Chelsea Clinton

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Chelsea Victoria Clinton (birth name: Chelsea Victoria Hubbell) Shiksa no more and Jewess since her 2010 marriage to Marc Mezvinsky, was born 27 February 1980 and is the alleged daughter of Bill Clinton and Hillary Clinton. Her maternity is certain since she has a strong resemblence to her mother, Bill, looking like an ugly Jew breed version of him but with long hair and tits, her paternity remains uncertain. Since most Democrats are realizing that Hillary is poison to her own campaigns and will never get elected to President even with a direct endorsement from G-D and Christ themselves, many libtards are suggesting that Chelsea can do it in 2020.


   
 
I’ve tried really hard to care about things that were very different from my parents. I was curious if I could care about money on some fundamental level, and I couldn’t
 

 
 

—Chelsea Clinton on how she hates money


Liberal Sensibilities[edit]

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It's not you. Trust me.

Like so many rich, well educated Democrats that only visit the inner city every fourth year when there is a Presidential Election, Chelsea knows more about what is ailing the poor then the poor themselves do without having any need to live among them or question them herself, she was taught directly by overly liberal, Ivy-League professors reqarding what they need over what they may want, like jobs, so they can make enough money to pay their Obamacare co-pays.
Like so many overly liberal, college graduates, Chelsea will tell you that it was through her own hard work and conviction and not her having parents with political connections and serious ducats, that when she graduated in 2003 she strolled into making close to a million dollars a year with a $500,000 a year consulting position for McKinsey & Company along with favorable positions given to her because of her name (like a chair position to the Clinton Foundation and a position with the School of American Ballet).
One of Chelsea's more unpopular endeavours was when she, a person who has never held office or worked for a politician, was picked up by NBC as a Special Political Correspondant at $750,000 a year to preach the favored liberal gospel that everyone is equal, everyone has the same chances, and everyone can get highpaying jobs and make their own opportunities if they go to college and vote Hillary. In May of 2013, Chelsea's contract with NBC was not renewed because of her unpopularity with television and media critics, many saying that parking meters and urine samples have more personality and are, unsurprisingly, better looking. Not one to stay unemployed for long, Chelsea now heads up the Clinton Foundation conclusively demonstrating that she is unable to hold down a job unless her parents hire her at over a million dollars a year.

She's A Serious Office Cunt[edit]

I can't play with you any more Ivanka, my Mom's mad at your Dad for beating her in an election.

According to hacked emails from Wikileaks, Doug Band accused Chelsea's office bullshit of driving the Clinton Foundation Chief Operating Officer Laura Graham to want to become an hero and exacerbate health issues with head board member Bruce Lindsey.
In later emails, Band goes on to accuse Chelsea of worrying more about an article in the Post about her father and his collection of bitches than the health of two senior Clinton Foundation Employees.


   
 
But I’m sure chelsea is more concerned with a mostly false story in the distinguished ny post about mf global and teneo not her role in what happened to laura/bruce, what she is doing to the organization or the several of stories that have appeared in the ny post about her father and a multitude of women over the years
 

 
 

—Doug Band Email

Critics, or most anyone with a brain, sees this for the grab for power that it is from Chelsea because a few months after these events it would be Chelsea heading up the Clinton Foundation along with her father Bill.

She Persisted[edit]

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She Persisted is a liberal piece of dog shit propaganda written by Chelsea Clinton to ensure that the brainwaished, feminist cuckold generation that was spawned in the 60s and 70s continues on because TV shows like I Am Jazz prove that their message being taught that little boys should hate themselves because they were born with a penis is just starting to take.
Like most far-left, white privilege ideology, She Persisted promotes the idea that "Not taking NO For An Answer" is an advantageous trait only if the word NO is not being taken as a final answer by Wimmins and not men. When it comes to men, NO should always mean NO because when a man ignores the word NO it usually ends in rape, theft and murder because the male-centric society demands men ignore the demands of those weaker than him as a sign of masculinity, power and pride. On the other hand, She Persisted looks to teach, through 15 stories, how women were able to rise against the male dominated society to vanquish the oppressive power of the delicious penis and arrive at what they wanted because they knew that everyone meant YES when they were saying NO.

The One Book We Do Want From Chelsea[edit]

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We want that tell all book about her as a teen growing up in the White House and walking in on Bill sitting on the couch, getting a beej from a fat-assed Jew intern while he sticks a cigar up her ass and the trauma she endured having her own father, The President, scream out her name when he was having an orgasm.
It can even follow the Lifetime Women's Channel cliche of Bill having that long talk with Chelsea where he tells her that if she ever says anything to her mother that he will make her go to community college and do everything in his power to see that she only can make $125,000 a year when she graduates from university.
We even want the made-for-Tv movie that has the overly simplistic scene of Chelsea feeling inferior, ugly and fat to Bill's girlfriends because he gives them all his time and has none for her and like all liberal propaganda it can end with her finding self respect after getting her hair straightened, her teeth fixed and 6 or 7 visits to a plastic surgeon because all Wimmins should be happy with what G-D gave them because all Wimmins are beautiful and no man has the right to make any Wimmins feel inferior or ugly. Only other women get to do that.


