Chyna

From Encyclopedia Dramatica
Jump to: navigation, search
Not to be confused with China or Blac Chyna, or China, Chris-Chan's neologism for pussy

Joanie Laurer, more commonly known as Chyna, was a bodybuilder and professional wrestler in the WWF who taught the young women of the late-90s that they could do anything that a man could do as long as they just put their hearts into it and abused a shitload of steroids and other assorted drugs. She was also known for having developed a micropenis and for her obnoxious voice that sounded like the last breaths of a dying animal that just got run over by a Mack Truck.

Following her career as a professional wrestler, Chyna went on to star in various films and television shows – Most notably landing a role as She-Hulk in a low-budget porno and appearing on Celebrity Rehab in a failed attempt to battle her life-threatening addiction to alcohol and drugs. On April 20, 2016, Chyna's bloated and maggot-infested corpse was found in her apartment, the police believe that she died of a "suspected drug overdose" several days earlier at the young age of 45.

Chyna was billed as being the "Ninth Wonder of the World", and her seemingly circumcised micropenis was often billed as being the tenth.

Career[edit]

Chyna vs. Jeff Jarrett

Joanie Laurer was hired by the WWF in 1997 after abusing steroids and proving herself worthy by beating the living shit out of a man in a dress. She took the stage name of "Chyna" (derived from the word vachyna) and quickly rose to prominence due to the fact that she possessed a pussy – Something that most professional wrestlers didn't possess at the time.

After winning many fights that were definitely not staged, Chyna then faced off with Jeff Jarrett in a match for the WWF Intercontinental Championship Belt. Chyna ended up smacking Jeff Jarrett with a literal kitchen sink and then finished him with a guitar to the back of his head, thus making her the first female to ever hold the title of WWF Intercontinental Champion.

After leaving the world of professional wrestling, Chyna then began a career as a porn star.

Last Night in Chyna[edit]


Chyna, preparing to curl up and die.


Quotes[edit]

   
 
No matter the cause of death, we all know that #patriarchy killed Chyna. #RIPChyna
 

 
 

—SemperJase, thinking that the patriarchy did Chyna

   
 
Shattered glass ceilings, kicked down doors, broke gender barriers, . Rest now-ur legacy lives on #RIPChyna
 

 
 

—alwayslarrie3, believing that steroids are feminism drugs

   
 
I'm still fucked up about it sorry!!!!!! Bye Chyna was murdered by misogyny and indifference just like the rest of us will be don't @ me
 

 
 

—jortician ‏

   
 
chyna was murdered by Vince McMahon as a way of cleansing his products history of any unsavory characters #WakeUp
 

 
 

—Alex J. Riley, revealing the truth

   
 
WWE has a problem. Chyna dies aged 45, following Chris Benoit murder-suicide, and early deaths of Test, Eddie Guerrero, Umaga, Bigelow ...
 

 
 

—Jamie Pandaram, realizing that wrestlers tend to die young

   
 
HHH and stephany McMahon killed Chyna
 

 
 

—JussDuffy

   
 
Queen Elizabeth had Chyna killed for her 90th birthday.
 

 
 

—Ditherkins

   
 
No, old people pass away, Chyna killed her self through self distructive behavior. Let's not sugar coat it...
 

 
 

—Jason Soler

   
 
Do people really think Vince McMahon actually killed Chyna? What world do you live in ...
 

 
 

—Chewy Shittwood

   
 
Conor McGregor killed Chyna as part of an initiation rite from Hunter in order to get signed by the Fed.

WAKE UP SHEEPLE.
 


 
 

—MokojinGaming

   
 
#RIPChyna OMFG CHYNA Is DEAD !!!!!!!!!! @KylieJenner KILLED HER
 

 
 

—fassionable

   
 
Chyna died huh? Karma for all the boners she killed by being in a porn.
 

 
 

—Cthulhu_Tweets

   
 
I think Black Chyna got that Chyna gal killed so she could be just "Chyna", but now it's too late because no one will call her that.
 

 
 

—BettyGGA

   
 
Trump killed Chyna.

Prove me wrong.
 


 
 

—SooperMexican

   
 
RIP all of Chyna except her mutant clit that killed a cop and had a cameo in the Toxic Avenger.
 

