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Conquer Online

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A Conquer Circle Jerk

Conquer Online (henceforth referred to as Conqueer Online) is a free MMORPG games that looks like Diablo 2. The game is run by TQ Digital aka dirty asian niggers.

Conquer Overview

  • The game's PK(player killing) system is shit; this means that you can fuck niggers up as long as it isn't a noobie thats like lvl 10 or some shit (no reason for anyone to be that level). Of course to do this you must the chinese needle dicks dick.
  • To fuck the game up even more PKing will give you "consequences". For killing 1 fag you get 10 pk points you are given PK points whenever you kill someone, 10 for killing someone not enemied to your guild or on your enemy list, 5 for killing someone that is on your enemy list, and 3 for killing an enemy guild member. If you go over 30 PK Points your name goes red and suddenly everyone is out to rape you in the ass for your equipment, as it can now drop. Going over 100 PK Points will send you to jail upon death, after which you need to wait around until you lose your PK points or bribe the Guard there with DragonBalls.
  • In order to make your shitty gear epix itams you must upgrade it with DragonBalls/DBs. You can get DBs by winning the typically one-sided guildwar (which is nothing more than beating a pole), random drops (once every blue moon), or of course, from buying them from the money hungry chinese needle dicks.
  • You can mine for shittier versions of good shit you can buy with real cash; Of course this means you'll be killed every 15 minutes by a dirty sand nigger looking for lulz.
  • You can get married in this game.........'nuff said its fucking gay

There are 8 classes in the game: Aimbotters (pretty cool guys as long as your not arabic), Warrior, Trojan, Fire Taoist, Water Taoist Archer and Ninja and soon to join is the motherfucking monk. Warrior isn't really a class as it's just a big sign on your head screaming "I suck cock NOOB" since it sucks cock.

Diablo 2? Looks like it, but isn't......

TL;DR it costs real money to actually win. FGT!!!

Conquer Online Hacks a.k.a proxies

Old hacks that have a place in old fags hearts - assuming they have one: BJX Bot (don't ask what the shit means), CIDProxy, 5Bot, QOProxy, JProxy, SirHooks, CO-Mimic, ScriptVessel previously known as COPartner

Currently "hip" hacks: COFarmer and COGenious and AlchemyProxy

Classes

Aimbotters

The most pre-dominant class in the game. Trojans and warriors are a sub-class of aimbotters. 98% of Trojans are aimbotters. Most choose this class when they fail at life or just don't give a shit, and therefore feel like trollin some fags that prefer to play "legit".

They are all basement dwellers and commonly share accounts so the lulz can be created round-the-clock.

One of the Conqueers ^.^PaulinhA_157 in all his glory
Insulting the conqueers is not allowed!!!!1
Baby Icey. One of the forum mods and also a fat ass.
MySpace is popular with the Conqueers
What most people use in CO..

Archers

The fastest levelers in the game. After reaching level 70 or so, you can power level lazy beginners for Virtue Points (They can be traded in for Meteors, more on this later). They can learn Scatter which hits all monsters in the area, it pisses of all other classes because they can't do it especially when you combine this with Fly... yes they can fly, too. You might think this would be a good choice, but Archers are a SUPPORT CLASS. A Trojan 10 levels lower then you can kill you. Since they can fly, however, they can be nothing more than annoying faggots since their class gets owned when a Trojan farts next to them.

Trojans

A basic fighter, they would be more interesting if they were more then Scent Sword (stupid line range attack). The game designers screwed up the jumping physics, so small female Trojans jump more quickly. If you want to be able to kill ANYTHING, you NEED to be a Trojan. Despite the fact their armor was clearly designed while the devs were drunk on gay fuel. ogok03, that can be found in server Phoenix is the strongest Archer and the most handsome man in Conquer Online. It's a shame he's also a cocksmoking fag, who absolutely loves it in the ass.

Taoists

This class branches out into water and fire. Fires Taoists are all right but they're not that interesting, seeing as they use Tornado ALL THE TIME, even though they have about a dozen of spells. They're kind of a support class, but they can defend themselves. Water Taoists are useless in a fight, they're only good for healing and reviving. If you see a Water Taoist, he/she is most likely with an Archer, like leech; Water Taoists are definitely a support class. Taos are currently the weirdest class in the game. The devs thought it would be a good idea to let Taos equip items with NO REQUIREMENTS ON THEIRS. Where other classes need to put STR or DEX, taos get away without, thus allowing them to soup up insane amounts of HP. WHERE IS THE LOGIC IN THAT?

Warriors

Weak Trojans, They have shields and...yeah. Anyone with a Warrior is a noob.


