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Desperate

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A typical desperate person.
Do you feel lonely?
Beauty, sense of humour, personality: Desperate people lack at least two.
Are you in need of companionship, and willing to go to extraordinary lengths to find it? If so, you are desperate!

What causes people to be desperate?[edit]

Daxflame is desperate because of his Asperger's Syndrome.
Desperate women always end up being "easy".
Cause Effect
Asperger's Syndrome Aspies are very desperate because nobody wants to talk to them, despite the fact that they make amusing lulzcows because of their awkwardness. As far as being able to find a sex partner, aspies normally have to rely on date rape drugs in order to get any with something other than their hand.
Emo Emos are desperate because they think no one understands them. Most resort to emosexuality. Thankfully, most do not reproduce because they become an heroes when an emo "female" finds out she's pregnant.
Being fat Fat people are fugly. The only people who are attracted to these whales are sick fucks who like queening, and FFAs. Thus, fatties are desperate and prey on unsuspecting drunks.
Homosexuality Homosexuals are in the middle of a struggle for their "rights" to spread AIDS and destroy the world with their faggotry. They claim there is cultural oppression against them, and thus most are either still in the closet or are out but avoid the demonic breeders that are taking over the world. This makes them very desperate, and willing to fuck anything that looks even remotely male for less than three dollars. At least 100 percent of homosexuals fap to Goatse and Lemonparty on a daily basis.

How to Cure Desperation[edit]

If you are desperate, this is the final solution to your problem.

1: If you are a sick fuck who likes bestiality, buy a dog.

2: Move out of your Mom's basement.

3: Take off that narutard head band.

4: ????

5: PROFIT!

Desperate MySpace Celebrities[edit]

Brandon Hilton. This faggot friendwhore is so desperate he posts bulletins asking for buttsecks from random shemales over 9000 times a day. He has yet to get any because he is fugly and pro-ana. This is unfortunate because buttsecks causes AIDS, which causes death.

Gay God. Another faggot friendwhore, except this one is emo and is a known cutter. He has had numerous buttsecks partners before, but he wants moar. However, he's a vegan and he likes to dance around in his underwear on the Jew Tubes, which repels future mates. It is a mystery why Gay God has yet to die from AIDS to face the actual God and find out that God hates fags. Thus, Gay God will continue polluting the internets with his desperation.

Tila Tequila. She had a whole reality show dedicated to finding love. She didn't find it. Now she's back for moar. She's obviously desperate because she is a slut, but even then, she can't seem to get what she wants.

What Desperate People Do[edit]

Animals can be desperate too.

Desperate people are known to lurk IRL and stalk the objects of their affection. Since desperate people are unable to have sex IRL, they resort to alternative methods, such as ejaculating on printouts of womens' MySpace pictures and auto-erotic asphyxiation. In order to fully express the agony that results from being single, all desperate people make tl;dw vlogs on YouTube and also write tl;dr bullshit on LiveJournal. When they realize they've written a bunch of shit nobody cares about, they often leave LiveJournal, or leave the internets entirely.

However, nobody has ever been as desperate as Lisa Nowak, who drove over 9000 miles in a diaper to try to reach somebody else's man. She was arrested for attempted murder, since she brought a gun with her.

Other Desperate People[edit]

External Links[edit]

Desperate is part of a series on Dying Alone

[DeadCry yourself to sleep]

Poemo.jpg Those Who Have Died Alone

Aaron SwartzAdam LanzaAlexis ArquetteAmanda ToddAmy WinehouseAnal CuntAndy KaufmanAngry GrandpaAnna Nicole SmithBill HicksBrandon CrispBrian AdamsCharmaine DragunChester BenningtonChris BenoitChris Harper-MercerChynaCodey PorterDavid BowieDavid CarradineDimebag DarrellEazy-EEdaremEdgar Allan PoeElliot RodgerElvis PresleyEmer PrevostGeorge CarlinGeorge SodiniGizgizHappyCabbieHarambeHeath LedgerJeff WeiseJewWarioJim MorrisonJohn LennonKatelyn Nicole DavisKitty0706Kurt CobainLemonade CoyoteLeelah AlcornLil PeepLiloMegan MeierMichael JacksonMitchell HendersonMySpaceOtoya YamaguchiPekka-Eric AuvinenPrinceRandy StairRehtaeh ParsonsRicardo LopezRipperRobin WilliamsRudolph ZurickScout SchultzShawn WoolleyShaySteve StephensTony48219TooDamnFilthyTupacTyler DumstorfVester FlanaganWilliam Atchison

