—United Nations, on cyber violence
Cyberviolence is the latest in a series of new Internet crimes, designed to protect special snowflakes from the typed words of Internet critics. Zoe Quinn and Anita Sarkeesian have claimed cyberviolence is a "cottage industry", fully aware that they are the only people who profit from Internet harassment. The perpetrators of cyberviolence are only in it for the lulz, meanwhile the Patreon accounts of the tireless defenders of Internet feminism swell with thousands of dollars, keeping them safe from the dangerous typed words of heterosexual CIS shitlords.
Under the new guidelines, even such things as blasphemy, trolling, advocacy of genocide and suicide and other things that were perfectly acceptable, are now considered equivalent to IRL violence such as rape and murder. In less enlightened times, the only solution would be to either buy a dog or call the cyberpolice.
—The UN report on Cyber violence, dictating the new definition of violence
Zoe Quinn and Anita Sarkeesian stood before the United Nations and proudly presented the 70 page report wherein Anita unwittingly quoted Jack Thompson as a valid source, and relied heavily on a report by Lyndon LaRouche which claimed video games are tools of the devil, and Pokemon is turning children into "killing zombies". Within days, the report was analyzed by Internet commentators, who found numerous sourcing errors so hilarious that UNESCO ended up retracting the report.
The sourcing errors include (but are not limited to): blank sources, a source using itself as a source, debunked studies from 2000, sourcing an article by a man who believes video games are literally a tool of the devil and one guy linking to his own hard drive.
Some of you may be wondering why the UN would invite a con artist and a prostitute to give a speech. Well, Ban Ki Moon's (the former chairman of the UN) assistant's wife runs an SJW video game award where she gave out prizes to both Anita and Zoe.
How to deal with cyberviolence
If these methods fail, you could always try these alternative methods:
- The UN says cyberviolence is equivalent to physical violence
- >implying anyone took "the tech" from you
- ... one free of porn and free speech
- Censoring the web to save someone's feelings
Cyberviolence is part of a series on
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|Cyberviolence is part of a series on Language & Communication|
|Featured article October 11th & 12th, 2015|
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