Cillit Bang

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Cillit Bang was invented at least 100 years ago by some 13-year-old boy. (No, seriously, he's like 13 or some shit in the DDR community.) No one knows exactly what is in Cillit Bang, but it burns! It burns! It is given to naughty children in England because of its burningness. They are tricked into thinking it is candy, but no! They are wrong! Once they drink it, BANG! -- their face is gone. In England, famous Attention Whores such as Jodie Marsh's tit have clamed to have drunken it in a rage of OMG, but the most common use of Cillit Bang is to clean pennies. Experts say it is a favourite passtime of over half of Europe's furry population.

It also sounds like "clit bang".

This user submerged their hand in Cillit Bang.
Police found these dead people at a Barndance Barry Scott liked to attend.
To avenge Brothers Limescale and Rust!

Barry Scott[edit]

Barry Scott is the leader of the Cillit Bang cult. He regularly appears on TV promoting it to young children. He is a pedophile, but experts love him. He is known to host sex parties at his manor in China's finest hotel. He was Azn but at the age of two converted to White. Some may argue he got bored. Barry Scott molested lunarsandwich at least 100 years ago. He is also the illegitmate lovechild of Billy Mays. Barry Scott is the only human known at this time to be impervious to the effects of Cillit Bang. Some say he even guzzles it down in public areas and then laughs as children and adults alike copy him. The effects are devastating. He often appears on the ads on TV, in which you have turn your TV's volume down because he shouts too fucking loud. There is also a music video about Cillit Bang which can be found here:


Of course Cillit Bang was first created by Hitler in his Nazi laboratories, while trying to find a substitute for milk. After realising its sheer destructive power (When it dissolved his bowl of cornflakes.) he went on a killing spree to feed his hatred of the Jewish people, a trait shared by many scientists (including Albert Einstein and Stephen Hawking). This of course was covered up by the media and the general view held today is that there was some sort of holocaust. I don't know. Look it up. After his release from a holding cell in the local police station Hitler set about promoting his new weapon of mass dissolvation. He tried several slogans, including 'What a Feeling!' and 'Have a Break, Have some Cillit Bang.' He then found and stuck with the slogan we all know and love to this day, which is of course 'BANG - and the Jews are gone.'


Evidence of the Shocking Effects[edit]

Famous People known to have used Cillit Bang[edit]

See Also[edit]