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Fun fact: Death is a scam made up by the jews to get you to buy their coffins so they can get more jewgold. Do us a favour and die somewhere that they'll never find you, as The Kikes are rich enough already. Someone should do something about it.
An all-around humorous topic, Death is the ultimate escape from your flesh prison. There are many ways of achieving death, some funnier than others. Death is unique as it is the only common ground human beings have. So remember that the next time some jerk beats you up, steals your bike, fucks your mother and makes you call him Cindy, you have a comeback (albeit a shit one) which is: "LOL NIGGA JOO GUNNA DIE!"
Think of the world as one huge fucking forum, with God as the admin. Thousands of people are banned everyday, but there are also thousands of registered new users everyday so it balances out. However, not everyone is permabanned by God; some people simply delete their own IRL accounts.
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Fake death (or pseudocide) is a method of attention whoring when someone thinks that people will miss them when they're gone. It is but one more way for these failures to fool themselves into believing that they will not be dying alone. They include:
- Sui-Chan – Infamous emo "live" fake death.
- Kewllimesrevenge – The fake death that never happened.
- Flashman – Fake death of a fake person.
- The Great Sonic-cide of 2007 – Furfags want attention
- PogoRoo – Faked death to scam furries out of commission money.
- Jolene JRyda – A jugalette who tried this BS in reaction to her fail as a mother and human being was pointed out and posted on ED. No one bought it, especially after she was outed by her own sister.
While usually funnier than a fake death, the actual death of an actual person isn't always completely awesome. It depends on how they died. For example, the death of your ex-girlfriend is not funny because she probably doesn't exist. On the other hand, the old guy with cancer who chartered a biplane and jumped out is pretty much A+. Or when Steve Irwin, who spent his life pissing off crocodiles and other large animals, got im-fucking-paled by a stingray. Also, the death of any an hero is sure to create lulz. Real death is a necrophiliac's dream, and they will make sweet love to any festering meat pile. Popular real deaths include:
- Budd Dwyer – First televised public suicide
- Steve Irwin – For a man who fucked with crocodiles, being killed by a stingray is a pussy way to go down.
- Michael Jackson – Melted down into Lego so kids could still play with him after death.
- Billy Mays – HI, BILLY MAYS HERE FO-HNNNNNNGGGGG
Where Do I Go When I Die?
- An hero
- Death Van
- Death List
- Death penalty
- KILL IT WITH FIRE
- Neil Gaiman's Sandman Has everyone's favorite Cute Little Death Girl
- Bimbo the Clown and other famous people talk to us from beyond the grave. Suitable for scaring small children.
- A large collection of particularly lulzy deaths
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|Featured article February 20, 2006|
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