Codey "Code Red" Porter (April 17, 1997-March 10, 2008) was the name of a 10-year-old boy and amateur Arab from the state of Washington. Although media sources claimed that Codey's nickname was a portmanteau of his name (Codey) and the color of his hair (GINGAH), it was simply what his parents and close friends would scream whenever he picked up anything sharper than a wooden spoon.
In March of 2008, Codey and his friends attempted to reenact the deadly "Sandbox Coffin" jutsu after seeing it in action in the popular ninja anime Naruto. The technique was super-effective since Porter died immediately after losing all of his chakra (and oxygen) in the attempt.
Soon after, Anonymous dutifully documented the brave exploits of the late s& hero with cruel jokes, lulzy shoops, and fake MySpace accounts. We wholeheartedly understand that Codey's situation is an extremely sad and tragic event. If the wikification of this topic upsets you, please click the "Offended" template to provide feedback.
So, here's what actually happened
On March 10th, 2008 he and a few friends decided to LARP Naruto. This resulted in an heroism when he requested that his friends bury his head in the sand box so he could imitate teh amazing power of Gaara of teh Sand's SAND COFFIN; proving once again that Naruto role-playing is serious business. Even for fifth graders.
FUN FACT: Codey was an organ donor, and his family allowed his organs to be used to benefit the community. It is presumed the family was required to clean the sand out of the lungs before donating them to Orochimaru for experimentation.
FUN FACT 2: Faggy Jap cartoons are the number 1 cause in all sandbox related deaths.
Obviously, the media dipshits had to jump all over this, covering the whole thing as a tragedy and blaming it on television, rather than the natural end of a stupid kid. Fox News reported that the boys were, "Trying to emulate a cartoon called Nar-ru-doh Arab" Anonymous was extremely butthurt and went on an obsessive autistic rant about the incorrect pronunciation, as if every newsreader in the U.S. is supposed to be able to speak Japaneeser:
"I shit you not, one reporter actually called it that. I mean, seriously, they can pronounce the fucking AZN reporter's name correctly, but fuck the name of the show that killed somebody. They even said his name out loud in the clip, for fuck's sake. Well, it is lulzy that Cody's official name is "DAH SANDMASTAH!" -- Some Anonymous Asspie retard totally lacking a conscience
Cartoons are a bad influence on Children, nobody really has yellow skin anyways. Except those funny colored chinks.
According to his friends, they watched in horror (though they probably didn't care very much) as their friend was buried under the gruesome sand. However, some do speculate that this was not an accident of a fucking retarded kid, but instead a plot by Codey's "friends". It was rumored that Codey was used as a sacrifice by his friends in order for them to obtain the Mangekyo Sharingan. His friends wanted the Magenkyo Sharingan so bad that they killed Sandmastah, their close friend. Or maybe it was just bullying gone too far; they did say he was a really smart kid and his friends were probably budding alpha males. Either way, Codey Porter was an true S& Hero, and will be missed.
Now, this is the story all about how
Code Red got flipped turned upside down.
And we'd like to take a minute, just sit right there.
We'll tell you how he ended up in the sand with no air.
In west Washington state, born and raised,
In the sandbox is where he spent most of his days.
Chillin' out, diggin', playin' all cool,
And watchin' some Naruto outside of the school.
When he saw a guy named Gaara up to somethin' good,
He did a Sand Coffin, and Code Red understood.
He had to role-play Naruto, but his Mom got scared,
She said, "You're not emulatin' that show, you won't have any air!"
So he whistled for his friends, and when they came near,
Codey said he had a plan and would proceed without fear.
If anything, his friends could say this plan wasn't sound,
But they thought, "Naw, forget it. Let's put him in the ground!"
Code Red dove into the sand around 7 or 8,
And he yelled to his friends, "Hmmmmph Aaahhhhhh Hllpp."
Since his friends couldn't hear him, he got IRL b&.
Now he can sit up in heaven as the Master of S&.
Jorbacca Sparks Memorial video
That boy has got to stay on top
|Watching Cartoon Network, with his head hung low
Couldn't get a life, it was a shitty show
Heard the roar of the crowd, he could picture the sqee
Put his eye to the TV, then like a distant scream
He saw one Gaara, just blew him away
He saw rings round his eyes, and the very next day
He got beat up for watching it in the window of a store
Didn't know what to do then, but he knew for sure
That one Gaara, felt good in his hands
Didn't take long, to understand
Just one Gaara, going way down low
Was a one way ticket, only one way to go
So he started digging
Ain't never gonna stop
Gotta keep on digging
He isn't gonna make it to the top
And be an sandbox hero, got sand in his eyes
He's an sandbox hero
He took one Gaara, an sandbox hero, sand in his eyes
An sandbox hero, won't come alive tonight
- Play Naruto with your friends in a sandbox.
- Choose to play Gaara.
- Bury self in the sand.
- Don't pull it out, and make sure your friends don't either by hitting them if they come too close.
What the Tubes are saying
—King 5 News
—A Quote-Unquote Parent, from the same article.
—Every other JewTube comment.
- An Hero
- An Halo
- Jake Roberts
- Kids in Sandbox
- ED's Sandbox (put head here)
- Brandon Crisp who was savagely mauled by a pack of wild snow. It was completely out of the blue and chilled the hearts of millions.
- Everett boy buried in sandbox dies.
- Sandmastah's X-BOX Live Gamercard
- A challenger appears
- Codey at Find a Grave, must troll for great lulztice.
|Featured article March 27, 2008|
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