Chakichakigirl, or "Dee" is an anime fangirl with a penchant for fanfiction. A self-proclaimed "authoress", scientist, and "Boulder-transplant", she currently resides at FanFiction.Net. Chakichakigirl is obsessed with little girls, incest, SCIENCE, and dead people. She is currently under the delusion that she is an internet celebrity. She believes that bad reviews are sexual harassment, that anyone who hates her fanfiction is a stalker with the hots for her, and that people who don't review fanfiction are on welfare.
It is important to note that Chakichakigirl is completely batshit.
At least 100 years ago, a disoriented crack whore was torn a new one as Chakichakigirl (Dee) burst forth into an unwelcoming world that HATES WOMENS. With no mother, she and her brother were raised on SciFi channel, anime, and Mcdonalds french fries. As Dee's brain inevitably decayed, she easily found herself almost raped one night by an internet pedophile. (Later discovered to be Michael Jackson after seeing The Wiz) This immediately set her feminist fanfiction move into action, and Dee blossomed into a fabulous fanfiction AUTHORESS.
Since no fanfiction author can exist without existing fiction to whore off of, Dee quickly had to find a show that was empowering to women on a global basis. Being partially raised on Japanese porn led Dee to consider both "Powerpuff Girls Z", the retarded animu version of The Powerpuff Girls, and "Lucky Star", a loli show aimed at 40 year old male virgin basement-dwellers. One ejaculation later, her first fanfiction appeared on the internet.
Dee's fanfiction is one of the saddest collections of sad on FanFiction.Net. Dee has not seemed to realize that Lucky Shit is a boring show about nothing for overweight middle-aged pedos with nothing better to do than to watch animated schoolgirls talk, and thus writes horrible sci-fi-based insanity in an attempt to keep things "interesting". Her interpretation of the English language is very unique. Be warned: reading a fanfic by Dee may require a full day of bedrest to recover from overexposure to total fucking bullshit. Dee's fanfiction may consist of any three or more of the following:
- Schoolgirls that mutate into giant bug monsters
- Characters hating themselves for their faggotry
- Walls of text
- Completely out of character behavior
- Senseless techno-babble
- Real science
- Over 9000 exclamation points
- The word "UNREAL"
Dee has a never ending hard-on for the only dead character in the Lucky Star cast, and has written multiple creepy as hell stories about her. Despite the character's profile stating that she was 28 at the time of death, Dee knows better and insists that she was actually underaged pedobait (makes for better rapefic, amirite?). Despite the fact that many of Dee's stories incorporate lolicon girls having sex with their sisters, graphically turning into disturbing aliens, or being sexually abused, Dee will go on a moral tirade whenever pedophilia is mentioned, implying that it is something that she won't stand for.
Dee believes that her exalted works are not fanfics, but are in fact light novels (professional publications) and doujinshi (fan-made comics). Dee is too fucking retarded to know the retarded terminology of her own retarded fandom.
By the way, Dee has an iphone. It’s very important to her image and self-esteem that we all know that Dee has an iphone. It is mentioned on her profile and in every fic she writes. Have you heard of the iphone? Did you know that all of her fics are composed entirely on iphone? Wow! UNREAL!
READ MY FANFICZ!!!111
Dee's Forum Adventures
Eager to show her work to literary connoisseurs, Dee wasted no time in joining as many animu forums as possible to start whoring. What followed were many, many posts full of insanity, AIDS, and general WTF. Helpless virgin nerds and geeks across the intertubes had their eyes raped by:
- Countless spammed advertisements for her godawful fanfiction, usually having nothing to do with the thread itself.
- Mindfucking walls of text exhibiting Dee psychoanalyzing a bunch of 2-dimensional loli characters in an attempt to look 'smart'.
- Rants and lectures about teh evils of the animu pedos.
- Proud displays of offensive ignorance of azn cultures and a complete lack of ability to read whenever someone bothered to correct her bullshit.
- Total monkeyfucking insanity, including theories that tv writers steal fanfiction for inspiration and obsessive paragraphs on figuring out where the Lucky Shit characters live IRL.
- Everything followed up with a friendly reminder to READ THOSE GOD DAMNED FANFICS, FAGGOTS.
In the wake of this rousing campaign, Dee was eventually chased off of most forums she had joined. Apparently, she had been enough to annoy even the hardest loser fanboy of animesuki. Dee was butthurt but recovered, until...
Dee Nearly Becomes An Hero
Last Thursday, Dee noticed that her review to pageview ratio was very low. This was most likely due to her fanfiction's tendency to leave readers braindead and unable to type. Seething with righteous fury, Dee cried the tears of ultimate sadness and announced that she was LEAVING FF.NET FOREVAR, unless she got moar reviews. Shockingly, no one gave a shit. Idiots who wanted to keep exposing themselves to her radiation could join her "mailing list".
