Desuchan/History of Desuchan

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Desuchan has a long and epic history as a *chan, dating back to the early recesses of 2007, and punctuated by server death, board wipes, raids, and so on—just like every other imageboard, only with more desu. The most lulz-generating part of all this was the massive amounts of drama generated by the numerous outages, causing massive shitstorms and turning Desuchan's entire userbase into jaded bastards. After multiple attempts at getting a better server, admins finally succeeded, meaning an end to hardware failures. Desuchan still gets hax0red fairly regularly though, and, when the admins remember to keep backups, the damage is repaired fairly quickly.

The early days[edit]

Desuchan began its life on January 7, 2007 during The Great /a/ Exodus (see Book of Internets), starting out as your run-of-the-mill faggoty *chan running Trevorchan, with only a few boards: /ro/ (for Rozen Maiden) and /desu/ (for Desu) were the first to be created, soon followed by /ot/ (off-topic), /junk/ (for, well, SuigintouJunk), /md/, /gif/, /o/ and /w/. On March 1, after the newest version of Trevorchan crashed, Desuchan switched to Wakaba. Other boards sprang up as the userbase grew: by mid-June there were boards for each of the Maidens; in July /rp/ was created; and so on. By October 2007, Desuchan had grown into a thriving *chan with at least 25 boards (prompting some to complain it was 'turning into another 4chan'[1]), and all was well....or so it would seem. LOL FORESHADOWING

December 2007: R.I.P. DESUCHAN - /temp/[edit]

   
 
I'm tired of coming on here and seeing the same tired images posted again and again and again with worthless, insignificant, fucking POINTLESS TEXT that HAS NOTHING TO FUCKING DO WITH ROZEN MAIDEN.
 

 
 

—Ragephex aka Aphex Glasspuncher

Typical INTERNET DRAMA thread on /temp/ (rar); now epic copypasta

It was the best of times, it was the worst of times. It was the Hurricane Katrina of shitstorms, and the amounts of BAAAAWWWWW were astronomical. Early in December 2007, Desuchan's server had a breakdown. Nobody was really surprised, until somebody discovered that the breakdown was FATAL, as in, the b0x was fried. The admins, being the smart cookies they were, knew that they couldn't fully restart Desuchan until they got a new server, so they decided to create a temporary *chan with one temporary board until Desuchan could be fixed, which would be Real Soon Now[tm]. This was when the good people of Desuchan learned that they couldn't play well with each other, and set about trolling each other into oblivion. Dollfags, Touhoufags and RPfags raged against each other, all blaming each other for the site's death, as Real Soon Now[tm] slowly turned into Sometime After Christmas[tm]. It was a cold, lonely Christmas for Desuchanners.

The new Desuchan struggled back into existence, first reappearing in the early days of 2008. By this time, Photoshop Addict had gone ahead and created Bokuchan, which some users began to use as a home away from home while Desuchan got back on its feet. After disappearing and reappearing several times over the month of January, Desuchan finally seemed to stabilize in February. The era of /temp/ had drawn to its close.

Winter/Spring 2008: Yoyochan[edit]

HUFF HUFF HUFF HUFF HUFF HUFF

After the great crash that created /temp/, Desuchan was brought back with a new server that was supposed to solve all the problems. Unfortunately, this would be far from the truth, as the new server spent most of its time dying. Although Desuchan was now officially alive again, uptime plummeted and user frustration (aimed especially at the site admins) grew. Despite all this, some things managed to happen during this dark time. Few records remain of this era, seeing as the great crash of June '08 wiped out everything since /temp/.

Yoyochan era in a nutshell[edit]

OH FUX DESUCHAN IS DEAD AGAIN LOL OH WAIT IT'S BACK UP OH SHIT IT'S DOWN AGAIN OH FUCK IT'S BACK UP WTF IT'S DOWN AGAIN OH HEY LOOK IT'S UP AGAIN OH WAIT IT'S DOWN AGAIN OH WAIT IT'S BACK UP OH SHIT IT'S DOWN AGAIN OH WAIT IT'S BACK UP OH SHIT IT'S DOWN AGAIN OH WAIT IT'S BACK UP OH SHIT IT'S DOWN AGAIN OH WAIT IT'S BACK UP OH SHIT IT'S DOWN AGAIN OH WAIT IT'S BACK UP OH SHIT IT'S DOWN AGAIN OH WAIT IT'S BACK UP OH SHIT IT'S DOWN AGAIN OH WAIT IT'S BACK UP OH SHIT IT'S DOWN AGAIN OH WAIT IT'S BACK UP ooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooohhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh fuck this shit

March 24, 2008: New Manga Announcement[edit]

The beginning of a new era for Desuchan.

Desuchan waited. The server lights blinked and sparked out of the air. There was a new manga in the Young Jump. They didn't see it, but had expected it now for years. Desu was a chan for one year. When they were young they watched the Peach-pit end the manga and said to them "We want a new manga plz, oh and Season 3 too kthxbai" Peach-pit said "NO! YOU GET SHITTY LAPLACE ENDING" But now in the Young Jump magazine of Shueisha they knew there was a new manga. "This is DMS" the radio crackered. "You must sticky the new manga thread!" So Desuchan gotted his sticky pin and stickied the thread. "WE CAME RAINBOWS" said the dollfags. And then Desuchan was active.

