Chris-chan/Trolling

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Chris-chan has become perhaps the most trolled individual on Encyclopedia Dramatica - possibly on the whole internet. Here are the accounts of him being taken for a ride by 13-year old boys, Chris himself trying his best internet tough guy routine (with predictable results) and his fantards experiencing troll's remorse.

Email Hacked[edit]

   
 
It's been a rough for me on this 17th of September.
 

 
 

—Chris Chan being butthurt upon discovering the massive amount of hax.

On September 16th, 2008, Chris's AOL E-mail/YouTube/MySpace was hacked. Chris's emails revealed never-before-seen information about him and his lifestyle. Apparently, he buys stuff that is common for any basement dwelling weeaboo, including anime sex dolls for every day of the week and anal beads. His mother was found to be aware that her son "mass debates" at least twice a week because he tells her when he's going to jack off and lastly, it was revealed that his best (and only) friend, Megan, didn't like being sexually harassed by him.

Screenshots[edit]


A Winrar is Chris-chan[edit]

CWC has been working out for his entry in the Guitar Hero series.

Thanks to the efforts of retards from 4chan, Chris-chan was able to win the GameStop Guitar Hero contest. He thought that it was his loyal fans who voted for him, but like everything else that 4chan has been involved in lately, fail was afoot. What was originally surmised as a surefire way of getting the living fail that is Chris-chan involved with the fail that is Guitar Hero became a horrible mistake. All the voting was for was a weekly $400 GameStop gift certificate with the votes having no relevance to the outcome of the sweepstakes. So this round goes to Chris; thus bringing his win/fail ratio to 0.0002.

In this video, Chris expressed his appreciation to his fans who voted for him in the Guitar Hero contest. Chris, being a good Christian, announced that the $400 gift card would be shared with the congregation of his church. While no new information was revealed by the announcement, it seems that contrary to public assumption, he was not expelled from his church after his n00dz surfaced.

Not that he needed the $400, considering the $800 a month he receives by being a welfare leech.


Drama with Wikipedia[edit]

On 01 May 2009, for only God knows why, Christian Weston Chandler registered on Wikipedia as ChrisChanSonichu perma-banned. He created a user page that is to record one of the most in depth autobiographical accounts of his life. A user page is not an article, but this is still a flagrant violation of Wikipedia policy. Chris's user page was deleted by a Wikipedia admin believing it to be the work of a troll. Sadly, as the details below show, this is the real Chris, all too real...

The other thing Chris did was add his name to the article on high-functioning autism, under the list of "famous individuals that may have had many different variations of autism along with HFA," along with a published author decorated by two countries and Renaissance artist Michelangelo. His edits can be seen here.

The "Christian Weston Chandler" article on Wikipedia has been created by trolls 4 times and deleted 4 times: February 15, March 26, April 28, May 3 by Wikipedophiles.Wikipedia:Articles for deletion/Christian Weston Chandler

On 03 May 2009, Chris posted a video attacking Wikipedia for deleting his user page, in addition to this message on his talk page:

Dear Sir/Madam,

LOOK, I do not have the appropriate calm state of mind to make time to READ those numerous upon numerous small-print details, much less memorize them. I have had a LOT of SLANDEROUS TWISTS OF MY OWN WORDS done unto me in the past SOO MUCH, it is HARDEST for me to get a job in a place that does background checks, only to find that cursed E.D. Page those EVIL TROLLS created against me at the TOP of the list. I started my OWN Wikipedia page to hopefully counter that and better the people's General Understand of the Noble Gentleman I truly am. I SPENT HOURS, recalling MEMORY after MEMORY to type up the HONEST-TO-GOD TRUTH.

I DO NOT CARE about the erroneous listings or false information listed on other pages; I ONLY WISH TO TELL THE TRUTH AND SPREAD IT ON THE INTERNET. Plus, I have Vanessa Anne Hudgens as an honest, very close Gal-Pal, and you know very well how powerful she is as a STAR. I have created a video on YouTube respectfully asking to leave my Wikipedia ALONE with MY HONEST TRUTH from MY OWN High-Functioning Autistic Head; my LOYAL FANBASE will be sending you letters.

UNDO YOUR DELETION, PLEASE.

-Christian Weston Chandler (talk) 01:25, 4 May 2009 (UTC)

In short, Chris doesn't give a shit about contributing to Wikipedia, only wanting free PR. The page has been re-upped but hopefully Wikipedia will remove the page again, because who should have to suffer reading about the EPIC FAIL that is this overweight, retarded manchild?

June 11, 2009, after some people impersonated Chris on Wikipedia, one of them used a proxy and TOW tracked a bunch of vandal accounts using the proxy and falsely blamed it all on Chris.


A Brown Sonichu appears![edit]

Chris reexperienced the creation and birth of Sonichu.

After Chris was coerced into taking a seven-hour cross-state bogus trip to a ghetto in Cleveland to rescue Julie from her brother, Chris's umpteenth trolling came to a climax when Julie's brother got all of Chris's passwords (he used the same one for everything) and promptly used them to delete his website and hold his PlayStation network ransom.

Julie's brother tortured Chris for an hour on the phone with the same love that Kenny Glenn has for cats as he screamed abuse in his grating prepubescent voice. Unsurprisingly, the kid who spent two months aiding an autistic manchild to achieve orgasm initially demanded to travel to Virginia to receive a blowjob from Chris, proving that the troll himself was a male lesbian (and a muslim extremist that would never speak to him again if he destroyed a Koran). Halfway through the hour-long assault, Julie's brother issued an ultimatum threatening to send Chris's sweetheart back to Europe unless he stuck his medallion up his asshole while shouting "Zap to the extreme!"

Permitting him to cut it into four pieces first, the screaming boy demanded that Chris record the whole act on webcam.

ANUS SHATTERED: 0% INTACT

Troll's remorse set in rapidly among other trolls who told him to stop, apparently thinking that making a mentally retarded person burn down his house might just be pushing it too far. Eventually, Julie explained to Chris that she did not actually exist and that Chris was actually a pedophile cybering and exposing himself to a 13 year old boy. The realization that he had been trolled once more seemed to hurt him more than the chunks of yellow crap he just rammed up his ass.

HEART SHATTERED: 0% INTACT

Somehow thinking that Chris would comply and send him the video after he revealed all of this, the troll stupidly didn't bother recording it himself. However, the hour-long ordeal can be found in audio form here. It's also possible that the troll realized the gravity of what he had done while listening to the blind panic of other trolls, and decided to cease trolling Chris and hand in his badge and gun along with the other trolls who were shitting themselves. Completely understanding the concept of anonymity while committing what is obviously something both fucked up and illegal, his IRC handle was clearly mentioned by other the trolls who told him to stop.

PSN Hacked[edit]

Very recently, Chris was apparently hacked on his PSN account by some guy named "Surfshack Tito". Chris posted, as usual, a death threat. In this video, not only does he fail to recognize a reference to a classic Nickelodeon cartoon called Rocket Power, but he also fails to mention anything about his father being in the hospital. Only more evidence of how Chris is a psychopathic, selfish, narcissistic sick fuck who'd rather cry over his PSN account (because using the same fucking password for everything is perfect hack protection, Chris) than beg God for the redneck from whom Chris gets most of his funds to live.

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