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Darkspeeds

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Elson with a typical 9-year-old Ashworth fan.

Elson "Darkspeeds" Wong is a widely successful AZN-Australian comic artist, whose The Grand Ashworth Fortune is distributed across the world to approximately 200,000 readers monthly. He is currently working on the animated series of the comic Oh wait nobody reads it except a small group of devianTARTS who mistakenly think he's drawing their Sonic fan character again.

Elson "Darkspeeds" Wong has not been a significant contributor to internet drama due to nobody really giving a shit about his work besides his group of fans, but is notable for raging as soon as the quality of his comic is questioned.

Ashworth

"HOLY MOBIUS ASHWORTH, IS IT TIME FOR A CHILLI DOG?" Ashworth fans often forget that despite all appearances, most characters did not in fact hail from Sonic Adventure's Station Square.

Darkspeeds' main project of the last few years and LAUNCHPAD FOR SUCCESS is The Grand Ashworth Fortune, a formulaic furry adventure story that takes One Piece, adds Sonic-style anthropomorphic characters that look nothing like their animal types, and...well, that's about the extent of the creative process. The main characters are Ruby, a hyperactively positive adventurer who is NOT YOUR CHOICE FOR WORLDS BEST FORTUNE HUNTER. (She probably eats a gum gum fruit of some shit in chapter 64, most likely), and Ashworth, a cat variant of the character Shadow with an even fruitier name.

A typical scene from The Grand Ashworth Fortune.

It is very well regarded by confused Sonic-obsessed 13 year old furries and rabid fan Knux the Killer, and as such it is NOT TO BE CRITICISED. Darkspeeds is very reluctant to accept criticism about his method or style, cleverly adapting the "IT'S JUST MY STYLE" excuse to any situation.

As such, criticism of his atrocious sense of anatomy (either furry or human) will be ignored. Everything is his style, and he need not improve any element of his art.

Ruby's breasts

Rubybreasts.jpg

Especially not Ruby's breasts.

Darkspeeds' "influences"

Not only is Darkspeeds a failure at drawing and coping with critique, his comic is laughably derivative of One Piece, Fairy Tail and Sonic the Hedgehog. This lack of original concepts has lead to him ripping off RPG costumes:

Darkspeeds parmir roan.jpg

to Sonic hairdos:

Darkspeeds salahthehedgechidna.jpg

to the stupid Luffy grin from One Piece:

Darkspeeds fuckingteeth.jpg

WHAT IS WITH FUCKING GRINNING BIRDTEETH (Ruby's shit-eating grin rivals that of Sonicrocksmysocks)

to the magical girl Ruby, who summons things

Darkspeeds ruby magic.png

a bit like Lucy from this Japanese One Piece ripoff comic: "Lucy practices Stellar Spirit magic, a skill which allows her to summon spirits from another world using Keys of the Gates. Her Stellar Spirits have varying levels of power, with different ones suited for different tasks."

So, amusingly, Darkspeeds not only rips off One Piece, he rips off Fairy Tail, which is a direct rip-off of One Piece.

Fairytail lucy.jpg

Oh, and don't forget Ashworth.

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Of course, Darkspeeds has tacitly admitted that he draws a little bit of inspiration from animu like One Piece:

Parmir has a BEAST form and a CHILD form.


   
 
Let you tell you this Ana. Natsu's personality and attitude is almost like a carbon copy of Luffy's. And for some reason it works for the readers and fans of the series. The only difference is Natsu's weak with transport and Luffy is scared of water. These small important differences is what distinguishes between the two.
 

 
 

—Darkspeeds, explaining that changing one minor detail on an existing character instantly creates a new an original character.

Tails Away

Darkspeeds dragon1.jpg

Darkspeeds used to draw a comic called Tails Away and by the time he canned the comic, he was introducing Amy Rose in a dragon form. Sound familiar to anyone who has played Lunar?

Darkspeeds dragon2.png


   
 
BTW if you were wondering who or what that flying animal is - It's Amy! ^____^ All will be explained later. Lunar 2: Eternal Blue fans will find this concept familiar... ^___^
 

 
 

—Darkspeeds, demonstrating that all you need to attract fans to your original concept is someone else's ideas.

