DEFCON

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The annual demographic of DEFCON
OMG, this slot machine at the Riviera has an IP!
Defcon 2005

DEFCON is the worlds largest h4x0r convention, held annually in Las Vegas, Nevada. Every year, script kiddies gather to pretend there is a 1337 underground ring of hacktivists, just like in that one movie with Angelina Jolie.

In reality, the size of the convention is its biggest downfall. The fact is, real hackers don't go to huge conventions; real hackers stay where they belong, the basement. There have been some lulz-worthy moments, though, and you can always count on delicious drama when you fill a hotel with angsty teenagers with identity problems.

DEFCON is also a retarded Steam game where you nuke the enemy base for the lulz.

Usual Activities at DEFCON[edit]

Among many of the intelectually charged events at DEFCON, some include:

  • Speeches, given to auditoriums filled with obese, pimply teenagers who breathe mainly through their mouths. The nature of these lectures usually consists of elitist reflections on 'Hacker Culture' and pointless 'How-Tos.
  • Competitions, in which contestants attempt to pwn each other by creating "viruses" in command prompt. Usually the winner is a cunning little shit who thought outside the box, surprising everyone with their stunning intellect.
  • Messing with stuff you aren't really supposed to, like the slot machines. This is dangerous, especially considering that casinos tend to actually take security a little more seriously than most hotels.
  • "Spot the Fed" bullshit, doesn't work because the Feds have dozens of undercover "informants" at every DEFCON. Some of whom actually work for the organizers.

DEFCON Pwns Reporter In 2007[edit]

Normally the convention is as dull as a shoe-box full of wood chips; but in 2007 DEFCON organizers were tipped off by some geek in NBC's IT department that Michelle Madigan, a reporter from Dateline, would be spying on them for a hit piece.

DEFCON organizers offered Madigan several opportunities to get a press pass — but the dumb bitch insisted on staying "under-cover". So, they outed her in front of the entire convention.

Lulz quickly ensued: if you listen closely at 1:22 you can hear retarded sheep beginning to cluster together. Like a shitball.

See Also[edit]



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DEFCON is part of a series on

Softwarez

Visit the Softwarez Portal for complete coverage.


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DEFCON is part of a series on Security Faggots

1337 h4x0rz

Captain CrunchCult of the Dead CowDavid L. SmithGary McKinnonGOBBLESHD MooreJeff MossKevin MitnickLance M. HavokRobert MorrisTheo de RaadtweevWoz


Try-Hards

2cashAnonOpsBrian SalcedoDshockerFearnorFry GuyGadi Evrong00nsHack This SiteHacking TeamhannJoanna RutkowskaJohn FieldJoseph CampLizard SquadLulzSecMark ZuckerbergMarshviperXMasters of DeceptionMichael LynnKrashedRavenr000tRyanSteve Gibsonth3j35t3rThe RegimeSabuZeekill


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Featured article August 1, 2009
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