Near the end of 2007 Thorley announced that she would renounce her throne due to a bullshit promise she made to her family ten years ago about being there for them more. However, common knowledge will tell the most retarded of Toowoombanites that her kids are are adults now and don't need mummy to take care of them. Resigning to "spend more time with family", in any language, roughly translates to "I am a butthurt, shit-eating failure". Never before has this declaration rung so true.
It is much more likely that she walked out in shame after humiliating the city with her open scat fetish. In turn she was humiliated on the internets by unknown trolls who pointed out this very article and a fake MySpace to her, just months before she mysteriously announced retirement for an obviously fake reason.
In one final act of sabotage, she held the elections that chose her replacement on March 15, 2008, stopping Toowoomba residents from driving to Brisbane for the Ides of March protests.
Mayor Whorely is famed for making a national mockery of the city by pushing her own scat loving agenda and attempting to force recycled sewage into the drinking water supply of Poowoomba, in essence, making thousands of people drink Jenkem.
Soon this little known rural Queensland town was all over the national news from talk back radio programs prime time comedy programs, the general consensus being that it was disgusting and Poowoomba must be a filthy freak town.
Whorely pushed her shit drinking agenda under the guise that there was a water crisis and the cities dams are near empty. However, any bogan with half a brain knows that water evaporates and recycling it will only delay the inevitable emptying of the dams. With this common knowledge on hand it is clear that she is a Coprophiliac pushing her perverted sexual desires on to the general public.
Unfortunately for those endowed with a human soul, several months after Whorely's initial ballot failure all her twisted dreams came true. Fellow scat enthusiast Premier Peter Beattie forced recycled sewerage onto Queensland, completely disregarding the fact that noone wants recycled sewerage in the water supply. It is not yet known how many deaths will be caused by this blatant stupidity but it will definitely be over 9000.
To anyone who has ever seen her on television or heard her on the radio it is blatantly obvious she’s a butch dyke. From her booming voice, butch mannerisms, obesity and short hair cut it is sheerly brazen that she is the gayest thing under the sun.
Though she was once married and has at least 100 children this (sham) marriage ended in divorce the reasons for which are undisclosed in her shitty, self indulgent and poorly written biography. However, according to a recent seminar she gave at a high school she ended this marriage when she found her ex-husband masturbating over their infant daughter.
She said this fact was not in her biography due to legal matters a.k.a no she can’t prove this ever happened and had no right to say it to an impressionable group of teenagers.
It's two days later and I've just been beaten up. You want to start talking about recycled water? I'll just give you a lump of 3 by 2 and you can belt the hell out of me...It's like being raped by a thousand Arabs, you bastards.
—Toowoomba Mayor, Di Thorley, 1st August, 2006
All I can say is lol.
For several months an obviously fake MySpace account linking to this article stood under the name Dianne Thorley, announcing that "I'M DI AN' I KNO WHAT'S GOOD DRINKIN' FER IN YER WATR!".
The unknown troll friended hundreds of Toowoomba residents who mostly responded along the lines of "LOL! I knew she was retarded but I can't believe someone went to this much trouble to show it!", a typical Toowoomba self defeatist attitude. A reliable source, someone who actually knows Thorley IRL, told her about the MySpace and just a few months later she announced her retirement.
|Dianne Thorley |
is part of a series on
|Featured article March 8, 2008|
| Preceded by
|Dianne Thorley|| Succeeded by|