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Columbiners

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A CHS student, making a fake gun pose. Another picture exists of her wearing a trenchcoat. It is believed that she got expelled for this photo shoot (inside the school no less) but we applaud her for the effort.

Columbiners are rabid fangirls (and an occasional fanboy) who are obsessed and often in love with Eric Harris and Dylan Klebold, the perpetrators of the infamous Columbine High School Massacre of 1999. They tend to congregate on Tumblr, a leftist site infamous for harboring millions of the most degenerate fucked up freaks imaginable. Columbiners are also known as the TCC, which presumably stands for "The Columbine Club", "Timid Crazy Cunts" or "True Crime Community". They number in the tens of thousands and several TCCfags have committed to plans of real world violence. The vast majority of Columbiners are extremely mentally ill teenage girls, although it is a known fact that the vast majority of women are fucked up in the head. However, these broads take it to a whole new level. Not only is the idolization of two dead mass murderers (of which almost all of their victims were the oppressed and not oppressor) incredibly perverse and obscene, but it is highly disrespectful to thousands of friends and family members of the victims of Columbine- showing just how evil these sick whores are. Despite it being 2017, there seems to be no slowing down of this fucked up subculture, with an endless stream of jailbait whores fawning over two dead ugly kikes.

Origin

Columbine Tattoo.jpg


   
 
This funeral stopped the further growth of one thing — the petition to the governor for Injun Joe's pardon. The petition had been largely signed; many tearful and eloquent meetings had been held, and a committee of sappy women been appointed to go in deep mourning and wail around the governor, and implore him to be a merciful ass and trample his duty under foot. Injun Joe was believed to have killed five citizens of the village, but what of that? If he had been Satan himself there would have been plenty of weaklings ready to scribble their names to a pardon-petition, and drip a tear on it from their permanently impaired and leaky water-works.
 

 
 

—Even Mark Twain knew about this

The attacks at Columbine resulted in only 15 deaths, but the impact was almost comparable to 9/11, at least for Millennials. Ever since the news broke out, tens of thousands of trolls and admirers came into existence. Though hybristophilia has long been in existence, it's not until recent times that the internet has given us such a great insight into their minds, as the internet allowed these freaks to develop their own community, providing us with endless disgusting blogs and fanfics. As the world changed and the internet evolved, these admirers went from curious Goth kids on AOL to LiveJournal, to the forums of the game Super Columbine Massacre RPG, to YouTubers such as Pekka-Eric Auvinen, to the current times, where Generation Z kids nest on Tumblr. The Dumblrina variety came into prominence around 2011, and accelerated in 2014. This new generation of admirers are more disturbing and bizarre than any before them and provide extreme potential for lulz, should you seek them out for cowmilking. Practically all Columbiners admire and obsess over the shooters, whilst saying that they "Don't condone". Should you infiltrate their circles, you'll find the majority of them eager to commit acts of mass murder; truly, these freaks are an extreme risk to society. They often dress the same (Dark clothes / Trenchcoats), listen to the same music (KMFDM, Rammstein, etc.) and develop the same interests as the killers did. Many in the community have casually made public jokes and threats to commit acts of mass-violence. Though mostly underground, this community has gained the attention of the media ever since the actions of Lindsay Kantha Souvannarath in 2015. In addition, the community has also brought about a great deal of butthurt from normies and nerds who don't have what it takes to get the girls.

The fag Onision did a video about these freaks, bringing in more attention to the scene:

Hybristophilia

As referenced to earlier, hybristophilia is a illness of the mind where crazy ass mentally ill dumb whores fall madly in love with criminals, especially mass shooters and serial killers in the modern era. It is likely that hybristophilia has a scientific explanation; throughout the history of the earth, life forms were extremist and aggressive in their behavior. They had to be fierce fighters, slaughtering other life forms en-masse for the precious resources necessary for the act of reproduction due to the harsh environment that the Earth is. Countless millions of years later, mammals were spawned IRL. They were the same in essence, albeit slowly becoming less savage through time. The same applies to mankind although not necessarily all the time. In order for males to pass on their seed, they usually had no other choice but to rape the women of enemy tribes and keep them as their wives. So men basically evolved and split into two types, beta males and the alpha males. It's 2017 so we all know the drill by now. Killing people is alpha as fuck and makes women's panties wet hence why soldiers get lusted after by so many whores. Evolution coded into women's minds that the warlord had the most sex appeal, and the nice guy was worth jack shit to them (though they usually have more resources such as net worth) even though the aggressive psychopaths were most likely to hurt the woman and her children, along with being a detriment to advanced society. But anyone who doesn't have their head in the sand knows, the vast majority of people are not logical creatures. And the creatures with the worst capability for the comprehension of logic, honor and loyalty is a woman; especially a modern western one. In the modern era it would be logical for girls to lust after the nerdy kids as they had the highest chances of getting an advanced degree and making good money, while most of the popular fags in school such as the jocks, usually end up lower middle class at best by middle age. So, the beta males have to wait until they have the money (resources) until women pay any attention to them. For all of human history, the warlord / warrior; the strongest men, had the best capability to protect women and children and attack enemies for food and supplies- the resources necessary to reproduce; the meaning of life.