—Chakichakigirl, asking for it
(The above comment was baleeted but saved for great justice)
Dee's epic departure lasted all of 2 weeks, to the great sadness of the internet.
Chakichakigirl’s reaction to CRITICISM
Naturally, Dee went completely apeshit over this.
—Chakichakigirl, showing what brains she is.
—Chakichakigirl, very serious
Dee's retaliation began with labeling bad reviews as sexual harassment. All those who left bad reviews were labeled with her new fun-phrase, "carping trolls", or they were sexist stalkers who were jealous of her awesome writing prowess (and fandub!). This was a courageous move for women everywhere as Dee paved the way for all female writers into the respected, male-dominated profession of fanfiction writing.
Along with Carp, Dee's other major enemy includes the elusive, sneaky Gadfly. Last Thursday, too many Gadfly "Nibbles and Quibbles" caused her to block off her anonymous reviews from the website and only let people read her stories through e-mail.
Fortunately for Dee, she was no longer alone on the front against these malicious crap. Joining her was an army of anonymous fanfic reviewers who would rebuke nearly every bad review left on her stories. Suddenly, the girl who had to leave FF.Net forevar for a lack of reviews had a viable legion of anons at her every beck and call! These defenders of Dee not only worshiped the ground she walked on, defended her stories down to the tiny details, and agreed with all the claims of stalking and sexual harassment - they also talked exactly like all of the characters in Dee's fics! Wow!
Her sockpuppets consist of: Fictioneer, 8th Man, Maxlance, electric-ashes, anonman, Lance1, and Narcowhacker.
Believing the entire internet to be stupid, Dee hotly denies any claim of sockpuppeting. She says that all of her anonymous defenders are true signed authors who are fueled with the burning rage of great justice, but afraid that posting will make the "trolls" target them next. So Dee graciously posts anonymous reviews FOR them. Srsly. A common pattern of gender persecution complex can be seen:
Only real men visit fanfiction.net. Clearly, you have no place here.
An unknown entity (including gender), Fictioneer is possibly the most lulzworthy thing about Chakichakigirl. It is widely believed that Fictioneer sprung from the depths of Dee's anus one night while she was taking a shit. Since she couldn't afford to get a dog, Dee decided to train Fictioneer into her personal Internet Tough Guy to protect her from those pesky trolls. Top Psychologists speculate that Fictioneer's posts are even more confusing and batshit insane than its master's. Know that whenever Fictioneer arrives to engage a carping troll in battle, there are LULZ to be had.
No matter how harsh or how civil the reviewer is, Fictioneer will be sure to bring them to justice. At its arsenal are freedom of expression, total fail at coherent language, and words like "GEESE". Fictioneer knows that Dee's fanfiction review ratio will directly affect the overall safety of the intertubes, and Fictioneer alone stands between every Nazi-pedo-stalker out there and its master's sensitive ego. Because Fictioneer will constantly and violently encourage Dee's delusions, be assured that Dee will never improve as an author (but will always be lulzy) as long as he/she/it is around.
In moments of extreme anger, Fictioneer will proceed to take off all of its clothes and transform into a raw, UNCENSORED form of itself. Despite not understanding the internets, this does not keep it from complaining and defending its master.
—Fictioneer, hardened internet warrior
It is also quite possible that Fictioneer is nothing more than Chakichakigirl's most epic sockpuppet to date.
—Chakichakigirl, knows her resurrected frozen loli zombie-pedo husband science.
How to Troll Chakichakigirl
- Tell her that her fics suck because chicks can't write good sci-fi.
- Mention her homosexual ass-slave relationship with Fictioneer.
- Say that you hate her fanfiction because you know her from high school, you know where she lives, and you're coming to have sex with her.
- Accuse her of being a necrophiliac pedophile and tell her that her obsession with loli zombie Kanata proves it.
- Link her to this article.
- Tell her that Lucky Star is a show for men. Get out.
- Tell her that there is no scientific basis for anything in her fics. Provide facts for extra lulz.
- "Grandma always said, women need to get out of the workplace and back to the kitchen!"
- Leave a long, detailed review calmly stating why her story is shit. This will definitely bring Fictioneer out.
- Spam "Don't let carping trolls get you down!" on her review pages at least 100 times.
- Explain to her the difference between fanfiction, doujinshi, and a light novel.
- Remind her that Kanata is fucking dead.
- Tell her that you are Asian and that she is DOING IT WRONG, and you are so offended that you are going to sue.
- Make her a "fandub".
- Tell her she needs to BE A MAN if she ever wants to start writing well.
- 16-year-old girl
- Attention Whore
- Lucky Star
- Michael Jackson
- HAY GAIZ DID YOU KNOW CHAKICHAKIGIRL IS GETTING A FANDUB?! SHE IS SPESHUL. CLICK HERE TO BECOME JELUS.
- Her Superspecialawesome Powerpuff Girls forum
- Chakichakigirl on Animesucky
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