Those Dying Alone

03bgood2cash2 gryphon7jackass77Adam SandlerAhuviya HarelAIDS SkrillexAkewsticRockRAlex FordAlex JonesAlison RappAmerica's Third PartyAmericanDad86Amy SchumerAngry JoeAnimatedJamesAnita SarkeesianAnonymous BorgAnthony 'A-Log' LoGattoAntony AguilarAnthony ToneyApril DavisAquagirlwhitefoxAriana GrandeArgent009Arguecat3Arin HansonArmake21AsalieriAsa CoonAsher2500Austin AlexanderAvantGardePonyBambifan101BarneyfagBasement DwellersBen FordBen MoynihanBenny_the_SnakeBenthelooneyBig RedBikerfoxBill9929Bill GaedeBill GatesBLACKbusterCriticBlueCatRioluBob RehahnBrandontheMovieGuyBrandon SmithBrian MuellerBrianna WuBroniesButLovaByAppointmentToCarl the CuckCartoonjunkieCaseydeckerCheeyevChibiyimaChi-Chan24Chloe SagalChris-chanChris CrockerChuck M.Clint of Rise and FallCNNCopperCabCorey MargeraCoughlan666CrazyvideosandrantsCrinklemonDaniel BrandtDan CilleyDane CookDani FilthDarius McCollumDarknessthecurseDarksydePhilDave ChapelleDave MustaineDavid HockeyDaxflameDBoyWheelerDeekerDeterminedToDrawUTDev-catscratchDGTrixieDiaper BoyDisneyFan01DisneyMasterDJ KEEMSTARDnepropetrovsk maniacsDon RobertsDoodletonesDoomer3868DoopieDoOverDorian_GayDoug WalkerDragoneerDrakonDustinEmosEpic Fat GuyEpicKitty54Eric AbramovEric RidenourErik RibsskogFilthy FrankFagolescentsFanFic CriticFast EddieFat ManFaust & Pory Five Nights at Freddy's fansFlardoxFluffy teh wolfForeverKailynFriends of A-LogFurriesG-ZayGather Against FateGeorge LopezGhostGirlvinylGoddessMilleniaGreg MazujianGwen GaleGwen StefaniHarmful OpinionsHellkiller777I Dislike Cis PeopleI Hate EverythingIan Miles Cheongicze⁴rilliniguy34Imma-The-DeerInkBunnyJames HolmesJamil The KingJessi SlaughterJessica LeedsJim ProfitJoe Crusher PicklesJoekerJoeysworldtourJohn BullaJohn FieldJohn KricfalusiJohn Patrick RogersJonathan McIntoshJonTronJoseph CampJoseph8276Joshua "Null" MoonJuggalosJustinRPGKaBlamBandicoot64Kat DenningsKendall JennerKathleen ToddKenny GlennKevin HavensKimmo Johan AlmKingEmpoleonKingMasterReviewKittenBellNSFWKrashedLaci GreenLarry the Cable GuyLauren FaustLeafyIsHereLecarickLeigh AlexanderLeisureSuitGamingLena DunhamLeonard F. Shaner Jr.Leslie JonesLifeInATentLikeicareLinkaraLittleCloudLittleKuribohLordelthibarLowti3rgodLucian HodobocM. ChaosA Man in BlackMajira StrawberryManchildrenMarblesMariotehplumberMarjan SiklicMatthew DavisMatthew NicholsonMatrooko11MaxtaroMcJuggerNuggetsMDetector5‎MeowbarkMeganSpeaksMeta527IIMichael BattonMichael BayMichael FitzhywelMichael GimsonMichael The GoAnimate GuyMike SandymindoutofsyncMoleman9000Monica PunkMonkeyGameGuidesMoviebobMSNBCMuZemikeMylarBalloonFanMysteriousMrEnterMysticArkNaokoElric2250Nascar221Natalie PortmanNathan GaleNawlinWikiNeckbeardsNeoGAFNick BateNick BravoNihilistic SnakeNikkineko333Noah AntwilerNostalgia ChickNotchNullcherriOFWGKTAOnyx ForepawPaigeGirlPaul FeigPaulie CalafioreParkourdude91Peter CoffinPhantomStrider8Phil FishPhunWithLogicPinkieponyPit ViperPixyteriPMRantsPreachingthegospelQuentin TarantinoRachael MacFarlaneRandi HarperRicki RavenRina-ChanRMG ProductionsRobert Wayne StilesRockosockoRomeo RoseRootbrianRose3212Ross LumbusSad FrogSammyClassicSonicFanSam HydeSam PepperSarah ButtsSarah SilvermanSarahisniftySaturnDOSSceptreSchnookumsSegacampSega KidSeth MacFarlaneSethistoShadmanSimply OkamiSolidMarioSlowbeef & DiabetusSnapesnoggerSonmanicSony-MaeSons of KojimaSophie LabelleSoulja BoySpax3SpongeBobAndTheLoudHouseFanatic2012Stephen SampleStormySuper Planet DolanSuperlisamcbSusan BoyleTara StrongTempleOSThatKidDouglasTheAmazingAtheistTheDOSFagTheSockDetectiveTim BuckleyTJ LaneToby J RathjenTodd in the ShadowsTom PrestonToonEGuyTourneyfagsTrey Eric SeslerTrigglypuffTyciolTyler GarmanyUlillilliaThe Unknown AutobotUrinatingTreeUwe BollVadeVinceintheBayWade FulpWeatherManKevinWesley!!!Winona RyderWoWfan4lifeWwwareaWeegeeisgoingtokillmYoshiwii1Youyoungbloodfantasy91Zoe QuinnZone