So it should have sunk in by now why there would be admiration and lust for soldiers, killers and other types of criminals, as they are the modern incarnation of the warlords of lore. Its why whores always give you the door while they go to suck off the alpha douchebags. So basically most of these mass shooters and school shooters were beta male faggots, the losers and outcasts like you and I. But killing a fuckload of people, even if it's obviously a complete crime against humanity, turns the switches on in girls's brains and makes these cocksuckers soak down there. That, coupled with the fact that almost all women are mentally ill to at least a moderate extent, results in the extreme cringe and despicable nonsense that is the phenomenon of Hybristophilia.

Notable Members

A fan's NBK costume

Due to the disturbing nature of the Columbiner / TCC scene, and the fact that it's Dumblr, there have been various fools who have made a clown of themselves within that community. We at ED will list them here for all eternity, for the world to shame them for their degeneracy and attempts at violence. Although most Columbiners try to act intimidating, most of them are weak nerdy suburban youth IRL and often pose little threat. However, some have gone for the High Score- and often failed. This list only counts those within the Dumblr lolumbine scene; those who went for the High Score or other notable lolcows.

Brooke Higgins

One of the two hot jailbait assailants caught planning a massacre in suburban Denver, Brooke Higgins is heavily suspected of once possessing a dumblr account. She had a strong interest in the Columbine shooters, and was very likely a TCC whore.

Lindsay Souvannarath

  • Lindsay Kantha Souvannarath, James Gamble, and Randall Steven Shepherd - These three dumbasses conspired to commit mass murder at the Halifax Shopping Center back in early 2015. They were very frequent bloggers on Tumblr, and extremely active in the Columbiner scene. They met through the site and grew to become very close friends; Lindsay was dating James apparently. James acted as the supplier for the NBK; he had in his possession an AK-47, two shotguns, and a Ruger Mini-14. Sadly, their plan was quickly foiled because they hinted at their plans constantly, even posting a picture "Valentines Day 2015 - It's going down". PRO-TIP: If you're going to participate in crime, don't fucking let anyone know about it you fucking idiots.

They each had their own blogs on dumblr, listed below -

Lynn Ann

Lynann5.jpg

Though all Columbiners are massive freakshows, Lynn Ann takes the goddamn cake. Lynn is likely the biggest fangirl of that faggot Eric Harris. She has posters of that kid, coffee cups of him, and much more. She dedicated an entire channel to her love and obsession with that loser, which eventually attracted a lot of negative attention to her and her story. Her degenerate obsession and crush for that faggot has warranted her very own article, here on ED.

Kali Jade Bookey

A 14 year old girl who was obsessed with Columbine. She attacked her brother's girlfriend and nearly killed her, because she was jealous of her brother giving the GF all the attention. She referred to herself as a "psycho" who was looking for her "first kill". She posted a picture of Eric Harris on her Facebook on his birthday. She explained to the police that she didn't want to murder the girl; just scare her away. Believed to once operate a dumblr acc.

Canadian Jane Doe

An unidentified 14 year old girl who was very active on dumblr, and posted a threat declaring an attack. Hours later, she reenacted Alex Hribal and knifed several students before getting v&.

That One Guy

A Youtube Vlogger who has accumulated a small cult following. This fag mainly sucks off and worships the columbine fags. Despite looking like a scrawny manlet shrimp with no genetically superior qualities, this weirdo has managed to score the hearts of hundreds of mentally ill teenage thots, so we'll give him creds for that. However, whatever the fuck name "That One Guy" is, prob won't be able to tap any of that jailbait ass since he's likely in his 20s. That's all we really know about this goober.

Randy Robert Stair

Columbiner 22248.jpg

One of the more recent mass shooters, Randy was a 24 year old sperglord who fantasized about gay sex with the columbine fags, while he updated his social media accounts with his autistic and pathetic ass Danny Phantom + School Shooting ERP fanfics and artworks. Eventually that faggot scored shotguns and refurnished them to look like the Columbine shooters shit, then used them to kill a few people before systematically becoming an hero. Later, he was discovered to have been a avid poster on Columbine fan forums / facebook groups where he unsuccessfully tried to score with some of the thots around there.