 
 

—Andrew Polk

   
 
IM GONNA GO FAP TO CHYNAS SHEHULK PRON DERE OR WHATEVER FUCK....GONNA BE A GOOD TIME DAWGS!!!
 

 
 

—WrestlingJesus

Galleria de Chyna[edit]

[Collapse GalleryExpand Gallery]


Fan Art (i.e. Rule 34) About missing Pics
[Collapse GalleryExpand Gallery]

Videos[edit]






See Also[edit]

The WWF's logo from back when Chyna was still relevant.


Portal faggotry.png

Chyna is part of a series on

Homosexual Deviants

Visit the Faggotry Portal for complete coverage.

Portal sex.jpg

Chyna is part of a series on

Sex

Visit the Sex Portal for complete coverage.

ED olympics.JPG

Chyna
is part of a series on
the ED Special Olympics
Sports

BaseballBasketballBoxingButtrapeCricketFootballGhost RidingHandeggHockeyLe ParkourMMASoccerTennisVuvuzela

Not Sports

BulletballE-sportsGamblingGolfHemaInternet BloodsportsPaulPolandballProfessional WrestlingSexSchool ShootingStarcraftSuper Smash Bros

Competitions

OlympicsSpecial OlympicsBeijing OlympicsLondon 2012Olympic FlameOppression OlympicsPain OlympicsPyeongChang 2018 Winter Olympics2010 World Cup

Topics

SportTeam UruguayNew York YankeesRed Sox NationChicago CubsHockey ScoresJews in sportOlympics Gymnastics FanficSoccermoms/sp/

Athletes

Air BudAllison StokkeBarry BondsBilly MartinBrandon PhillipsBrett FavreBruce JennerCindy CrosbyDiego MaradonaEmiliano SalaGary LinekerGeorge SteinbrennerJim BunningJohn TerryKlitschko brothersLawrence TaylorMichael PhelpsMike TysonNodar KumaritashviliRax GrissmanRobert GreenRon MexicoShawn JohnsonThurman ThomasTy CobbZinedine Zidane

Chyna is part of a series on Dying Alone

[DeadCry yourself to sleep]

Poemo.jpg Those Who Have Died Alone

Aaron SwartzAdam LanzaAlexis ArquetteAmanda ToddAmy WinehouseAnal CuntAndy KaufmanAngry GrandpaAnna Nicole SmithBill HicksBrandon CrispBrian AdamsCharmaine DragunChester BenningtonChloe SagalChris BenoitChristopher ClearyChris Harper-MercerChynaCodey PorterDavid BowieDavid CarradineDavid KatzDimebag DarrellEazy-EEdaremEdd GouldEdgar Allan PoeElliot RodgerElvis PresleyEmer PrevostEtikaGene RayGeorge CarlinGeorge SodiniGizgizHappyCabbieHarambeHeath LedgerJason BowenJeff WeiseJewWarioJim MorrisonJohn LennonKate SpadeKatelyn Nicole DavisKitty0706Kurt CobainLeelah AlcornLemonade CoyoteLil PeepLiloMegan MeierMichael JacksonMitchell HendersonMySpaceOtoya YamaguchiPekka-Eric AuvinenPrinceRandy StairRdtheproductionsRehtaeh ParsonsRicardo LopezRipperRobin WilliamsRudolph ZurickScout SchultzShawn WoolleyShayStan LeeStephen HawkingStephen HillenburgStephen PaddockSteve StephensTony48219TooDamnFilthyTupacTyler DumstorfVerne TroyerVester FlanaganVidmeWilliam AtchisonZippcast

