Cid and Conner's Excellent Adventure

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Nuvola
Moar info: Cid Silverwing.
Nuvola
Moar info: Conner Hemming.


Spoiler Alert...

Every so often, two lolcows will combine forces in an effort to bring down their common enemies. Other timers, they'll just cyberfuck each other until the dreaded drama! rears it's ugly head and separates the once inseparable. Minor furry notables Cid Silverwing and Conner Hemming are two such gents. After becoming acquainted via their mutual humiliation at the hands of both Encyclopedia Dramatica and their fellow furfags, Conner and Cid took a break from the tortures of fighting the legions of trolls out to harass and slander them and proceeded to harass and slander each other in between fetish-heavy yiff sessions.

Winter Lovers[edit]

Towards the end of 2010, Cid met the acquaintanceship of lulz up-and-comer Conner Hemming. Conner, in the darkest days of his career in humiliation, sought refuge in Cid omg MUZKLE AHRMS. The relationship was as boring and mundane as most furfag internet relationships are; some talk of video games, cybersex, complaining about trolls, nothing of any real interest.


   
 
*[12/7/2010 7:55:53 PM] Santa Conner: i love you cid
  • [12/7/2010 7:55:59 PM] Cid SilverWing: ^^
  • [12/7/2010 7:56:07 PM] Santa Conner: i mean it
     

 
 

—fags

   
 
  • [12/7/2010 7:56:59 PM] Cid SilverWing: I have very few who understand me as well
  • [12/7/2010 7:57:11 PM] Santa Conner: i understand you
  • [12/7/2010 8:00:16 PM] Santa Conner: Santa Conner cuddles and licks your muzzle
     

 
 

—Super fags

   
 
  • [12/8/2010 9:20:26 AM] Santa Conner: Santa Conner cuddles "my cid"
  • [12/8/2010 11:10:24 AM] Cid SilverWing: *fl00f*
     

 
 

—Ultra Fags

   
 
  • [12/10/2010 9:25:02 AM] Cid SilverWing: But are you into muzcle?
  • [12/10/2010 9:25:12 AM] Santa Conner: merf?
  • [12/10/2010 9:25:14 AM] Santa Conner: like oral?
  • [12/10/2010 9:25:27 AM] Cid SilverWing: Muscle
  • [12/10/2010 9:25:34 AM] Santa Conner: kinda
  • [12/10/2010 9:26:12 AM] Santa Conner: i'll do muscle fur ya if you do macro fur me ^^
     

 
 

—Fair is fair.


Shit got real for young Cid when Conner, life ruined by that damned Encyclopedia Dramatica, bemoaning his ruined reputation amongst the furries and the trolling, began considering suicide.

   
 
*
  • [12/7/2010 8:54:29 PM] Santa Conner: for 3 years?
  • [12/7/2010 8:54:32 PM] Cid SilverWing: Yuzh
  • [12/7/2010 8:54:35 PM] Santa Conner: 3 years straight with no break?
  • [12/7/2010 8:54:43 PM] Cid SilverWing: They do it at least thrice a year
  • [12/7/2010 8:55:21 PM] Santa Conner: they do it to me
  • [12/7/2010 8:55:22 PM] Santa Conner: every day
  • [12/7/2010 8:55:24 PM] Santa Conner: for 3 years
  • [12/7/2010 8:55:42 PM] Cid SilverWing: I think it's time you traced their IP's and contacted the police
  • [12/7/2010 8:55:51 PM] Santa Conner: im crying now
  • [12/7/2010 8:55:56 PM] Cid SilverWing: *muzclehug*
     

 
 

—3 YEARS!!! ; __ ;

   
 
  • [12/7/2010 8:57:08 PM] Santa Conner: one person isnt enough to keep me from killing someone
     

 
 

——Conner, quite upset

   
 
  • [12/7/2010 8:58:00 PM] Santa Conner: Santa Conner tosses my ipod across my room
     

 
 

— heh heh

   
 
  • [12/7/2010 8:59:44 PM] Santa Conner: Santa Conner tosses my keyboard and storms out
  • [12/7/2010 9:00:03 PM] Cid SilverWing: Conner?
  • [12/7/2010 9:00:14 PM] Cid SilverWing: Conner!
     

