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From Encyclopedia Dramatica
Crabcore (a.k.a. nut dusting) is a some gay-ass stance while playing some shitty electronicore/post-hardcore/melodic metalcore/christcore music that is now in the mainstream thanks to christfags Attack Attack!. It entails after playing over 9000 breakdowns, screaming and growling like a castrated prisoner and wailing your guitar up and down like a kid on assburgers attempting to air guitar and crouching like a crab at the same time. The genre was pushed into the mainstream when the band decided their old version music video of "Stick Stickly" was not br00t4l enough to appeal to the metalhead fans which apparently the band thought they had many of them.
The video that started it all.
Be warned, though, this video contains a high amount of AIDS.
There is actually documented evidence from thousands of years from the Japanese Taiko drummers developed these crab-like techniques and well that figures almost anything from Japan is practically fucked up in some type of way, and this Crab dance techniques they developed is no exception to the rule. After days of people making up the genre, and the "Stick Stickly" video was spreading around in some music forums there are actually people srsly debating it whether or not it's really a genre, it has cause a shitstorm so much that... let the quotes speak for itself:
How Crabcore Is Done
Chiefly among the crabcore musician's repertoire of stylistic gestures is the crabwalk itself, from which the genre's title is derived. The crabwalk is identified by the player's extremely low stance, wherein both feet are set apart from one another as far as possible, while still allowing the player to maintain at least a 90 degree bend in his knees. While in the crab stance, the player then purposefully transfers the weight of his upper body between each leg, achieving a swaying motion intended to have a hypnotic, nauseating and baffling effect on audience members\
- BONUS TIP*: Try your best to imitate a fat chick taking a piss in the forest.
Other moves available to crabcore players include:
- The "Alaskan King"
- The "Peanut Skinner"
- The "Jørgenslam"
- The "Dirty Hamper"
- The "Pestal Press"
- The "Arch Carrier"
- The "Dungeness Dip"
- The "Cock Duster"
- The "Squirrel"
- The "OrBenetiko v.II"
- The "Mothafuck'n Crabadab"
Notable Crabcore Bands
- Attack Attack! - The only band that has successfully mixed shitty auto-tune vocals, techno breakdowns, and Crabcore moves with their music video "Stick Stickly"; Crabcore's very own "Smells Like Teen Spirit".
- Confide - Now that Crabcore has entered the mainstream, bands like Confide are taking the genre into new, uncharted waters. "Prog-Crab", if you will. Like Crabcore, Prog-Crab still sports the douchey hairstyles and purposefully-ripped-spray-on-jeans, but unlike Crabcore, has the drummer perform the clean vocals, and not the guitarist. Also see their take on the crab stance (starts around 2:58 if you wanna skip the aural diarrhea), which can be interpreted as a reaction to Attack Attack!'s more straight forward approach.
- This Romantic Tragedy - A Ripoff of Attack Attack! that has 3 vocalists going on at the same time, interestingly enough their music video was directed by the same fag as Stick Stickly.
- Abandon All Ships - A guido Attack Attack! clone, though featuring a higher concentration of gay Euro Disco to hardxcore breakdown and a higher budget music video than Stick Stickly. Money well spent, clearly.
- Our Crustaceous Nemesis - Stupid faggot crabcore band arising in Plantation, Florida that thinks it's cool to name their new demo "We've got crabs!! DO YOU?" Their myspace is http://www.myspace.com/ourcrustaceousnemesis or just call them here and tell them what you think. Augie - 954-803-8767 Cam - 754-422-7691.
- Shibo - A underground Russian band that laid the foundation for Crabcore..figures since Russia is a boring ass place with nothing to do.
- HELIA - Italian crabcore with more pizza and a fat vocalist. Delete the guitar parts and you got Tiesto!
- Bionic Ghost Kids - From Germany! The latest bastardisation of Krautrock which made Rammstein facepalm. 90% less guitar playing, more dance autotune. Song 'Wrapped in Plastic' is about condoms.
Attack Attack! The band that started this shit off is trying to get away from their crabcore roots and play metalcore, even though they just released a new shirt with the words "Crab Fucking Core" on the front in huge bold letters.
On 19th October 2010, Attack Attack! decided to troll the fans of two faggot christcore bands; Martyr Defiled and Annotations of an autopsy by saying they are ignorant to Christ. This caused massive butthurt and Attack Attack!'s Facebook fan page was then immediately raped by raged fans, and still continues to this moment.
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|Crabcore||About missing Pics|
- Crabcore Article - on Buddyhead
- Crabcore Article
- Another Crabcore Article
- Crabcore question on Yahoo! Answers
- Question about Crab core temperature This seems useful if you have a pet Crab!
- Some blog about Crabcore
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