Ten year plan

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Darkspeeds often refers to his "ten year plan" which will get him into the comic industry. See this incoherent YouTube ramble. He is currently in year 3 and has sold 30 comics.

Batshit insane fans

Most of Darkspeeds' fans are the kind of inoffensively mundane 13 year olds who recolor sprites, get very excited about anything in a Sonic style (see Ashworth) but he does have some obsessive fans who enjoy Ashworth a little too much and are always highly submissive and eager to please.

As any sort of disagreement or expression of disapproval about his series will result in admonishment and exclusion from the Darkspeeds fan community, rarely are his works criticized. Whenever a fan does overstep the mark and point out flaws in Darkspeeds' work (or the fact it's entirely fucking derivative), they are quick to rescind their remarks in fear:


   
 
Ah, you know what? Scratch what I said about the highlights. Wehn I look at the image zoomed out, it makes more sense to me. ;3
 

 
 

—AgentWebdog, taking back her useful critique after realizing it may jeopardize her chances of getting Elson's wong.


   
 
Ay, I don´t know if you saw my second comment after right that one, I asked for apologise exactly when I remembered about that. And that influence, well, that reforced me to remember! An exaggere in my opinion.

I´m really sorry, hope that it didn´t hurt you much. You are right.
 


 
 

—Knux-the-Killer, who almost saw the light but took it back in fear (and broken English)


Darkspeeds loevs lolis

While currently single, Darkspeeds once engaged in a creepy relationship with a 13 year old girl when he was 17. The girl, MilesTailsPrower-007, is a fixation of the DA Sonic community and reportedly was too busy commenting on every fucking Sonic drawing ever posted to ever show delicious flat chest. He did, however, make some appeals to this nature.

Darkspeeds mirror.jpg

It is believed that this is some kind of AZN mating ritual, though his intentions with the rose are unclear.

He also liked to take artistic and skilled photos of himself holding a tails plushie.

Darkspeeds calls to America

Darkspeeds connections with young teenage girls did not first occur there. In late 2003, he made international calls to a 14-year-old girl, kati-kitani-st (new account after it was hax0red, black-avalon) who resides in America. They have always called each other until one day Darkspeeds made the call that would forever end their international phone conversations. When made that call to America, he expected the young girl to answer, but NOPE. Turns out it was her mother that had answered the phone when he called:


   
 
I called half an hour later the scheduled time... I heard a different voice, I wanted to know the name of this person to make sure I've got the right number, she didn't answer... I wanted to double check on whom I was talking to who... It's normal to do that... And it asked who is this I'm speaking to? Alas it was your mother... From this point on I didn't want to disturb her...
 

 
 

—Darkspeeds

Elson's lovely phone sex partner.
TRAP MAYBE?

Immediately after discovering that it was her mother, he hung up, fearing that his love for younger girls and lolis would be revealed. Thinking that hanging up would solve everything, the girl's father calls back to speak with his father, wanting to know:


   
 
Why is your 18 year old son talking to a 14 year old kid?
 

 
 

—The father, revealing the TRUE Darkspeeds.

Darkspeeds' father tried to compromise to the girl's father by explaining that "it was to do with the involvement of this community thing on DA and their share of interest for 'Sonic The Hedgehog,'" because EVERYONE'S DADDY loves Sonic the Hedgehog and it will certainly explain why an 18-year-old boy is making calls to America to talk to a 14-year-old girl, amirite?


   
 
They don't understand what we've been doing for each other on the net, they only assume the bad things that may go wrong in the net...
 

 
 

—Darkspeeds, using an excellent choice of words.

Want to read moar? It's all here in the internet archive.

Derpspeed doesn't realize that true love is Wong, not right.

Darkspeeds goes critique discouraged

   
 
I don't use DA for professional purposes.
 

 
 

—Darkspeeds, whose future plans depend on a furry comic that only TARTlets could care about.

Just draw a stick figure, then draw Tails, then YOU'RE DONE!
A new development in the ongoing saga of Darkspeeds has revealed that:
  1. Darkspeeds believes he can license the rights from Sega for a "How-to-draw Sonic" book
  2. Darkspeeds is an awful art teacher
  3. While "imitation has always been a part of my style fundamentally", he can't even draw Sonic accurately enough for a tracing book to be of any worth
  4. Constructive criticism on his DA account is rude and inappropriate
  5. Positive statements in the form of emoticons are desirable
  6. He gets his criticism from random people on English trains and IRL furries.