 
 

——DON'T YOU ROLEPLAY ON ME!!!

   
 
  • [12/7/2010 9:04:31 PM] Santa Conner: i think i know how to get the trolls to back off
  • [12/7/2010 9:04:43 PM] Cid SilverWing: Conner, listen to me
  • [12/7/2010 9:04:54 PM] Santa Conner: i have a gun
     

 
 

——"Mom just wanted to cut the internet off, but we came to a pretty good compromise"

   
 
  • [12/7/2010 9:05:42 PM] Santa Conner: ill be dead!
  • [12/7/2010 9:05:45 PM] Cid SilverWing: You will be proclaimed "an hero"
  • [12/7/2010 9:05:51 PM] Cid SilverWing: Suicide is their ultimate lulz!
     

 
 

—Even Cid can get one right sometimes

   
 
  • [12/7/2010 9:07:59 PM] Santa Conner: no one loves me
  • [12/7/2010 9:08:10 PM] Santa Conner: my family even said to my face "i wish you were never born"
     

 
 

—Don't we all, Zach...


Trouble in Paradise[edit]

Tensions only grew for the two young faggots due to the combined pressure of both of their unwavering paranoia and unquenchable, deviant sexual appetite. As the days went on, each suspected the other was a double agent, feeding deep personal secrets to trolls and their newfound common enemy; Felinoid and his Empire of Things server mates from Second Life. Their crippling cowardice preventing them from making any real diplomacy with their former cohorts, the two merely began a hilarious yiff based cold war over who would betray who first, their respective Encyclopedia Dramatica articles being the nuclear option at stake. Cid cracked first, accusing Conner of tipping off the trolls to their forbidden love and exposing more of his dirty laundry to the world. Conner, at first denying the entire affair, eventually cracked and confessed, albeit in the least believable, most retarded way possible.

   
 
*
  • [11.12.2010 18:11:53] Santa Conner: then part of your article is true, it said something about you getting mad over dumb ass shit
  • [11.12.2010 18:12:12] Cid SilverWing: I don't appreciate strawman arguments in the slightest. Now let's just forget about this
  • [11.12.2010 18:12:27] Santa Conner: not until you're no longer mad
  • [11.12.2010 18:12:34] Cid SilverWing: Don't start with me
  • [11.12.2010 18:12:50] Santa Conner: what are you going to do, prove how your article is more true than it is?
     

 
 

——It is true.

   
 
  • [11.12.2010 18:13:02] Cid SilverWing: What's your problem?
  • [11.12.2010 18:13:13] Santa Conner: shit is going to hit us both in a few days because the trolls found out we are friends
  • [11.12.2010 18:13:33] Cid SilverWing: You know the routine. Blockety blockety
  • [11.12.2010 18:13:46] Santa Conner: its going on something i cant block
  • [11.12.2010 18:13:51] Cid SilverWing: Which is?
  • [11.12.2010 18:14:04] Santa Conner: ED and my rep, which is already shit
     

 
 

——Conner feeling the heat

   
 
  • [11.12.2010 18:18:00] Santa Conner: ya know what
  • [11.12.2010 18:18:00] Santa Conner: gone
  • [11.12.2010 18:19:44] Santa Conner: ya know what, a few days ago you didnt want me to die, but now im beginning to think you do. enjoy your christmas present
  • [11.12.2010 18:19:54] Cid SilverWing: There you go again, strawmanning me
  • [11.12.2010 18:20:00] Cid SilverWing: I don't want you to die. Ever
  • [11.12.2010 18:20:09] Santa Conner: too bad
     

 
 

——I'LL FUCKING DO IT THIS TIME ; _____ ;

   
 
  • [11.12.2010 18:21:04] Cid SilverWing: You wanna know what I kept getting told when I was trolled and raged about it? "Stop caring"
  • [11.12.2010 18:21:13] Santa Conner: no
  • [11.12.2010 18:21:19] Santa Conner: because they know where i fucking live
  • [11.12.2010 18:21:26] Cid SilverWing: And if they come to your house you call 911
  • [11.12.2010 18:21:32] Cid SilverWing: Not that they ever will
  • [11.12.2010 18:21:37] Santa Conner: i cant
  • [11.12.2010 18:21:41] Santa Conner: i dont have cops where i live
     

 
 

——Around here is where a normal person would have caught on to the fact 'somebody' had a little fibbing habit...

