Chupacabra

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El Chupacabra, Oh how I <3 thee!

Chupacabras (not to be confused with Chewbaccas) have done everything from stealing your sheep to having an intimate relationship with your mom to raping your 4 month old brother with a spoon.

WTF is a Chupacabra?[edit]

A Chupacabra is a furry from Mexico that specializes in sucking blood out of animals, especially goats. No one knows what El Chupacabra looks like, but descriptions have ranged anywhere from a mix between Cthulhu and George Bush to a very striking resemblance of you. Unfortunately like all the people from Mexico, the Chupacabra have been illegally invading America via the trunk of a car since the 1990s. Fucking Chupacabras! First they take our jobs, then our money, and now our women. What's next?

Known Types of Chupacabra[edit]

Attempts at Describing a Chupacabra[edit]

Pedo version of El Chupacabra.

Farting Lizard[edit]

The most common description of Chupacabra is a reptile-like being, appearing to have leathery or scaly greenish-gray skin and sharp spines or quills running down its back. This form is about 3-4 feet tall, and stands and hops in a similar fashion to a kangaroo. This variety is said to have a dog or panther-like nose and face, a forked tongue, and large fangs. It is said to hiss and screech when alarmed, as well as leave a sulfuric stench behind. When it screeches, some reports note that the Chupacabra's eyes glow an unusual red, that gives the witnesses nausea. Some witnesses have reported seeing bat-like wings.

Dog-Lizard[edit]

Another description of Chupacabra, although not as common, is described as a strange breed of wild dog (i.e. what you will be eating tonight at a Chinese restaurant). This form is mostly hairless, has a pronounced spinal ridge, unusually pronounced eye sockets, fangs, and claws. It is claimed that this breed might be an example of a dog-like reptile. Unlike conventional predators, the Chupacabra is said to drain all of the furfag's blood through a single hole or two holes made on the cock.

El Chupacabra on El JewTube[edit]

In this particular video, some faggot, presumably a /b/tard, pits Riddick against El Chupacabra.

Looks moar like Chewbacca to me.

IRL fame[edit]

Awww it's in love!

The popularity of the Chupacabras has resulted in it being featured in several different ways.

Books[edit]

  • Several scientific books trying to either prove or disprove their existence.

Blogs[edit]

Movies[edit]

Television[edit]

Note-worthy things Chupacabras have done[edit]

It's not rape if you yell surprise at the end!

They did it for the lulz[edit]

The first reported siting of border-hopping Chupacabra doing it for the lulz was in March 1995 in Puerto Rico. In this attack, 8 goats were discovered dead from being drained of blood. In 1975, similar killings in the small town of Moca occurred; but at the time were attributed to local sodomites. Initially it was suspected that the killings were committed by a Satanic cult, but further killings were later reported around the island, and many farms reported losses of over 9000. Each of the furries had been bled dry through a series of small circular incisions on their cocks.

Moar Chupacabra Sightings[edit]

Fast cars, slow El Chupacabra.

America[edit]

/b/[edit]

  • Whenever there is a mention of something somewhere sucking, /b/tards cream their jeans at the thought of being sucked off by this lovely creature. As a result, El Chupie holds a dear place in the heart of the anus of the internet; though not quite as famous as he should be. You can help by spamming the fuck out of this place if you want Chupie to be loved even moar.

In Russia, Chupacabra suck you![edit]

Colombia[edit]

Being a homo and a crack addict obviously go hand in hand; therefore, one would expect Chupie to show up here, amirite? A few years ago, a series of reports on Colombian national news reported more than 300 dead sheep in the region of Boyaca, and the capture of a possible Chupacabra specimen to be analyzed by scientists at the National University of Colombia.

Philippines[edit]

Chupie was caught again in the Philippines sucking dick on the corner after getting his rent money ripped off by Filipino hookers. Some of the residents believe that it was the Chupacabra that killed 8 budding Filipino hookers after being scammed out of his rent for a second time. The owner of the skilled Lolis reported that he saw a dog-like furry ass-pwning his property.

Your Mom's ass[edit]

  • Srsly, who hasn't been there?

Delicious Denial[edit]

How experts view El Chupacabra.

In an attempt to deny the existence of the awesomeness that is Chupacabra, the liberal media has tried to pass of El Chupie as akin to Bigfoot or the Lochness Monster. What Bitches don't know about is that Chupie is real, and will assrape anyone who says anything to the contrary. If Chupie wasn't real, why does he have his own t-shirts?.

So, I heard you liek...[edit]

El Chupacabra surprise-sexing yet another unsuspecting furry.

Things Chupacabra do liek[edit]

Things Chupacabra don't liek[edit]


Summary[edit]

The Chupacabra is: One. Scary. Nigger....that will eat your childrens and chikins, and have buttsecks with your wife and your mom. Oh, and he hates you. But feel free to return the favor.

Gallery[edit]

[Collapse GalleryExpand Gallery]

See Also[edit]

External Links[edit]

Blogs[edit]

Forums[edit]

Misc. Websites[edit]

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