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Whore

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Info non-talk.png Protip: All women are whores
The British Broadcasting Corporation declared 2014 the Year of the Whores.
We are what we eat.jpg

A Whore (also known as a Slut, or in modern slang, thot) is a woman who spends more time with a dick inside her than making sammiches. While they usually demand payment for their services (usually money, drugs, items from their wishlist, or attention), it's wise to remember the words of a much wiser man in that you are not paying them for sex but rather for them to leave when you are through because whores love the cock for itself and like any woman, they think you want to set up a house with them and listen as they go on endlessly about their hair or take them and their 6 kids in because you paid them a little bit of attention. Further more, thanks to the bullshit of feminists, every other girl drinks semen for breakfast, an ironic feat given that they all say that they'd only fuck porn-stars, the richest 10%, Alexander Skarsgard, and each other.

Frank Miller

If you followed one of the many piped refrences that accurately reference Frank Miller as a whore, all you need to know is that his best work is Batman Return of the Dark Knight. His art style looks a lot like something you'd be made to do in a Design 1 class with black contact paper. He is hated by women because every woman he ever created is a whore except Carrie Kelly and that didn't last long. Feminists accuse him of being a whore who is only capable of catering to typical male fantasies as a writer. Called a whore by fans because, if something he has done is popular - you can expect at least 100 sequals.

Characteristics

This is a prostitute, not a whore. She wants money for more blow.

Whores come in all shapes and sizes, from the underdeveloped anorexic crackhead to the morbidly obese who are able to shit out eight wastes of human resources in one go.

  • Whores are prone to many of the same difficulties as prostitutes, namely STDs, powdered pimp slaps, mesothelioma, rickets and threats of pwnage from angry cheated-on girlfriends. In addition, while prostitutes have a steady income stream, whores are usually broke.
  • Whores wear too much makeup and, unless they're goth, pay for too many visits to the tanning bed.
  • Most whores are unlikely to make it past high school, but the regular whore is usually shameless enough to talk some guy into giving her a job or a home by giving him a blowjob (and then not doing any work). But because men tire of whores quickly, they have to start all over again six months later.
  • Loose, sagging vagina is a dead giveaway. If a woman can shoplift a toaster in her panties, she's definitely a whore.
  • Whores are often fuckable in their teens but all of the STDs and unplanned pregnancies will catch up with them by their early 20s.
  • In addition to semen, whores can survive off beer and other cheap alcoholic products because said beverages can often lead to "massive pounding" which is what all whores ultimately crave.
  • Sporting tacky tattoos in the pelvic region, upper thigh, or lower back. If a girl in a bar asks you if you want to see her "tats" and there is no visible ink on her scantily-clad body, run away as fast as possible.

Types

Attention whore: Will suck cock for attention.

  • 16-year-old girl: Usually pretending to be 20, to avoid getting banned from porn sites, will suck cock because their fathers never loved them (often because their whore mothers divorced them when they got itchy for new cock), they are lonely, and need penises inside of them to get used to their future careers as prostitutes.
  • Drama whore: Will suck cock and become a lolcow for attention.
  • Wikislut: Will suck cock and edit TOW for attention.
  • Scenewhore: Will suck cock because their friends are doing it (i.e. to get her friends' attention).
  • Skank: Will suck cock if no one else is doing it (i.e. to be notable, as in, for attention).

Camwhore: Will suck cock for items on their wishlists. Cocktease: Will say that she doesn't suck cock only to be lusted after more and have more cocks to suck. Cockteases are the biggest gold-digging sluts of all, as "saving their virginity for marriage" merely means commercializing it. Comment whore: Will suck cock for thumbs ups.

Crackwhore: Will suck cock for drugs, usually crack, hence the name.

Fat whore: Will suck cock for food, but not homeless unless it's Girlvinyl. If Girlvinyl then she will suck your dick and eat your ass for a meal and a couch to sleep on.

Hotard: (Ho + tard) Will suck cock because they're stupid. Kind of a mystery why this is a category since all women are stupid and suck cock.

prostadude: Remember that famale whore you picked up for $10 and you were so drunk you were convinced it was a chick until you went for a fingerdive and there was a dick in the way? Not to be confused with Thai ladyboys. Prostadudes look just as bad as that time you caught your dad in your mom's pant suit, beard and all.