   
 
  • [11.12.2010 18:22:15] Santa Conner: first: i asked you out, you turned me down
  • [11.12.2010 18:22:26] Santa Conner: second: changing your stories to make you not look bad
  • [11.12.2010 18:22:40] Santa Conner: third: yelling and hating me over dumb shit
  • [11.12.2010 18:23:00] Cid SilverWing: I rejected your relationship because I've swore off relationships forever ago. I don't change stories, you're the one who won't let me finish my full statements. Third, you made that up
     

 
 

——Conner taking a break from conspiracy theories and back to the safety of fag break up drama

   
 
  • [10:39:55 AM] Conner Hemming: if it was false love
  • [10:40:04 AM] Cid SilverWing: Why else would you tell me everything?
  • [10:40:06 AM] Conner Hemming: would i be trying to keep you to stay?
  • [10:40:14 AM] Cid SilverWing: Yes, because you desperately want to fuck me up
  • [10:40:19 AM] Conner Hemming: no i dont
  • [10:40:20 AM] Conner Hemming: for fucks sake
  • [10:40:28 AM] Conner Hemming: i HATE EoT
  • [10:40:31 AM] Conner Hemming: i HATE ED
  • [10:40:37 AM] Conner Hemming: I FUCKING HATE DRACONAS
  • [10:41:00 AM] Cid SilverWing: Hearty words from a captor. But words whispered through bars lose their charm
     

 
 

——WHAT HAPPENED TO US CID :(

   
 
  • [10:43:01 AM] Conner Hemming: its because i LOVE YOU
  • [10:43:03 AM] Cid SilverWing: Fuck you and your charades
  • [10:43:08 AM] Conner Hemming: get that through your THICK SKULL
  • [10:43:11 AM] Conner Hemming: I
  • [10:43:12 AM] Conner Hemming: LOVE
  • [10:43:13 AM] Conner Hemming: YOU
  • [10:43:21 AM] Cid SilverWing: Get THIS through YOUR thick skull - I HATE TRAITORS
  • [10:43:29 AM] Conner Hemming: I DIDNT DO ANYTHING
  • [10:43:31 AM] Cid SilverWing: You deserve DEATH for your HERESY!
  • [10:43:33 AM Conner Hemming: WHERE IS THE FUCKING PROOF?
  • [10:44:01 AM] Conner Hemming: PUSSY
     

 
 

——HOW COULD THIS HAPPEN TO ME


Not before trying to defend himself against a hilarious Team Fortress 2 analogy, however;

   
 
  • [10:31:30 AM] Cid SilverWing: Do you play Team Fortress 2?
  • [10:31:38 AM] Conner Hemming: sometimes why?
  • [10:31:50 AM] Cid SilverWing: Ever fancied the Medic?
  • [10:31:58 AM] Conner Hemming: nope
  • [10:32:01 AM] Cid SilverWing: Spy?
  • [10:32:02 AM] Conner Hemming: heavy and engineer
  • [10:32:11 AM] Cid SilverWing: I've got a little tale for you
  • [10:32:16 AM] Conner Hemming: okay?
  • [10:32:19 AM] Cid SilverWing: Last night I was a Medic
  • [10:32:35 AM] Cid SilverWing: A Heavy called for me and I had to Ubercharge him
  • [10:32:59 AM] Cid SilverWing: This was in 2fort, in our intel room, full of sentries and shit, and the engineers weren't tending them
  • [10:33:22 AM] Cid SilverWing: The instant I uber the Heavy, he saps all the buildings and backstabs me, yoinks the intel and my team loses
  • [10:33:38 AM] Conner Hemming: was a spy
  • [10:33:46 AM] Cid SilverWing: You were that Spy Heavy
     

 
 

—...

