Cynthia McKinney

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Cynthia McKinney is opposed to anti-semitism
Cynthia McKinney's new hairstyle

For the controversial Pokébitch of different race yet similar name, see Cynthia.

Cynthia McCunty is a black person who is presently running for President of the United States. Nominated by the Green Party, she is running on a platform of handouts for her fellow negroes, and some other hippie-jew shit.

Cynthia McKinney[edit]

Finally kicked out of the U.S. House of Representatives in January 2007, Cynthia McKinney is best known for starting shit, sucking up to Saudi oil princes, and generally being stupid.

The Shit She Started[edit]

Back in January 2006, McKinney was minding her own business and waltzing into the Longworth House Office Building like she owned the damn place. There's a metal detector by the door of that office building designed to prevent forks from being brought in unawares. Everyone has to go through the metal detector except for swanky elected representatives. Avoiding the metal detector is a congressional "perk", along with free blowjobs from the fattest male and female interns, and all they have to do to get by the metal detector is wear a pin that says "I'm a hot shit representative, asshole, so fuck you."

McKinney decided not to wear her pin one day, and waltzed past the metal detector like she still owned the place. A security guard who was troubled by this law-flouting said "Excuse me, ma'am, can you please go through the metal detector like everyone else? There was a fork threat earlier today, and we have to make sure you're not carrying any forks." In response, McKinney struck the security guard with a closed fist, also known as the Fathomless Ocean Palm. She was promptly escorted away for being uppity. McKinney then successfully played the Race Card, claiming she'd been accosted because of her skin's melanin content, not because she was breaking the law or anything like that.

The Democrats firmly responded by proceeding to put this Negress in her place.

American Blackout[edit]

Moar like American /b/lackout, amirite?

In this lulz film, McCuntey whines and bitches about how she and other informed, respectable black person have been deprived of their right to vote, which is guaranteed to them by teh fucking United States Constitution!!!!!!!11 The film discusses McKinney's pathetic defeat by another black person in the Georgia Primary due to crossover voting from Republicans who decided that some RIGHT WING WOLF IN NIGGAS' CLOTHING would be better to elect because she was slightly to the right of McKinney. According to the film, this perfectly democratic, legal tactic was actually OMG A RECREATION OF JIM CROW TEH CRACKS R TRYIN TO TAKE AWAY OUR WATRMELONZ ND FRIED CHIKINZ STOP TEH OPPRESSION!!!1 Seeing as the film is made by a perfectly unbiased filmmaker with no political agenda whatsoever, it should be taken with the same amount of credibility as other fine films with equally respectable and credible arguments.

[the film here and see teh oppression 4 yoself!!!!]

General Stupid Stuff She's Associated With[edit]

Cynthia McKinney's dad doesn't like Jews at all. No, sir, he does not. He's made remarks that Jews have purchased everyone on the planet, and then went on to spell the word "Jews" out loud in case people weren't clear to whom he was referring.

McKinney has claimed that she does not hate jews.

McKinney has also claimed that Albert Gore had an unspecified allergy to melanin.

2008 Presidential Campaign[edit]

After defeating Jesse Johnson, 2004 nominee for the Mountain Party, Kent Mesplay of California, environmentalist and CA Delegate to the Green National Committee and Some bitch no one's heard of who loves tech cloves, McCuntey was nominated by the Green Party to run for President of the United States. Although the Media will never say anything about McKinney because she couldn't win if she was running against a dead fucking rat, this technically makes her the SECOND BLACK NOMINEE FOR PRESIDENT OF TEH UNITED STATES THIS YEAR HOLY SHIT!!!!!!111one. However, because McKinney is not as charismatic as Barrack Obama, she will probably end up getting fewer votes than Ralph Nader LOL.

Cynthia McKinney
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