Jewish Whore Surprisingly, no money is exchanged. They just like getting a wet spot from watching a guy beg for it for 3 hours. Also, EVERY FUCKING WOMAN ON THE PLANET.

Prostatot: Will suck cock because their daddy taught them and their mommy says they need the money.

Sellout: Will suck cock for money (see: porn star, prostitute, and stripper)

Tranny Whore: Will suck cock for hormones (see: Robert Wayne Stiles, Chris Chan or Doopie DoOver).

Tara Strong see sellout but can also be a wrinkeled, old has been b list actor or voice actor that at their 50th birthday get fake boobs and a face lift to try to show themselves as relevant and worthy of A list by promising sexual favors to autistic man children. They achieve real patheticness by making inane comments like how someone, probably an old Tuskegee Airman blind from syphilis confused them with a younger actor like Chloe Grace Moretz. It should be noted, even at his craziest, Tom Cruise has never gotten as pathetic as this. Mel Gibson on the other hand. . .

Man Whore: See video on the right

Gypsy Hooker Whore: Will suck cock for compliments, asspats, and attention. Enormous noses. Has a penchant for making shit jewellery, wearing awful dresses and turning up at fetes.

Drunk Whore: Drunk whores are usually better looking than what you can normally get, if it's a girl they're already out of your league and will have sex with anyone that's stupid enough to take them home but when they wake up and realize you are not very attractive or they notice your My Little Pony collection on your wall or your pink anime edition fleshlight on the nightstand they will claim rape and have you charged unless you buy them about 3 grams of that sweet, seeet china white or hand over your medicine cabinet if you have opiates.

Your mom She has the virginity of every boy in a 10 mile radius from your house and when you go to sleep she and your sister scissor madly on the living room floor. Much like all the women you will meet, she won't touch you because of one excuse or another. Incest, yeah. That one will work.

Trolling whores

The appropriate response towards meeting a whore

Be warned that the average whore can't tell a computer from a microwave oven, so it's unlikely she'll ever be able to figure out how to get online to refute you. Contact her friends, tell them about it and they'll show her.

Gallery

[Collapse GalleryExpand Gallery]

Quotes

   
 
Request: Okay, I’m tired of beating around the bush. I’m a beautiful (spectacularly beautiful) 25 year old girl. I’m articulate and classy. I’m not from New York . I’m looking to get married to a guy who makes at least half a million a year. I know how that sounds, but keep in mind that a million a year is middle class in New York City, so I don’t think I’m overreaching at all.
 

 
 

"Wife material" girl says it all

   
 
Response 1: Simply put, he says, she’s offering her looks and he’s offering his money. “But here’s the rub, your looks will fade and my money will likely continue into perpetuity…in fact, it is very likely that my income increases but it is an absolute certainty that you won’t be getting any more beautiful!” She is, he says, “a depreciating asset” and adds that “a deal that makes sense is dating, not marriage.”
 

 
 

Moral: Date, don't marry.

   
 
Response 2:Don't spend extra on designer clothing (unless the piece is very special, pretty, or makes you look fantastic).
 

 
 

—Tips on wasting money from "How to Marry a Man with Money"

   
 
Response 3: i would love 2 marry a rich man lol not that i’m a gold digger or anything.
 

 
 

If you don't like a word, redefine it!

   
 
Response 4: Does any woman ever set out to date a poor man? Of course not!
 

 
 

—Marriage is "sacred" or a sophisticated con game

   
 
Hey /b/, My name is Khadija. I've got this huge problem. I can't seem to keep my legs closed. It's like every time a guy walks by, I have to pull down his pants and suck him off. It's horrible! I've had sex with many guys...I'm not sure how much longer my vag can take it. /b/ is there anything I can do about this? I may be a ticking AIDS bomb waiting to explode. They won't even let me into pools! When ever I get angry my vagina grows huge and pink like the incredible vaginal hulk!
 

 
 

—Unrelated Copypasta










See Also

A typical female fantasy

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