May 10, 2008: Desu Conquers /a/[edit]

In May 2008, crash was beginning. Many dollfags were left out in the cold, huddling together for strength. An unexpected consequence of this crash was the Conquest of 4chan's /a/ by Desu. On May 10th, Frustrated by the lack of progress in getting Desuchan's crippled server Chii back online, dolljoint-starved Desutards invaded /a/ en masse and began to post thread after thread of dolljoints. Inexplicably, no one on /a/ seemed to mind, as every thread went unsaged.

June 12, 2008: R.I.P. DESUCHAN II[edit]

Desuchan's new front page
After a particularly nasty crash, Desuchan's German sysadmins opened up the server room to be greeted by a billowing cloud of red and green smoke. The unthinkable had finally happened: Desuchan's hard drive had died. Efforts to revive it met with failure, and Desuchan was pronounced dead at 4:38 PM GMT, on June 12th, 2008. Apparently the shitfit happened when a power supply blew, destroying not only Desuchan but several other servers. Its contents would have to be wiped, and a clean reinstall would be needed. This time, instead of setting up a new /temp/ board, Desuchan mods directed everyone to Bokuchan, which was created during the last major outage. This saved everyone a lot of headaches. While waiting for Desuchan to be restored, a couple of antsy dollfags looking for new ways to waste time read up about DesuRadio on ED and decided to restart the long-dead internets radio station.

Desuchan's server was restored on June 15th, and Wakaba was restored the next day with a minimal interface, whereupon dollfags shit their pants with joy, posting single-digit GETs with wild abandon. As of July 12th, Desuchan had gone a month with no significant downtime, leading many to think the unthinkable: that Desuchan might indeed be fixed fo evah.

September 11, 2008: JEWS DID DESUCHAN[edit]

Not being content with doing WTC, on September 11th, 2008 Jews did Desuchan, and not in the good way one would do, say, dolljoints. Bokuchan experienced a revived flush of traffic for the first time in around three months. As the tragedy became apparent, IRC became positively clogged with helpless dollfags:

[09:57] <WinglessHuzzar> heads-up
[09:57] <WinglessHuzzar> Desuchan is apparently down for the count
[10:14] <Tomoe Kashiwaba> again ?


Unlike the WTC, Desuchan was revived at the end of the day when Weedy got back from fapping and rebooted the box. And all was well with the world.

Fall 2008: H4xx3d |3y |)oCJ1550U[edit]

Once upon a time there was a troll named DocJissou who, while taking a break from sodomizing his faithful Great Dane Pootie, discovered Desuchan and the /desu/ board. He did what any self-loathing troll would do, and began to post Jissouseki scat and guro in massive amounts to the board. Getting banned multiple times, he managed to keep coming back thanks to his 7 proxies and continued posting Jissou. Leaving an ultimatum on /desu/, he threatened to flood all boards with Jissou if his last thread was deleted. Of course, mods deleted the thread soon afterwards. DocJissou soon followed up on his thread by "flooding" every board on Desuchan with one image of Jissou. The utterly monumental nature of his fail quickly got him laughed off the face of the Internet, leaving him to cower in the dark recesses of his mom's basement for the next few weeks, seething with resentment and a festering desire for revenge.

Sometime in the fall of 2008, DocJissou got one of his uberl33t Russian h4xx0r friends to exploit a weakness on Desuchan's server in exchange for a month's supply of borscht and blowjays. Desuchan was BALEETED, and angry dollfags cursed and once more returned to Bokuchan (which, by then, was not a clone) of Desuchan anymore, causing some dollfaggots to cry, and most to point and laugh. As Weedy and K_Anon proceeded to restore backups and unfuck the website yet again. DocJissou seems to have disappeared from the face of the Internets once again—perhaps being abducted to Russia for "payment" of his debts, although the entire episode helped in the creation of a new board, /nij/ - Nijiura Spinoffs, on which posting non-scat and non-guro Jissouseki is permitted, as the Desuchan mods were afraid of users staying on Bokuchan, a site that tried to avoid censoring NSFW material were possible.

January 3, 2009: PALESTINIANS DID DESUCHAN[edit]

What happened to the other guys
   
 
WE WILL NOT STOP TILL OUR DEMANDS ARE MEET
 

 
 

lolz random faggot Jihad haxx0r

LOL WHAT THE FUCK.