These revelations came about as a result of an epic comment thread on his collection of how-to-draw "tutorials". Amongst his regular cacophony of "Sweet X3" and "Hehe cool!" comments, a brave warrior and now ex-buddy spoke up against the idea that his tutorial could get anywhere, on account of it being 1. a shitty tutorial and 2. flawed in various places. What ensued was a night of return-fire posts wherein he asserted control by asking her to "show some respect to the seniors", suggesting "Don't force an adult what to do m'kay?" and then concluding "smell ya later".


   
 
You seriously dissapoint me buddy, heck you ain't worth it to be called 'buddy' in my book.
 

 
 

—Darkspeeds

Darkspeeds severed ties with his critical assailant after this argument. He did, however, concede to marking the tutorials and his future works as "critique not desired". Thankfully, the period of hypocrisy has ended, and a new era of an admitted dependency on praise has begun.

Or maybe not?

Darkspeeds critiques.png

Turning his back on the promise to truthfully label his works as critique discouraged from now on, Darkspeeds is now eager to show that he's turn a new leaf and is man enough to accept critique. Unfortunately, his approach to critique relates less to learning and more to the idea of "hey, I listened to your criticism, but I'll just ignore it lol".

CHING CHONG WING WONG NO RIKEY CHINESE

Recently there have been a few more discoveries made about Darkspeeds, namely:

The result of chemb0t's excellent critique. DODGE AWAY!
  1. He's openly racist, despite trying very hard to be Japanese.
  2. He thinks he accepts criticism, even if he doesn't.
  3. He solely takes the advice of idiots who code shitty bloated webpages and think the key to artistic mastery is use of the dodge and burn tool.


   
 
Go f**k a flame somewhere else man, I don't need that shit, treating as if I can't seriously take critique.
 

 
 

—Darkspeeds, lolwut


   
 
Oh man...You did good. You did good...So good that I wanted to kick the f**king daylights out of you. So much that for a start you have no idea what AZN truly means, secondly you have no idea how I HATE and have NO RESPECT for the AZN mentality (f**k those Chinese who are bloody proud of themselves and thinking they are superior!) I was really pissed that you implied I was anything like THEM...I'm fuckin' Aussie mate, harden the fuck up ya dick!
 

 
 

—Darkspeeds, raging against chinks

The rant goes further but is tl;dr. See this DA comment thread for details.

Bittersweet Candy Bowl

Another episode in the saga of Darkspeed's amazing(ly bad) projects is an animated adaptation of a webcomic called Bittersweet Candy Bowl, which was more overexcited animu bullshit and overbearing advertisement than a video.

Unwilling to hold himself back to only ripping off SEGA characters and claiming them as OCs, he also feels the need to rip off shamelessly convert other's IP to his own mimicry of SEGA's art style. and whine when the creator and fans of said IP tell him he's a bad, bad person.

Unable to break away from the Sonic universe, even in another's universe, Darkspeeds insisted on twisting the personality of characters to mimic those of Sonic and friends, going so far as to ask voice actors to include reaction noises ala Sonic Underground.


Project Thread

The video

Video in which Darkspeeds rags on a specific member of the fandom for five minutes (1:20 in)

Darkspeeds fanart

Here are a few images probably created by dirty chinks.

YouTube videos

Darkspeeds is one of those hyperactive AZNs with no sense of shame. Unlike other Sonic fans, he is outgoing and enjoys social interaction (much to the detriment of society.) Some of his favorite activities involve talking to a Shadow doll in venice, singing Sonic songs openly, asking random people about their interest in Sonic, asking for job at Sega and failing and doing cartwheels like an 8 year old.

Many of these videos are tl;dr, but persist with the second one.

Sonic in San Francisco

Sonic in Venice

ELSON DARKSPEEDS WONG, VIRTUA FIGHTER

Sonic voices

There are many many more.

External links

See also

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Darkspeeds is part of a series on

DeviantART

Visit the DeviantART Portal for complete coverage.

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[WAY PAST COOL!GOTTA GO FAST!]


Darkspeeds is part of a series on
Sonic the Hedgehog

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Darkspeeds
is part of a series on
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Just another British fucking colony...

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