Derek Jeeves

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Why the UK is doomed

Remember that fat kid you went to high school with who would end up being the butt of every joke, despite the abuse from his peers burning him up inside, in a meek attempt to fit in? Meet Derek Jeeves a 33-year-old sheep-shagger from Manchester, who enjoys flattering himself over his genius sense of humor, or lack thereof. A self-proclaimed YouTube superstar, the typical Derek Jeeves masterpiece is a 1-2 minute short in which he rants on a random topic, attempting to include as much vulgarity as possible. A true teenager at heart, Derek believes excessive use of the words "foock [sic]" and "sheet [sic]" is true comedy gold, not to mention his habit of aLwAyS tYpInG lIkE tHiS. To top it all off, he usually begins his video titles with "EXPLICIT", possibly to warn underage viewers of the upcoming content (who are clearly more mature than he is), despite the fact that the garble coming from his mouth could be classified as its own language. The incredible amounts of unwarranted-self importance coming from this individual can be felt even through a computer screen, as he uploads 2-3 videos a day for his "fans" made up of his three subscribers. Believing that his childish antics make him an epic troll, Derek continues to be a perfect example of not getting the fucking hint.

His petty excuse for humor[edit]


   
 
If U dONt gET mE seNSe of HUMour TheN yOU proBAbly neEd a shAG u uPtiTE bastid !
 

 
 

—Getting trolled

Inside the mind of a lonely man[edit]

Derek, adding random emo/scene kids on Facebook

When not attempting to act as juvenile as possible on YouTube, Derek is desperately searching for potential e-friends on Facebook and related social networking sites. A quick look at his Facebook reveals a deeply troubled man, only seeking acceptance from the outside world.

Derek attempts to speak with a spam bot to make up for his own lack of human interaction


   
 
WOT at KeV's ChiPpy - mOsS siDeStudied I've Got Add at dONt bE DafT ya PoSH TwaTLives in Manchester, United KingdomBorn on November 17, 1978
 

 
 

—Profile info


   
 
About Derek

SeX, Drugs , CHips n RoCK n RoLL

I USed tO plAy BoNGos wITh OasIS !

NeWky BroWn
 


 
 

Trolling[edit]

   
 
goT me FiRSt haTE mail oN me YouTube fRom soME tosseR - I'm VeRY proUD to gEt me FiRSt hatE maIL ! yeah soRted !
 

 
 

With the ridiculous amounts of USI coming from Derek, trolling him is relatively easy. Much like Peppermintpatti, he is new to the concept of the internet, and thus cannot cope with criticism directed towards his "works". A single comment on YouTube has been known to irk him for days on end, until he finally convinces himself that people who do not "understand him" are simply jealous.

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Derek Jeeves is part of a series on Dying Alone

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