   
 
  • [10:34:40 AM] Cid SilverWing: This entire time, you've been stringing me up like a puppet, just like everyone else
  • [10:34:44 AM] Conner Hemming: dude
  • [10:34:45 AM] Conner Hemming: calm down
  • [10:34:47 AM] Cid SilverWing: Shut up!
  • [10:34:50 AM] Conner Hemming: i had TF2 trial
  • [10:34:54 AM] Conner Hemming: it ran out weeks ago
  • [10:34:55 AM] Cid SilverWing: This isn't about TF2
  • [10:34:57 AM] Conner Hemming: it was not
  • [10:34:57 AM] Conner Hemming: me
  • [10:35:04 AM] Cid SilverWing: This is about real-life
  • [10:35:10 AM] Conner Hemming: you said it was TF2
  • [10:35:17 AM] Cid SilverWing: That was an analogy, you fuckwit
     

 
 

— —It's ok, Conner. Normal people couldn't follow, either.


Conner Tries to Cover His Ass With The Most Blatant Lie Ever[edit]

The honeymoon was over. A furious Cid raging and a dimwitted Conner unable to sooth his burning asshole, Conner came to a sudden realization. He couldn't have his crippled Norwegian anymore, but he could make that gimp-legged little shit believe he had just pulled some epic shit against him.

With that, Conner let the hammer fall; that he was never trolled at all! Conner, as he had Cid believe, had actually made his Encyclopedia Dramatica article on his own for attention!. Not only that, but trolls had cooperated with him and exchange for getting such valuable information from Cid to go on his own article! It was the most brilliant psyops operation ever, and Conner had just proven himself to be an epic troll of legendary proportions.

Now normally, some might see this overtly elaborated backstory as a desperate and obvious lie from someone trying to cover his ass. Cid however, being a dirty little autistic, believed every fucking word of it.


   
 
  • [11.12.2010 18:25:57] Santa Conner: i never get trolled
  • [11.12.2010 18:25:57] Cid SilverWing: You what?
  • [11.12.2010 18:26:04] Santa Conner: i started my ED article
  • [11.12.2010 18:26:09] Santa Conner: I WROTE IT
  • [11.12.2010 18:26:18] Santa Conner: i did it to get views on my pages and shit
  • [11.12.2010 18:26:21] Santa Conner: and it works
     

 
 

— —You'd think even a retard would see this makes no sense. Cid however is no ordinary retard.

   
 
  • [11.12.2010 18:26:40] Cid SilverWing: I was right from the beginning
  • [11.12.2010 18:26:45] Cid SilverWing: You're a motherfucking attention whore
  • [11.12.2010 18:26:49] Santa Conner: nope
  • [11.12.2010 18:26:55] Santa Conner: i was trying to see if your article was true
  • [11.12.2010 18:26:57] Santa Conner: i was usin ya
  • [11.12.2010 18:27:05] Santa Conner: i have too much attention
     

 
 

—Don't take it personal Cid, it was just a social experiment

   
 
  • [11.12.2010 18:27:18] Santa Conner: the reason the trolls found out is
  • [11.12.2010 18:27:22] Cid SilverWing: Because you told them
  • [11.12.2010 18:27:29] Cid SilverWing: Admit it
  • [11.12.2010 18:27:34] Santa Conner: kinda
  • [11.12.2010 18:27:40] Cid SilverWing: There you go
  • [11.12.2010 18:27:43] Santa Conner: i had one teamview with me and watch us tak
  • [11.12.2010 18:27:55] Santa Conner: so its 50/50
  • [11.12.2010 18:28:03] Cid SilverWing: Half-truths won't serve you
  • [11.12.2010 18:28:06] Santa Conner: im also giving him the logs
  • [11.12.2010 18:28:13] Santa Conner: and they will be posted
  • [11.12.2010 18:28:15] Cid SilverWing: Go right ahead
     

 
 

——Conner, not thinking this through too thoroughly


His lover betrayed, Conner immediately handed over logs of his long relationship to trolls to be posted on Encyclopedia Dramatica. It's unsure why exactly he assumed the event served to embarrass Cid more than himself, since the freshness of his own personal vendetta against ED is worth far more than some boring logs of Cid Silverwing, however we're all very glad he did.

The Logs[edit]

The event in it's entirty may be downloaded here. Meet...The Heretic

This little number puts the whole Team Fortress analogy into perspective.

Links[edit]

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