Cynthia

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What? This article does not need any more fucking porn, not at all.
You can help by not adding anything, especially not fucking porn.
Behold the controversy!
Behold the voluptuous titties of the aforementioned controversy!
IC3 KR33M LUL (She wishes it were a penis.)


For the black person with a similar name, see Cynthia McKinney.


Cynthia is Nintendo's response to complaints posed by raging feminists in early 2007 that


   
 
Nintendo is aiding in the culmination of man's true desire to reestablish itself as the dominant sex
 

 
 

The aforementioned feminists insisted that the major characters in the plotline of every game produced by Nintendo are men, using examples such as The Mario Bros., Link, Kirby (asexual eunuch), Donkey Kong, Fox McCloud, Falco, Ness, Captain Falcon, and Samus Aran (a trap). They continued on to point out how all female characters in video games either played the role of a secondary/support character, villain, or "damsel in distress", and listed Krystal, Zelda, Peach, Daisy, as well as third party examples Amy Rose, Aeris, Mei Ling, and Sarah Kerrigan.

Nintendo CEO Satoru Iwata, realizing he would never be able to defeat feminists on a rampage, was forced to submit to their will or run the risk of legal difficulties. Equipping the sick fuck who created Pokémon with the news, Cynthia was created and inserted into the soon-to-be-released Pokemon: Diamond and Pearl as the champion of the Pokémon league. This was a major milestone in the feminist movement--Not only was a female character finally in a powerful yet non-villainous position in a Nintendo game, but the women could rejoice of their accomplishment!

Despite all this, Iwata managed to secretly troll them, as Cynthia is fucking useless for 95% of the game, showing up to tell you random shit you don't care about, and giving you nothing even slightly helpful, unlike the other champions. Commonly yells "YOU, THE TWELVE YEAR OLD, MUST SAVE EVERYONE WHILE I, THE AWESOME CHAMPION, DO FUCKING NOTHING!" near the end of the main story arc, then goes to sit at the pokemon league until you rape her in order to get the champion title.

The Results[edit]

Notice how the only rational comment receives a thumbs down.

Of course, Cynthia, forced into creation by whiny emo bitches, is, without a doubt, a whiny emo bitch. Wikipedians have agreed that her clothing can be described as "gothic lolita" (translation: black emo prostitute shit), after some debate over whether or not it was lingerie. Because we all know if she had the chance and the free will to do so she'd be off seducing men right now. All of her Pokemans are female, with the exception of her male Lucario, who would make a harem out of the rest of the party save the fact that all participants lack the necessary organs.

Some argue that Cynthia is the most challenging computer opponent in the series, possessing the highest-quality and most difficult artificial intelligence (AI) of any trainer in a Pokémon game to date and possibly everything. The validity of this statement is still disputed.

YouTubers have expressed their opinions on Cynthia through comments on various AMVs and other related videos. Some are in shock. Some are apathetic. Most are in a drunken stupor over her barely-visible, animated tits, which they pathetically dream they could hold and suckle, as well as her bright white face and long blonde hair. One such pathetic YouTube user has this to offer us on the matter:


   
 
*gasp* cynthia is the shit!!!!!!!! i worship this women!!!!!
 

 
 

— lash009

Clearly one's affection towards her is inversely proportional to one's intelligence.

A Movement on the Rise[edit]

Further reading and gathered information on the uprising. Scientists have determined it bears close relations to (and possibly was instigated by) the Women's Rights Movement.

The Bisexual Pedophile[edit]

Of course, Rule /34/ must be invoked, and let's just say....the results are not what you expect.

The fandom has produced what could be best described as....a Bisexual Pedophile, whom will fuck any shotacon or lolita she runs across. So far, it's been limited to the game PC's, but only time will tell when we'll see Ash get roped in by the pedo.

Brock, Pokemon's most womanizing male, however, will ignore her for some reason or another.

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†For all of you who avoid school like a heart attack, that means that if you fall in love with this whore, you're a dumbass. Dumbass.

See Also[edit]


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Cynthia is part of a series on

Gaming

Visit the Gaming Portal for complete coverage.

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Cynthia is part of a series on

Anime

Visit the Anime Portal for complete coverage.