Those Dying Alone

03bgood2cash2 gryphon7jackass77Adam SandlerAdam WanAhuviya HarelAIDS SkrillexAkewsticRockRAlex FordAlex HirschAtheistsAlex JonesAlison RappAmerica's Third PartyAmericanDad86Amy SchumerAngry Homo KidAngry JoeAniMatAnimatedJamesAnita SarkeesianAndrei ThomasAnonymous BorgAnthony 'A-Log' LoGattoAnthony ToneyAntony AguilarAnytownfagApril DavisAquagirlwhitefoxArgent009Arguecat3Ariana GrandeArin HansonArmake21AsalieriAsa CoonAsher2500Austin AlexanderAvantGardePonyBambifan101BarneyfagBasement DwellersBen FordBen MoynihanBenny_the_SnakeBenthelooneyBig RedBikerfoxBill9929Bill GaedeBill GatesBLACKbusterCriticBlood on the Dance FloorBlueCatRioluBob RehahnBrandontheMovieGuyBrandon SmithBrian MuellerBrianna WuBrokeNCYDEBroniesBrucesnoopButLovaByAppointmentToCarl the CuckCartoonjunkieCaseydeckerCheeyevChibiyimaChi-Chan24Chris-chanChris CrockerChuck M.Clint of Rise and FallCloudyEggsCNNCopperCabCorey MargeraCoughlan666CrazyvideosandrantsCrinklemonDaniel BrandtDan CilleyDane CookDani FilthDani_WillowDarius McCollumDarknessthecurseDarksydePhilDaron NefcyDave ChapelleDave Mustaine David CleggDavid HockeyDaxflameDBoyWheelerDeekerDeterminedToDrawUTDev-catscratchDGTrixieDiaper BoyDisneyFan01DisneyMasterDJ KEEMSTARDLAbaoaquDnepropetrovsk maniacsDon RobertsDoodletonesDoomer3868Doopie DoOverDoopie DoOver/PeopleDorian_GayDoug WalkerDragoneerDrakondrp1zzaDustinEdray1416EmosEpic Fat GuyEpicKitty54Eric AbramovEric RidenourErik RibsskogErik "Tazman" MokracekExoParadigmGamerFilthy FrankFagolescentsFanFic CriticFast EddieFat ManFaust & Pory Five Nights at Freddy's fansFlardoxFluffy teh wolfForeverKailynFriends of A-LogFurriesG-ZayGather Against FateGeorge LopezGhostGirlvinylGoddessMilleniaGreg MazujianGwen GaleGwen StefaniHarmful OpinionsHellkiller777Hozupindahows00sI Dislike Cis PeopleI Hate EverythingIan Miles Cheongicze⁴rImma-The-DeerInkBunnyInSaNe-REYNARDJames HolmesJamil The KingJennifer BaquingJessi SlaughterJessica LeedsJim ProfitJinuSenpaiJoe Crusher PicklesJoekerJoeysworldtourJohn BullaJohn FieldJohn KricfalusiJohn Patrick RogersJonathan McIntoshJonTronJoseph CampJoseph8276JoshU2uberJoshua "Null" MoonJuggalosJustinandDennisJustinRPGKaBlamBandicoot64Karamatsugirllover92Kat DenningsKathleen ToddKendall JennerKenny GlennKero The WolfKevin HavensKimmo Johan AlmKingEmpoleonKingMasterReviewKittenBellNSFWKothorixKphoriaKrashedKurt EichenbaldLarry the Cable GuyLauren FaustLeafyIsHereLecarickLeigh AlexanderLeisureSuitGamingLena DunhamLeonard F. Shaner Jr.Les SixLeslie JonesLifeInATentLikeicareLinkaraLittleCloudLittleKuribohLordelthibarLowti3rgodLucian HodobocM. ChaosMajira StrawberryA Man in BlackManchildrenMarblesMariotehplumberMarjan SiklicMatrooko11Matthew DavisMatthew NicholsonMaxtaroMcJuggerNuggetsMDetector5‎MeganSpeaksMeowbarkMeta527IIMichael BattonMichael BayMichael FitzhywelMichael GimsonMike SandymindoutofsyncMiss ScarlettMoleman9000Monica PunkMonkeyGameGuidesMoviebobMSNBCMumkey JonesMuZemikeMylarBalloonFanMysteriousMrEnterMysticArkNaokoElric2250Nascar221Natalie PortmanNathan GaleNawlinWikiNeckbeardsNeoGAFNick BateNick BravoNihilistic SnakeNikkineko333Noah AntwilerNostalgia ChickNotchNullcherriOFWGKTAOnyx ForepawPaigeGirlParkourdude91Paul FeigPaulie CalafiorePeter CoffinPhantomStrider8Phil FishPhunWithLogicPinkieponyPit ViperPixyteriPMRantsPreachingthegospelProfessor KuhtoonsQuentin TarantinoRachael MacFarlaneRandi HarperRebecca SugarRebelTaxiRicki RavenRina-ChanRMG ProductionsRobert Wayne StilesRockosockoRomeo RoseRootbrianRose3212Ross LumbusSad FrogSam HydeSam PepperSammyClassicSonicFanSarah ButtsSarah SilvermanSarahisniftySaturnDOSSceptreSchnookumsSega KidSegacampSeth MacFarlaneSethistoShadmanSimply OkamiSlowbeef & DiabetusSnapesnoggerSolidMarioSonmanicSonofOdin29Sons of KojimaSony-MaeSONYFANBOYSophie LabelleSoulja BoySpax3SpiderfanStephen SampleSteven PruittStormySuperlisamcbSuperMarioLoganSuper Planet DolanSusan BoyleSusan J. ElliottTara StrongTempleOSThatKidDouglasTheAmazingAtheistTheDOSFagThe rEactorTheSockDetectiveTimboxTim BuckleyTJ LaneTMossBossToby J RathjenTodd in the ShadowsTom PrestonToonEGuyTourneyfagsTranime GirlTrey Eric SeslerTrigglypuffTyciolTyler GarmanyUlillilliaThe Unknown AutobotUrinatingTreeUwe BollVadeVinceintheBayVideo game reviewersViolette1stWade FulpWeatherManKevinWeegeeisgoingtokillmWesley!!!WingsofRedemptionWinona RyderWoWfan4lifeWwwareaYoshiwii1YandereDevYouyoungbloodfantasy91Zoe QuinnZone