Ninja

As of december 2008, a new class has been introduced to the game; Ninja. they are said to have devastating attacks but they are a useless class as in this bunny hopping game you are not going to melee hit anyone unless they lag. this is one of many shit TQ has recently introduced into the game to bleed every penny from any idiot that has never heard of the word conned

Things to do on Conqueer

  • Mining: The LONGEST, MOST BORING TASK EVAR.
  • Go to the Training Grounds: Since leveling takes forever, you can go there to level slowly while away from your computer.
  • Level: Pretty boring, if you're lucky you'll find a Meteor. Someone will probably loot it though.
  • Get Power Leveled: If you're lazy (everyone in this fucking game is), you can ask an Archer to level you. EVERYONE does this with a Water Taoist as their first class since they are lazy faggots too busy fapping off to Pokemans pr0n.
  • Bot: Mostly everyone bots, especially for mining. If you get caught you can buy your way out with DragonBalls, c what teh admins did thar?

DragonBalls and Meteors

DragonBalls are needed for everything. They can be bought for real money, which is ridiculous because it's basically like buying your way through the game, which defeats the purpose of playing it. Buying Dragonballs off the TQ website is basically like performing buttsecks on the TQ staff. Or you can find a dragonball, which is absolutely impossible. If by any chance, you find one of these, you will encounter OMFGG A DRAGONBALL!1!!1one! And get instantly hunted down and raped by 40 year basement dwellers and 13 year old bois, trying to steal your Dragonball for teh lulz. Meteors are more common, and 1 DragonBall = 100 Meteors for some reason.

The Economy

The Conqueer Economy is fucked up. Because items and gold keep coming and coming, inflation is everywhere. Then if that's not bad enough, people buy DragonBalls and sell them for millions of gold pieces. It's a never-ending cycle where money is practically worthless.

Admins

The admins on this game deserve special mention for being even LAZIER than whatever you can think of. Conquer admins are guaranteed to be worse (if not, worst), sitting around collecting DragonBall sale money and giving special favors to those who buy them; Such as allowing them immunity to banning, ability to bot, and other such Faggotry.
Usual talk subject on the game

They "update" the game by adding servers EVERY WEEK, yet can't seem to get a new one for their BBS. But for some reason, they keep adding servers while older ones are empty. Each server is supposed to have it's own admin, but they never login. If an admin logs in, it's most likely to delete the stuff of someone who bought DragonBalls with a fraudulent Credit Card.

Examples of conqueer's crying because their account got banned (also note how retarded the reason for banning is)

People who play Conqueer

  • 5090% Egyptian - This is the majority of the population on Conqueer Online since about 2007. They usually say "ty men" when they get pawned or laugh like "hhhhhhhhhhhh" in the forums. In the market they usually spam "am ned sobr amur 1sok men ok or no?" and when they want to get power leveled they say "man tem 99% man, ok or no?"
  • 4% Asia
  • 3% Caucasian
  • 2% basement dwellers from other random areas
  • 1% David Lucas the Samurai


All 100% fag

Teh Hack

On August 26th 2007, a random person gained access to the GM panel. People from servers were banned left and right without warning at random. Much lulz followed.

Around late July to mid August 2007 the owners of conquer implemented a quest called, ‘the mystic merchant quest’. This let players to gain free experience to level faster. A user of the ‘elite pvp’ forums managed to hack the game which allowed them to gain unlimited experience- The months it took to reach the max level of 130 was achieved in merely 20 minutes. This caused a huge banning across all servers, as the retard owners of conquer are too stupid to secure their game. You could not expect them to ban the right accounts so this lead to many innocent players, people who did not buy dragon balls with real cash, have years of their life playing 24/7 wasted as their account became permanently banned. like the GAY FUCKS THEY ARE

The Community

As every other online game, this money vacuum has something people might refer to as a 'community', although the people in this 'community' rarely say anything helpful and don't even have half a braincell. Since this game has been spawned by the Chaiknees, it's a blatant effort to rob American teenagers' of their senses of motivation and intelligence. But all is not lost! Most players are intellectuals who name their characters after japanese ninja, clever plays on words or immortal ideas! The fierce top players' names alone strike fear into the hearts of their foes!

For instance:

  • Ghost~Rider
  • Dragon_slayer2
  • ~~Badass~~
  • -UnknowN-
  • Warpinator!
  • Catt
  • Draqu
  • Sesshoumaru
  • DaddyDeuceDogg
  • demon_dark


The complete list is here for those who care: http://co.rank.91.com/enzf

The Forum

This is the favorite place the Conqueer crackheads troll at, they have unique replies like 'lol owned' and of course have nothing else to do than make fun of the newbies. Thinking that they are superior to others by posting pointless crap make them feel good in the sad little life they have in their basement. While entering this forum you have a great amount of places to go to:

Announcement

Here is where the made-up Conqueer 'GameMasters' post 'updates'; you will rarely see those because the GM's are busy playing World of Warcraft and enlarging their amount of gold sellers to make even more money out of game crackheads. If you ever see an update that actually does something good, then you are dreaming.

FAQ (TroubleShooting)

Nobody actually gives a damn about this part of the forum. Why help retards that don't even understand the difference between their left and right hand?

