|Watch Out!||This faggot waits for the child to make the first move in a sexual situation.
You can help by contacting Federal Authorities and alerting Chris Hansen.
Derek Savage is to movies, what Phil Fish is to gaming. Enough said. A man who started out as a humble director who has gone from a male stripper to a man who wants to capitalize on a furry figment from his childhood has been reduced to a bankable lolcow, and proof that having a career doesn't excuse you from being a faggot.
He actually bothered to write a full bio of himself on his website. In a nutshell, in his early adult years, he previously worked as a male stripper, and he has even published a biography pertaining to the whole thing, clearly showing his lack of self awareness. When he discovered that his lifestyle wouldn't get him anywhere, Derek conceived his most popular creation, Cool Cat. He created the furry atrocity when he was just a kid. It's possible that he was heavily bullied as a child, and that he'd make up for his painful childhood by making a bigger ass of himself on the big screen. In the following years, he has produced eight books centered around Cool Cat (and the artwork for each seems to remind you of a certain someone, and since 2013, he has gone on to movies.
Basically, the Cool Cat movies deal with a grown ass man in a cat costume interacting with kids and helping to make the world a better place, and like any quality movie, Derek takes the initiative to make sure Cool Cat is as unlikeable as possible. The films are so crappy, that they come closer to parody films than anything decent. Aside from Cool Cat, the film features his mother, and Derek himself playing Cool Cat's dad. An odd choice, considering 1: In the books, it's established that Cool Cat's dad is a cat as well, and 2: The relationship is, predictably, confusing and creepy as fuck. The most famous of the movies is Cool Cat Saves the Kids, where Derek somehow managed to get Erik Estrada and Vivica A. Fox to appear in it.
It's important to note that a significant amount of time in each of Derek's Cool Cat movies is devoted to showing off what Derek likely considers cornerstones of his "success". In one segment, which lasts over ten minutes, Cool Cat is seen in Hollywood crashing a parade. In another, Cool Cat and Daddy Derek rock out with what is called "The Van Halen Guitar" (an EVH Striped series electric guitar that retails for just under $900). It's unclear if the appearance of these places and objects are featured as a means to prove that Derek isn't just some dumb pandering schmuck with expensive toys kept in a house with a mortgage well beyond his means to maintain and that he is to absolutely be taken seriously as an artist or what. In the least, these scenes are fitting in the way both Hollywood and Van Halen are known for their rampant homosexuality and drug use.
Judgement Day Cometh
Like any shit movie, it was bound to reach the internet at one point or another. The first person to review it was YourMovieSucks. Strangely, Derek enjoyed the review and he maintains a good friendship with the reviewer. It wasn't until two more reviews were flagged that the entire internet began to see just how bad Derek truly was. Derek has flagged down Bobsheaux and, more infamously, I Hate Everything's reviews of Cool Cat Saves the Kids. This has led to a blood feud between IHE and Derek which'll likely never die out until IHE apologizes for criticizing a movie Derek likely faps to every Tuesday. This feud has stagnated to the point that Derek made a video attempting to justify flagging down IHE's review, which only made him look like more of a retard. Eventually, IHE received an e-mail from a supposed pair of lawyers regarding another movie IHE reviewed. Considering how IHE is smarter than those who don't know what being an hero really means, he learned that:
- The lawyers weren't real.
- The people behind the film in question didn't give a shit about IHE's review.
- The sender used a Yahoo! e-mail.
As of now, by some freak miracle, IHE's review of the movie was put back on YouTube, and Derek, after getting told off by the one reviewer he was ok with, re-uploaded a trailer for a movie YMS was intended to make a cameo in and had him taken out. It's safe to say that Derek will become an hero very soon.
Ways to Troll Derek
- Do a negative review of Cool Cat Saves the Kids without consulting him first.
- Tell him how any of the reviewers he went after are far more successful than he'll ever be.
- Point out his obvious bald spot.
"WAH, I'LL DOX U"
In a move that is a complete 180 from what his character stands for, Derek has transformed into the bully he claimed to protect us from. On February, he has threatened to dox everyone's address that made parodies of him, such as "Cool Cat Joins ISIS "(Lies, they'd behead him first) and more. First the fake law firm, now he has degraded into "autistic 1337 hacker kid" status. His legal knowledge is clearly so low, he won't realize this'll net him about 10-20+ with Bubba. He has since deleted the tweet like greased lightning, but thank the Internet for screenshot grabbers!
His Rabbit Hole Goes Even Deeper
Cool Cat ends school shootings forever
Derek's newest project is "Cool Cat Stops School Shootings", a new movie he believes will end all school shootings. As a joke, Mumkey Jones agreed to promote his movie if he lets him play the shooter, and Derek agreed (but it doesn't seem to be working).
If you want to financially support this lulzfest you can do it here.
- Chris Chan - Both have an equal understanding on copyright, and likely the same mental condition
- Tommy Wiseau
- Phil Fish - Derek's gaming counterpart.
- wwwarea - Derek's lone defender.
- Spax3 - Enough said.
- Sonmanic - Another director who's from the same state as Derek.
- Internet Tough Guy
- Coolcats shitty website
- The full dox threat tweet before he redacted it. The Streisand Effect continues.
- His website, looking as if it has hardly evolved from the early 2000s
- Archive of said election Tweeter
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