Jealous of the jews for shutting down Desuchan four months earlier, an uppity gang of Arab cyber-terrorists used an Apache filetype exploit to commit acts of Jihad, wiping every board and claiming responsibility with several posts reading "WE WILL NOT STOP TILL OUR DEMANDS ARE MEET" followed by a dead link supposedly meant to present a list of their demands. The incident caused annoyance among Desuchan's resident dollfags, unleashing a slew of sarcastic comments, image macros and saging. Single-digit GETs were once again claimed with wild abandon. Evidence soon indicated that the damage done was permanent:

<noko> Do we has backups?
<K_Anonymous> Oh yes, Weedy keeps regular backups.
<Weedy> the backups are fuxxored
<K_Anonymous> SHIT
<noko> lol
<Weedy> I KNOW THAT'S WHAT I SAID

Mods soon wiped the boards again to remove all traces of the hax, and the CIIIIIIIIIIIIRCLE OF LIIIIIIIIIIFE went on. Enraged at their massive fail, the terrorists apparently went on to vandalize other, more vulnerable *chans. "WE WILL NOT STOP TILL OUR DEMANDS ARE MEET" became a fleeting meme due to this incident.

March 11, 2009: LOL B&[edit]

At some time between March 10 and March 11, due to massive butthurt and drama, the mods accidentally managed to permaban everybody, including themselves for ban evasion due to a mistake. Since the mods themselves were b&, they couldn't do jack shit about the situation, instead having to wait for the admins to do something against it. and lulz were had.

July 22, 2009: /nagato/[edit]

File:DesuchanNagato.png
/ot/ becomes /nagato/. wtf bro
   
 
/nagato/ is eternal
 

 
 

—Hornet

Through some gratuitous coincidence—or an auspicious astrological alignment—several threads on /ot/ ended up with OP pics of the android bibliophile Yuki Nagato, from the animu The Melancholy of Haruhi Suzumiya. Some alert desufags noticed this, and began to post more Nagato pics, starting new threads to point out the anomaly. The next day, the first two pages of /ot/ were full of Nagato threads. At this point, several smartasses saw fit to call for the board to be renamed /nagato/ as a tribute to its new, de facto mascot. The mods, having nothing better to do, quickly complied. On July 23, 2009, /ot/ became /nagato/. A collective "WTF" was heard across the land, as the userbase alternately rejoiced and decried the new development. /nagato/ banners were made, threads were bumped, and bitching resounded. The controversy was short-lived however, as the name was soon reverted back to /ot/ and the Nagato threads gradually dropped off the front page, although through the agency of sympathetic mods, /nagato/ lived on as a hidden board.

November 5, 2009: R.I.P DESUCHAN III - LOL V&[edit]

I drive the Party Van! ~desu!!.
   
 
REMEMBER, REMEMBER, THE FIFTH OF NOVEMBER, THE LOLICON TREASON AND PLOT, I KNOW OF NO REASON WHY THE LOLICON TREASON SHOULD EVER BE FORGOT
 

 
 

—who knows

In the wee hours of November 5th, the inevitable, and the most feared of all of *chan doomsday scenarios came to pass: Desuchan got its accounts and server access yanked due to CP, taking down co-hosted Mikuchan with it. This may or may not have something to do with the massive amounts of drawn pornography involving underage girls hosted on Desuchan's boards. Within 48 hours of the site being taken down, the server had already been erased and reformatted via EMP, meaning that online backups were officially and irretrievably fux0red. It has been noted (A LITTLE LATE AMIRITE) that such delete-you-in-a-panic behavior is in fact common with German ISPs. CONSIDER YOURSELVES WARNED.

Information during and after the takedown was sporadic, owing to hosting company Giga's slowness in communicating with Desuchan's site admins. This caused several theories to spring up:

  1. Hit-and-run Theory: The main working theory. Some random smartass logged on, posted a shitload of CP to the boards, emailed Desuchan's ISP with links, ISP freaked the fuck out, BALEETED
    • Some argue a serial *chan rapist(s) may have gone on a rampage the night of THE INCIDENT, taking down several *chans in this way.
  2. Extort-o-matic Theory: Related to the above theory. Nazi ISP admins perpetrated a CPflood themselves, to give themselves an excuse to FUCKING DELETE Desuchan and troll Weedy out of six months' worth of advance payment (COS HE'S JUST A WEE LITTLE KIDDIE WITH NO LEGAL REPRESENTATION SO WE CAN RAPES HIM ALL WE WANT AMIRITE)
  3. Legal Definition Theory: loli = CP in Naziland, where Desuchan's server is currently hosted; thus, site admins just woke up and banninated Desuchan for years' worth of infringement. This theory was nullified as mods reported that there had in fact been a flood of actual CP on Desuchan before the takedown.
  4. ????: Who knows. ISP admins possessed by aliens or something.

As of November 16, 2009, the desuchan.net domain was back online with a new host, showing a placeholder directing refugees to assemble on the newly-created Hugachan (basically a clone of Desuchan with all the same boards, hosted on the ill-fated ImageBoard4Free.com). After a brief period of drama, Desuchan came back online for good on November 29th. Oddly enough, Desuchan admins had kept offline backups from shortly before the downtime, which meant that Desuchan returned to full working order without the total board wipe customary with these kinds of incidents.

Amusingly, ED's panel of experts agree that this seems to be the best-illustrated outage in Desuchan's history.


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