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Comic

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Literature for children and geeks. If you get stuck on the words, you can always just look at the pictures and they might even help you work out what's going on. If you're really lucky there might even be pictures of tits.

Contents

Newspaper comics

Newspaper comics are the lowest form of comics, even in Bizarro World. Most of them are "funny", hence the term "funny pages." In fact, some are so funny that they're unfunny. Such is quantum physics. Newspaper comics were born at least a hundred years ago to sell newspapers. Back then, most people couldn't read and written news was worthless to them. So publishers tried to make newspapers taste delicious. One day, while experimenting with flavored ink, a horrible mongoloid child was created. This child became "Yellow Boy", a delightful racist caricature who terrorized the country. Many other beady eyed creatures were begotting, most of them horribly un-PC. The people loved these colorful and tasty stories. But some time the magic died, and now the comics are just around to keep old people from complaining.

What the fuck Woody?

Superhero comics

The sorry truth.

Superhero comics come in colorful shrink-wrapped books. Nobody knows what's actually inside these books, because taking off the shrinkwrap would destroy the collector value of the books. They are kept hidden away as saving bonds. Comic book fans are also worth mentioning, as they are likely the most easily offended kinds of nerd you can piss off with kicks by telling they that they're just American Weeaboo Comic nerds like their Nip worshiping counterparts, only with even less of a dick size and ego to spare. Also, don't forget worth mentioning that Marval or DC has done nothing but produce borderline Rule 34 and Guro, that Comics can't even show tits or vag without wet tshirts or overt fanservice without getting the morality squad's attention because they aren't superior manga, and have even less original content and creativity that what even the worst of mango artese in Nipland can best by just sleeping in, playing video gaems and splashing their cum/vag juice all over a paper and turning it in. Also, don't forget to mention that their god of comics, Stan Lee, has turned to the dark side and has literally gone weeaboo to create a superior manga than work on fucktarded 50 year old canonized fanfiction. Also don't forget to tell them that no one fucking cares about his literary thesis on Magneto's Helmet Design Continuity, and that Marval's only achievement in the last 10 years was paring up with Nips to create a video game for their fans that they only get shit of the residuals. Oh, and no one gives a fuck about DC. Oh, and that there are no girls that like Comics. At all. And that there are only girls that like teh animu more than male catered gay spandex fighting.

The only superhero worth taking the wrapper off his comic is Spider Jerusalem from Transmetropolitan, because unlike most other superheroes who spend the twenty-two pages (minus advertisements, those lazy bastards) flying around in homoerotic undergarments and saving people from whatever they happened to be asking for at the time, Jerusalem is seen throughout his comic chain-smoking, eating the eyes of endangered species as a snack, writing his weekly newspaper column from the tops of strip clubs while half-human aliens riot against the police below, doing drugs, making Catholic priests vomit for eavesdropping on him, and shooting the President of the United States with his bowel disruptor. His only negative aspects of his badassery is that he's basically a chain-smoking ripoff of Deadpool, was created by a Brit, and is based upon Hunter S. Thompson, who became an hero.

Manga

Manga is for fucktarded weeaboos who spend all day inside fapping to Naruto. It features bad translation into English by the Chinese communists where they're mouths don't even correspond to the words, fucked up one-liners that 13 year old boys think are SUPAR KEWL and eyes that are big enough to be seen from space. The normal person who watches manga is a fat fuck with less friends then a /b/tard, which is almost impossible since /b/tards had no friends in the first place. Nerds think manga is ubar kewl and frequently wish that they were characters in a manga. They sometimes even dress up as manga characters, but most of them take to drawing really manga, posting it on DeviantART and then when people post comments saying how KAWAII ^__________^';! it is they believe that they are THE BEST and get plane tickets on the next flight to japan, believing that they can actually draw. There's also hentai, which is manga except with moar bewbs. It's slightly less retarded, as you get to laugh at how horrible the animation is and how easily that tiny moaning chick let herself get raped.

Other Comics

There are also other comics, that are kind of not important, that "sophisticated" people read. These include stuff like Harvey Pekar's American Splendor, Herge's Tintin, Chick Tracts, the works of Robert Crumb, and...OH SHIT, forget it. The people who read and make these comics are all probably on drugs or just really lame.

Internet comics

See Webcomics

Gallery

A Cornucopia Of Comics About missing Pics

See Also

Well?
:3

Comic is part of a series on:
Comic Books

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