Their Methods

9gagAdventure TimeAIDSAnimuArt SchoolAsperger's SyndromeAssigned Maleask.fmBath SaltsThe Big Bang TheoryBlackLivesMatterBlack metalBody PillowsBoozeBullyingBuzzFeedComputer Science IIICosplayCumOnPrintedPics.ComDead FriendDeath metalDeath penaltyDeviantARTDiscordDrugsEdginessFamily GuyFanFictionFeminismFidget spinner The Filthy Frank ShowFive Nights at Freddy'sFleshlightFriend ZoneFurry ArtGarry's ModGoAnimate!GooglewhackingGorillazGravity FallsGreeny PhatomGrindcoreHackingHappy Madison ProductionsHomestuck‎Hover hand‎HufflepuffInfantilismIndie musicInsane Clown PosseInvisible GirlfriendIRCJenkemKiwi FarmsKotakuLegoLeague of LegendsLibertarianismLiveJournalLonelyLoveShyMai WaifuMen's rights activismMinecraftMLP ForumsMMORPGsMUDsMy Little PonyMy Tiny DickNice GuyismNu metalOculus RiftOh ShiternetOnline datingOnline sex gamesOverwatchPlastic CrapPlenty of Fish/r9k/Rick and MortyRobloxRuneScapeSecond LifeSilk Screen Goku ShirtTaking the Internet Too SeriouslyShy Boys IRLSlayerSlipknotSluthateSmogon UniversitySocial JusticeSouth ParkSparkalloonSpeakoniaTeam Fortress 2That Guy With The GlassesThe SimsThey Might Be GiantsTomb RaiderToolTransformersTulpasTumblrTV TropesUncle GrandpaUncyclopediaUnchartedUndertaleVirtual YoutubersVloggerheadsWatchMojo.comWizardchanWorld of WarcraftYouTube

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