How To Troll Columbiners

Columbiner6383833.jpg
  • Call the Columbine shooters out for being gay
    • And killing innocents; those who were smarter and more successful then they ever could've been
  • Call them severely mentally ill, and suggest they visit a psychiatrist
    • Or trigger the fuck out of them and drive them to suicide. Should be easy enough.
  • Tell them that Reb and Vodka would have shot them in the face irl
  • Call them fags or dumb whores
  • Report them to the FBI; you'll probably get them v&, and be preventing a massacre in the process!
    • To report them to the FBI, please follow this link, and fill in the form with the appropriate information.
  • Seriously. REPORT THEM TO THE PROPER AUTHORITIES. There are actual lives at risk, and you'll fucking ruin these crazy cunts lives in the process!
  • Show them Animal abuse / gore material. This will trigger the fuck out of them and probably make them cut themselves
  • Tell them that their serial killer husbandos are the most popular and generic out of all serial killer husbandos
  • Have an opinion even remotely right-wing
  • Enact psychological warfare by pointing out how they're impure whores for sucking off chad, getting pumped and dumped, becoming feminist cunts, and driving their beta orbiters to suicide so that she'd notice them. Subtly convince them that they are monsters and should terminate their existence. They possess extremely unstable personalities and minds, and pose an extreme threat to themselves. Take advantage of this fact for the greater good.
  • Steal their content and re-upload it somewhere else
  • Troll the fuck out of them and repeatedly suggest they kill themselves
  • Tell them to read "Columbine" by Dave Cullen.

Variants

There are several different microcultures similar to Columbiners, mostly on Tumblr. Typically, they are people interested in crime cases (mostly other school shooters, or serial killers). Often, thousands of fangirls are in these circles and get wet over other dickheads like TJ Lane, Pekka-Eric Auvinen or even the pedophile child killer, Adam Lanza.

Videos


For extra cringe, read the comments.

Shit degenerate suburban freaks say.

Gallery

[Collapse GalleryExpand Gallery]

See Also

External Links


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Columbiners is part of a series on

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Visit the Whores Portal for complete coverage.

Tumblr-t.png Columbiners is part of a series on Tumblr.



[Become triggeredEducate yourself]

Tumblrfags

16-year-old girlsBroniesCash MasterColumbinersCumberbitchesPotterheadsHipstersHomestucksI dislike Cis PeopleFeministsFanFic CriticGenderfreaksLeelah AlcornLifting BlogsLil Miss JayMechaShockwaveScene kidsSocial Justice WarriorsSophie LabelleSpecial SnowflakesTom PrestonTumbearsVadeRacistsgettingfired

Tumblr Memes

Assigned MaleAyy lmaoCheeky Nando'sDogeEveryday Sexism ProjectGen ZedHufflepuffIt was my privilegeLuigi's Death StareSocial Justice SallyTumblr PanelsWhat is Air

Tumblr Drama

2012 GNAA Tumblr RuinAbleismDashconDear Cis PeopleDerpy HoovesFake SchizophreniaIndependence Day InvasionJosh MacedoNerdy Fandom Gateway TheoryOperation OverlordPatriarchyPersonal PronounsPrincess MolestiaSJWikiThe Great /pol/ Social Justice Raid of 2013Valentine's Day Massacre

Columbiners is part of a series on Columbine
[All jocks stand up!NBK]
Columbineflower.png Columbine:

ColumbineEric Harris and Dylan KleboldSuper Columbine Massacre RPGDo you believe in godColumbine CopycatsColumbine GalleryColumbiners

Admirers

TheAmazingAtheistBrooke Higgins and Sienna JohnsonCho Seung-HuiIchverbotAlex HribalJaylen FrybergKimveer GillRandy Robert StairRyan SchallenbergerRobert Butler Jr.Pekka-Eric AuvinenAdam LanzaJeff WeiseDillon CosseyAsa CoonNghtmrchld26Lindsay Kantha SouvannarathSebastian BosseTim KretschmerLynn AnnYou

Locations:

ColoradoUnited StatesSchoolSuburbs

Related:

DoomPolice BrutalityPostalSchool ShootingMass ShootingVideo gamesTrenchcoatMarilyn MansonKMFDMRammsteinGothConcerned MotherNewgroundsRyan LambournSchool Shooter: North American Tour 2012The MatrixSouth ParkMichael MooreQuentin Tarantino1990sJack ThompsonGun control

Featured article April 20 & 21, 2017
Preceded by
Battle of Berkeley
Columbiners Succeeded by
Steve Stephens