed his name from Alex to Scott Mann. Changing your name makes everything better.

The Ben Folds/Danny Messer Saga[edit]

Cheddar, being a total fucktard, is unable to tell the vast difference between CSI NY's Danny Messer and the shitty emo musician Ben Folds. BECAUSE EVERY BLOND-ISH GUY WITH GLASSES IS A SHITTY EMO MUSICIAN, FTW. He was greatly mocked by self-proclaimed cripple, Kate. She was unjustifiably forced to listen to his whines of 'YOUR DP WAS TOO SMALL', but lol'd it off anyways because she had found someone who would talk to her. Also, the poor sod cannot tell the difference between Staten Island and Italy.

The Jessaga[edit]

Eventually, Cheddar met a girl by the name of Jessa through an MSN convo with Mandy. Because she had no idea what was going on and is a tree-loving vegetarian hippy, Jessa tried to end their fighting and balance things out between them. Once again, he turned to the first female Internet-spawn who, for whatever reason, decided to be NICE to him, and as soon as he found out that Jessa was of FEMALE orientation two weeks later, immediately fell in love with her. Cheddar is quoted as saying that he loves Jessa for her “crazy tomboy personality” (ie. dyke ); further proving that he is, in fact, a bitchy faggot who is in denial about his closet-trappage. Cheddar’s love for Jessa is painfully obvious, and is so in love with her that he is accepting her for the very things about her he is known to hate (like the fact that she is a bisexual Canadian Atheist.) He tells her that he loves her daily, and has tried to get in her virtual panties countless times. Cheddar fondly speaks of the day he and Jessa will meet apparently (he did the math...it would happen in 10 years). For months, he would tell her that she should wait to lose her virginity so that they could “lose it together. It will be magical. :3” He actually wanted her to wait a whole decade to get fucked. This went on until he discovered that Jessa had lost hers to his arch-nemesis Bob, Jessa’s boyfriend. Already butthurt about Bob trying to send him a fake virus almost a year earlier, Cheddar blocked him (surprise!) and multiplied the amount of times he told her he loves her by 57. Jessa has been told by her friends Kate, Bob, Mandy, Billy, and pretty much everybody else on the Internet to just shut him out of her life… but let’s face it. Chedd’s entertaining.

Kate joins The Dark Side[edit]

And ye, in the year of our lord 2008, Cheddar took it upon himself to apologize to Kate for being an idiot. Kate, being a horny 16-year-old girl who not-so-secretly loves Chedd and gives him stupid-ass pet names, immediately forgave him and proceeded to immerse herself in 4chan culture to impress him. He has since become her relationship consultant in regards to her having a crush on everything with a penis (not including her mother. They're 'SOOOO CLOSE!'). Cheddar's latest hobby has become gossiping relentlessly about Kate, since he's such a boring little fuck, he has to talk about OTHER people.

Anonymous[edit]

As of June 8th, 2008 Cheddar thinks he's part of Anonymous. This would be lulz worthy if it wasn't for the fact that he continually spouts memes now. And like the Newfag he is he lurks 4chan (despite being an underage ban) and expects others to play along with his annoying games. He is also convinced that he knows more than about Anonymous than anyone else.

Upon hearing this, the nerd Bob (Jessa's boyfriend IRL) decided to see if he was telling the truth. Long story short...he fell for the 127.0.0.1 trick. Bob being the nerd he is, tricked him into going to his server (while he was running an IP tracker) and got his IP! ITS NOT EVEN PROXIED!!

To all who are hackers who hate Cheddar (or Scott, as he is now calling himself) his IP is: 24.151.40.232

His real name is George W. Bush.

If you want to see where he really lives and his fugly house go to: http://www.iplocationfinder.com/ then click search (top left) and copy/paste his IP in

this is where it lives...pretty disgusting.....

Reaction to this article: The Chronicles of butthurt[edit]

Look at the little bitch whine!
Denial is a sign of butthurt.

After finding this article, Cheddar broke down with a severe case of butthurt. His attempt to fight back was to simply blank the article, not realizing it was making him look like a whiny fag. Which he is. After his smackjeeves site was trolled, he went into denial, made a blog to tell his "fans" about this article being false, and that nothing in it ever happened. Typical signs of butthurt.

Because Cheddar is not able to take criticism, he banhammered himself from deviant art, and removed all of his shitty artwork. Most of it was lost forever, although, his original Homeschool Schoolers site is still up BALEETED, and he still continues to update Go for Broke. His Tears of Blood story has been mirrored BALEETED, and some of his deviant art stuff is still out there. If you find any artwork by Cheddar, please post it.

Where is Cheddar now?[edit]

Although now outdated, Cheddar as of 2008.

Scott STILL plays Toontown, yes, he STILL does. His character's name is Cheddar-Cheesia. When questioned about the origins of his name, he replies, "Meh. It just sounded cool." He still updates his blog. But, because of this very article, he has deleted all traces of The Homeschool Schoolers. This article has caused him so much butthurt that he demands no one ever speak of it. If you do, HE'LL BLOCK YOU!!

If you ridicule him for still playing Toontown at age 15, he has this to say:

   
 
...Y'know... the reason people hate Toontown... is because it's Disney. If It was throwing fire and swords at monsters, it would be popular.
 

 
 

—Cheddar Cheesia

Scootle an hero'd?[edit]

Scott, being the pussy that he is, went "LOL I TROL U" and decided not to kill himself, after seeing the addition to this ED article. We've concluded that Scott is, indeed, a massive coward that SHOULD kill himself...by jumping off his porch.

See Also[edit]

External Links:[edit]

THESE ARE PRETTY MUCH DEAD:

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