Crysis 2

From Encyclopedia Dramatica
Jump to: navigation, search
The scrapped Beta Box Cover
The best version.

Crysis 2 is the follow-up to the masterpiece Crysis, which surprisingly is much worse than that. The fags at Crytek thought it would be much better to remove everything that made the first game somewhat tolerable, like awesome controls, awesome graphics, quicksave/load function and great A.I.

Storyline[edit]

The world has been taken over by the aliens, which look nothing like the ones in the first game, and now you're going to rape their asses in New York. You're playing as Alcatraz, the "Asshole in the Suit" who gets orders he has to complete, kicking some ass and then gets more orders. The problem is that he has to do that with consolized controls and a shitty A.I. that stands in his way, making his journey to the shitty game ending a real pain in the ass.
At the beginning Prophet dies to make sure there is nothing left that makes you think you're playing a sequel to Crysis and then you're killing aliens, killing aliens, swinging your cock and kill more aliens. There's some other bullshit happening but nobody gives a fuck about that. At the end you're confonted with a spammed line of heavy alien soldiers to make the finale look harder than it really is and then you win.
After you've completed this painful trip you can now be happy that there hopefully won't be a sequel Crysis 3 is to be released February 2013!

Multiplayer[edit]

Haven't we seen this already?

Because everyone else did, Crytek also decided to make the multiplayer for Crysis 2 a Call of Duty rip-off by stealing its system of killstreaks and other shit. However, their plan to get most of the 12 year old COD players to play Crysis 2 failed because even those retards have the ability to differentiate between bullshit and extreme bullshit.
The Crysis 2 multiplayer servers are only allowed for a maximum player count of 16 players, which is fail because every no life expert knows that a multiplayer is only fun on 128 player servers.
Till the patch to the 1.2 version of Crysis 2 everyone was able to play on the servers, even people who were clever enough to download the game illegally, showing the massive fail EA and Crytek are made of.
In 2012, the only ones that are still playing the multiplayer of this game are cheaters that can't get banned because of missing anti-cheat systems and admin kick functions, 12 year olds that are raging about the hackers, ear raping you to death, and Santa Claus.

The DX11 Drama[edit]

Shortly after the game was released, many gamers were pissed about the missing DX10 and DX11 support of Crysis 2. They all think that better graphics can make Crysis 2 a much better game, even though the game itself is already a steaming pile of shit.
On the 27th March 2011, rumors that a DX11 patch is coming spread out and many threads that had to do with these were baleted instantly by the butthurted folks at Crytek.

However the community won and on the 29th June 2011 a DX11 patch was released making changes only fags would care about. The game still sucks balls after all.



So the whole time you BAAAWed just for these little changes?

Gallery[edit]

[Collapse GalleryExpand Gallery]

Videos[edit]

The new engine can determine how lonely you are.

Related Articles[edit]

Portal games.png

Crysis 2 is part of a series on

Gaming

Visit the Gaming Portal for complete coverage.