   
 
Chelsea Doesn't Subscribe To The Male-Centric Ideas Of Beauty. She Is Proud Of Who She Was Born
 

 
 




Chelsea For President[edit]


Chelsea For President or Chelsea 2020 is a meme that sprung out of Libtard fanaticism following the election of Our great and mighty god emperor, Donald Trump and the failure of other memes like #NotMyPresident when Democrats realized that Hillary is poison to her own self and couldn't even get elected in a rigged Syrian election with her name being the only one on the ballot.
Only taken serious by the Most Autistic Of The Left, it is starting to gain some traction as lefties search for someone, anyone they hope can stand up to our mighty warlord and master of the Dragon Punch human born god even if that person contradicts everything they claim to stand for or believe in.
Fuckwits and retards like Tara Strong, Chris Chan and Whoopi Goldberg argue that Chelsea is a serious contender for nomination and we shouldn't count her out due to her lack of experience because critics tried to dismiss Obama with the same tactic and he turned out to be the best president evar.
The irony of this is that they claim that someone like our mighty god emperor or Bush can never understand the average Americunt because they grew up in wealth, went to Ivy-league schools and have only worked for their parents but they have no problem getting behind a person whose parents are professional politicians, graduated college to make close to $1,000,000 year, is employed by her parents foundation making over one million dollars a year and is personally valued at or around $20 Million, having made close to or well over 2 million dollars a year since she graduated in 2003. If she were a Republican the media would be accusing her of having an unfair advantage.
Having not been born with extraneous appendage of a penis Chelsea is doubly safe from avoiding the criticism Bill received for Draft Dodging or not serving in the Military because the military is a career choice for dumb, white, southern men. Women's rights say nothing about a woman having a right or demanding the right to serve in combat. Her pride in America is that it has made her a millionaire and she has never had to lift a finger to help anyone, the same crime that your god emperor is accused of.

Chelsea The Social Justice Retard[edit]

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Like most Social Justice Warriors on the internets and Twitter Chelsea can't wait to show how red her Vagina bleeds when she is faced by Social Injustice.
Faced with such crimes against humanity, she quickly declares all out war against such purveyors of insensitivity by bringing them to public notice through her twitter or facebook accounts because what might seem like a gay joke to you right niw can quickly lead us back to another holocaust if your laughter is ignored and no one corrects you. She lets no one off for their trangressions, not a Jeweller with a clever ad campaign about throwing rocks at girls, not our god emperor when he says the idea of gays and Transgenders in the military is funny but she does let her mother and father both off the hook, defending their decision to keep a $2,500,000 donation from Hollywood rapist Harvey Weinstein saying that that money will pay her father's salary at the Clinton Foundation, or rather will do a lot of good buying kids in Puerto Rico fresh bottled water and Ipads for school.
If Chelsea thinks that it will earn her Mother more notice and it gets the ok from her, you can expect Chelsea to declare war against any insensitivity that will have her liberal mentality noticed and praised. Like most girls on the internet, she isn't posting because she's trying to make a change but because she has become addicted to the instant gratification of social media and likes hearing people, mostly 14-year-old virgin males, say how devoted to change and what an inspiration she is to them.

Trolling Trump On Twitter[edit]

Like all butthurt liberal voters with a twitter account, Chelsea sees it as a part of her duty to constantly troll someone who most likely has her on mute by saying that everything he does is wrong and her mother would be doing it better if it weren't for the half-assed idea that the electoral college is for picking Trump over her criminal mother.
Not-so-current events, mostly the earthquake in Puerto Rico, have Chelsea reminding everyone, especially Trump, what an up-standing liberal she is by tweeting about the suffering in Puerto Rico. She does nothing for them, of course, that is your job. Her place is to fight the war from behind a keyboard and inform others about the immense suffering going on so they do something in her place.
Her liberal sensibilities dictate that she must constantly remind everyone how she is different from other politicians before her and that she would be down there in Puerto Rico giving a hand to help her fellow humans if it weren't for the fact that since 90% of sewage treatment plants are out in Puerto Rico, it has become a steaming, cesspit of disease and infection and being a woman of baby-bearing years she doesn't want to ruin her chance of having more kids despite already having her 1 kid Feminism allows.

Chelsea Says Marijuana Can Kill You[edit]

While appearing on a campaign appearance for her mother in, of all places, the Crack-House of America Youngstown, Ohio Chelsea Clinton fell back on such Anti-Pot PSAs like Reefer Madness claimed that marijuana is a dangerous drug and is deadly when mixed with certain types of drugs.


   
 
But we also have anecdotal evidence now from Colorado where some of the people who were taking marijuana for [medical] purposes, the coroner believes, after they died, there was drug interactions with other things they were taking
 

 
 

—Chelsea Clinton claiming weed kills

Internet doctors were quick to point out with youtube videoes and articles on Vice.com that no one has ever overdosed on Marijuana. There might be some risks, they said, with heart medications and benzodiazepines like valium, but sites like vice.com and aging hippies like Tommy Chong were all quick to accurately point out that no one has ever died because of an interaction between "Some Drug" and Marijuana. Eat that, bitch.


Will Chelsea's Kids Be Jewish[edit]

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Short answer, no and yes. It depends on who you ask.
Many people, mostly SJWs, like to think that you can be raised both but like being Protestant or Catholic or having a white mother and a black father there is no inbetween. Unlike what a lot of Americans want to believe there is no Bisexual class when it comes to religion. You are either Jewish or you're not Jewish, much in the same way you are either Catholic or Protestant. Just like how you cannot hold the Protestant belief that praying to idols will have you cast into Hell and then claim to also be a Catholic that prays to idols. You can not believe that Jesus is the Messiah and then say you're Jewish who are still waiting for the Messiah.
Since Chelsea is not a Jew, her kids will not be Jewish simply because their mother was not a Jew. That's the Orthodox stance. The Orthodox Jewish press in Israel went out of its way to announce that Chelsea had non-Jewish children when the births of her children were announced.
Non-Orthodox or reform sects say her children can be Jewish but they must be raised as 100% Jews.

See Also[edit]


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