Bugs

This place has everything TQ needs to do to make their money machine an even bigger money machine, but because they are too lazy and busy playing other games all this goes to waste and people will continue purchasing highly overpriced pixels to get some damn 'customer service' in this game, which is highly unlikely unless you spend around $500 per month.

Community Forum

Ah yes, the biggest collection of idiots and turds come together here to give each other a nice amount of buttsex while flaming each other. There are a few simple rules you might want to follow or else you will get flamed:

  • Certain people are gods, they usually have a high postcount and they have to be admired and cocksucked, if you do not do this they will flame you with about 5 words and say something like 'get a life', 'haha owned' or the 'you fail' reply. Also, these people with 10000+ posts like to point out OTHER people take the Forums all too seriously.
  • Do not talk positive about BRs, VNs, Egyptians or Romanians. You shall be slaughtered for saying so by the hungry crowd of cocksuckers this game has.
  • Do make fun of the dead, do not defend them, because of course doing your most favorite thing in the world makes you a shitstain. Knowing that these people will probably die while masturbating on anime p0rn, people dying while doing what they love makes them fucktards.
  • And a lot more, but just by acting like you don't care and are better than others, these mindless zombies will take you into their cult of racism and buttsex/cocksucking.
Examples of butt sexing and flaming on conquer

Chitchat-Matchup

Here you can see all the listed servers and their sad amount of players. You will find a lot of dramas on servers and a lot of whining and cocksucking, rarely you see a thread without flaming or bitching and of course these people have nothing better to do then prove that they are indeed better then you in an online game.

Favorite subjects are:

  • I reached 130! Now I'm on my way up to level 137 (If it were by Training Grounds or not)
  • xxx is a fagged because <Enter reason>.
  • Oh my god you are hot have buttsex.
  • I am quitting this game, for 2 days but don't tell, please tell me you care about me because I have no friends.
  • More useless spam with 12 year olds trying to cyber with 20-40 year olds on MSN/Skype.

Newcomer's Harbor

My, what a Harbor it is. It is your run-of-the-mill noob gathering- lots of crying and normal questions.

Tips and Hints

Why go here if you can just download hacks and bots? No reason to look here for tips because the latter two will get you a lot further then this.

Suggestions

Post them. Wait 1 week. Spam the shit out of everything because no one responded/liked your idea. ???? Profit

Off Topic

Another well respected place for no-life turdlovers, this place does it's name justice, there is absolutely no one with half a braincell in this place. The biggest amount of crap is posted here and will make you cry if you think about the fact that real people posted this crap. Between the sick amount of garbage you find here, you can sometimes find something that might be interesting, but that is as rare as a DragonBall drop.

Things to remember

  • Mods abuse their powers because they are holier than you, wealthier than you, better than you, cooler than you, more intelligent than you, and most importantly they are God.
  • Flame everyone shitless because your postcount determines the size of your dick, if you don't have a dick it determines how attractive you are to people that do have a dick.
  • Lots of kiddies roam around like in every other game, but this place has the biggest amount of camwhores ever seen in existence; do not look into 'post picture' threads if you do not like Asian girls (between the age of 10-20, exceptions are there) who try to get people to say they are cute and hot and later try to manipulate them into giving them loot.

WILL THIS EVER END?

The niggers that own the game had their binary servers leaked so now every stupid jew and their grandmother can host a server. Most of these dirty jews take "donations". When they say donations they really mean I'll sell you some in game shit that you can lose at any given time simply because I feel like it, for your real life cash.


Froglok.jpg
Conquer Online is part of a series on MMORPGs. [Gratz!Ding!]
Forerunners:

AngbandDiabloDungeons & DragonsFATALRagnarokRogueWarhammer 40,000

MMORPGs:

Age of ConanAnarchy OnlineCity of HeroesConquer OnlineDark Age of CamelotDarkfallEarth EternalEVE OnlineEverQuestEverQuest IIFinal Fantasy XIFinal Fantasy XIVFree RealmsHero OnlineLifeMapleStoryMinecraftPangyaRagnarok OnlineRuneScapeRuby Dragon EntertainmentSilkroad OnlineStar Wars: The Old RepublicTabula RasaToontownUltima OnlineWikipediaWorld of WarcraftWWII Online

Semi-MMORPGs:

Diablo IIDiablo IIIEndless OnlineFurcadiaGaia OnlineGraalGuild WarsKingdom of LoathingProgress QuestSecond LifeTibiaWar Thunder

Developers:

Blizzard EntertainmentJagexSony Online Entertainment

Related Drama:

Baby GraceAtheneBattle.net ForumsBloodraptorCloudsongDarknestDurthasEQ2FlamesGoon SquadHelmJammnoJennichelleJRangerLeeroy JenkinsMaartenMurlocOwlsamanthaRick Astley ForumShawn WoolleySilver CircleZezima

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Conquer Online is part of a series on

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