DOMO FOR ALL!!!
Domo-kun (more like Domo-kunt amirite?), or simply Domo, happens to be a giant walking piece of shit. Truth be told, he is also the mascot for the Japanese Broadcast Company, or JBC for short. On their network, at any given moment, little "funny" shorts used for station identification can be viewed, ranging from the vastly confusing to the God-awful want to barf feeling one gets when he or she watches Apollo 13 backwards at twice the speed. To the common ED reader, both him and his fans should be avoided at all costs.
—Domo-kun, all he can say.
As stated earlier, Domo-kun was created as a gimmick by the JBC for station identification. Why or how they did this is beyond most normal-thinking individuals - no where in the little "shorts" does the station's likeness appear, meaning it could have easily passed off as an Eastern European art student's project from the 1980's, which shall be discussed later. Some episodes do have a little watermark in one of the corners, however. In the first "episode", we witness an old rabbit named Mr. Usaji, which is actually a play on words derived from the wapanese rabbit, which is usagi (how the hell do you look at something and say it's a usagi amirite?) and grandfather, which is jii-chan. Mr. Usaji wakes up to find an egg has somehow landed in his burrow. It hatches, and a large square-shaped turd with arms and legs pops out, complete with jagged teeth and beady eyes. Why the rabbit does not want to kill it or run away is beyond us - and it's not like he can't see either, he wears Tojo specs. The second episode is where he gets his name - Domo - as he watches the television and it just so happens to say "doumo, konnichiwa." Again, the wapanese spell domo like doumo, which is basically moar proof that Domo-kun's creators are fucktards.
Other characters include a bat who has a drinking problem, three foxes that like to destroy things, a bear that aspires to be a baseball player, another bear who is too hungry to maul people, a weasel girl who is a yuppie, and a ghost that appears randomly and seems to have no connection whatsoever with the plots. All of this is 100% fact. If you don't believe it, look it up. So when the bat-mother isn't beating her kid after spending long hours at the bar or the foxes aren't wrecking things, Domo can be found making slow, deliberate movements, exciting blinking effects, or talking, which he does by making one long, droning yell.
Domo-kun is a special monster.
All the "episodes" are pretty much like that. Domo-kun doesn't understand something, so the old rabbit must either teach him or face pain.
Implemented into Society
Like attracts like. You may have heard this rule before, and Domo-kun is no exception. Domo-kun first gained his (her? its?) popularity in Japan, where he was quickly admired and adored by 16-year old girls, 13-year old boys, and pretty much everyone in between.
But like Hello Kitty, it wasn't enough to just keep the brown crap box on their own goddamn island. They had to make more money off of it. Their target: Japanese wannabe fantards and pretty much everyone else who has uttered "KawaiiiiI!!11!" in their lifetime. This, of course, is referring to pretty much half of all Americunt teens and pre-teens, as well as young adults who think he'd look cute next to their baby, because babies aren't afraid of something that looks like it's going to fucking eat them. According to hardcore fantards, Domo-kun made this jump to America on July 28, 2001, when Fark reported about Domo-kun, just like they do with all other unfunny news, cliques, and random drama. Some argue it was because of the article's thread number, which happened to have 1337 in it. Whatever. It still doesn't account for the overpriced merchandise of Domo-kun you can find in big box retailers in and across the US and Canada.
Domo-kun did, however, enjoy some internet success. This was typically brought on by azn wannabes, though. Everyone has seen the Domo-kun picture with him running in a meadow with the incorrect caption below that picture, which usually prompts the typical wtf response from first-time viewers. In terms of the *chans, Domo-kun has had marginal success, which is typically followed by massive fail once weeaboos get their hands on him. One can only think what these fantards truly wish to do with a brown-colored, compact, furry, creature...
Domo-kun? In My Target?
To cater the overprotective soccer moms and idiot Americunts who aren't weeaboo or deny the existence of Japan, department store chain Target has taken the liberty of integrating Domo-kun into American culture, making him the mascot of Halloween. That means people will have access to shitty candy and anything else that the face of a brown retarded monster can be plastered on, and he'll be forever remembered as a Halloween character and not as a mascot for a Japanese TV channel and an old meme. Of course, wapanese retards who don't know any better will gladly pay top dollar for this merchandise that will eventually be found at a local thrift shop. Needless to say, this introduction of Domo-kun to the mainstream audience will deliver untold levels of fail. More so than Domo-kun's fifteen minutes of fame in the early days of the Internets.
God Help Us All
Below are just a few examples of the Domo-kun faggotry found from across the world.
Also, in several backwater villages across Florida, at the local 7-11 one can buy coffee in a Domo-Kup! Faggotry!
Your Own Domo Costume
Lulz can be had designing your own Domo costume for Halloween. All you need is a giant cardboard box, brown paint, scissors, and no life. Just follow these steps below:
- Get a U-Haul box and paint it brown
- Cut out circular eyes, armholes, and maybe nostrils so you can see better.
- Brown sweaters / pants could be used for arms and legs.
- Using your artfag skills, paint some teeth and a mouth.
- Have fun running around like a faggot.
- 16-year-old girl
- 13-year-old boy
- pedobear domo-kuns enemy
- Domo-kun's website
- Pedobear vs. Domo
- Domo-kun fansite. Troll for lulz.
- Flash game trying to be epic, but failing hard. Dig the two minute long intro!
- Failed Nickelodeon show
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