Their Methods

9gagAdventure TimeAn HeroAIDSAnimuAlt-rightArt SchoolA-Log's Fanfictionask.fmAsperger's SyndromeAssigned MaleAtheismBath SaltsThe Big Bang TheoryBattle For Dream IslandBlackLivesMatterBlack metalBody PillowsBitViewBoozeBullyingBuzzFeedChildren's CartoonsClown WorldComputer Science IIICosplayCumOnPrintedPics.ComCupheadDead FriendDeath metalDeath penaltyDating SimsDeviantARTDiscordDrugsEdginessFamily GuyFanFictionFeminismFedoraFidget spinner The Filthy Frank ShowFive Nights at Freddy'sFleshlightFriend ZoneFurAffinity Furry ArtGarry's ModGoAnimate!GooglewhackingGorillazGothsGravity FallsGreen DayGreeny PhatomGrindcoreHackingHappy Madison ProductionsHomestuck‎Hover hand‎HufflepuffHigh ScoreIndie musicInfantilismInsane Clown PosseInvisible GirlfriendIRCJenkemKiwi FarmsKotakuLeague of LegendsLegoLibertarianismLiveJournalLonelyLoveShyMai WaifuMen's rights activismMinecraftMLP ForumsMMORPGsMGTOWMUDsMy Little PonyMy Tiny DickNarutoNice GuyismNu metalOculus RiftOh ShiternetOnline datingOnline sex gamesOverwatchPAW PatrolPlastic CrapPlenty of FishPunk rock/r9k/Rick and MortyRobloxRule 34RuneScapeSecond LifeSelf-VictimizationShy Boys IRLSilk Screen Goku ShirtSkaSlayerSlipknotSluthateSmogon UniversitySocial JusticeSource FilmmakerSouth ParkSparkalloonSpeakoniaStar vs. the Forces of EvilSteven UniverseTaking the Internet Too SeriouslyTeam Fortress 2That Guy With The GlassesThe Anytown ShowThe EntersphereThe SimsThey Might Be GiantsTomb RaiderToolTransformersTulpasTumblrTV TropesUnchartedUncle GrandpaUncyclopediaUndertaleUnikittyVidLiiVirginityVirtual YoutubersVloggerheadsWatchMojo.comWeezerWikimaniaWizardchanWorld of WarcraftYouTube

Featured article April 22 & 23, 2016
Preceded by
School Shooting
Chyna Succeeded by
UnpronounceableSymbol.png