Chilf

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American Idol loser David Archuleta (sex be upon him) was a 17 year old world-renowned chilf worshipped as God in many parts of the world in 2008. Even tween and teenie bopper girls can't help their lusts over him. He's now 18 but still looks like a chilf. Now that's what I call good genes!

A chilf or C.H.I.L.F. (often capitalized and covered in spunk) is an acronym for "Child I'd Like [To] Fuck" derived from its archaic forebear M.I.L.F. While many a douchebag may confuse this for pedophilia, a chilf is typically 15 years of age or above until they reach the age of 18 — at which point they expire and taste bitter past their due date. Up until they're 15, it's pedophilia, you sick fuck. (But from infancy to three years old, it's awwiiiight.) The word "chilf" is not inherently gender-specific, but since I made this page and I'm a faggot I get to call dibs. Besides, the only things women are good for are cooking and breeding, and maybe possibly serving as a sturdy footstool.

Academia[edit]

Seal of Approval
Campus photograph of St. Samuel's Twink University. Their lockerrooms and showers are twice the size of an average high school football field.

St. Samuel's International Academy is a boarding school dedicated in turning scrawny boys into beautiful, soft twinks one ass-paddle at a time. A chilf is a subgenre of a twink; however, a twink is a broader term used to describe any lanky, hairless, cute (typically pasty-white) boy that may or may not be of legal age while chilfs are confined to the above-mentioned ages. Under St. Samuel's College of Liberal Arts a field of study known as Twinkonomics exists to educate the public on the highly complex and oft misunderstood art of Twink appreciation, recognition, and courtship. Several classes have been added to its curriculum on chilf theory due to popular demand by creepy old internet lurkers. For reasons unknown, class field trips to Thailand tend to be a main attraction.

Quality Control[edit]

All Chilfs go through a rigorous screening process by creepy old perverts to ensure quality. These seals of approval are either stamped or branded onto a chilf's buttocks.

Chilf or Just Twink?[edit]

Tips For Proper Identification[edit]

It takes years of study in learning to master the technique of distinguishing twink from chilf. Gay porn star extraordinaire Brent Corrigan (shown above) has gone through both phases, one as a chilf (left) and one as a twink (right). If anyone asks, those pics are legal. >.>
A depiction of the Twink Flag. Hand goes over the cock when hailing its anthem out of respect for those who risked their lives in bath houses to pave the way for future chilfs and their debauchery.

General characteristics solely chilf:

  • Punier than normal
  • Often pocket sized
  • Smell like those Downy sheets you add to your dryer after washing your clothes.
  • Are surrounded by unwanted old men.
  • They go by the name Horizon

A more complex science exists to fully master this art.

UPDATE 2009[edit]

Delicious twink David Archuleta, sex be upon him, has finally graduated from chilfdom. On behalf of all perverts we wish him the best and hope that he continues to inspire erections with his full-fledged twinkdom for years to cum.

See Also[edit]

External Links[edit]


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