Dora the Explorer
Dora the Explorer (moar liek Whora the Explorer, amirite?) is a cartoon created by, and for, the pedophiles and retards staffing Viacom as of last Thursday. After Blue's Clues fell from grace in 2002, Dora claimed the spot as the cash cow for Nickelodeon's preschool based shows. It wouldn't be until PAW Patrol came into the picture in 2013 that caused our dear Mexican explorer to get cancelled finally in 2015. In their attempts to teach Spanish to children they have provided a great fanservice to pedophiles. The show has become worshiped by autistics, kindergardeners, 5-year-old girls, potheads, pedophiles, and the children of illegals.
Besides, 4chan hates her, mostly because she's a bit of saucy Latino poon they will never taste. Her very existence is mockery to racist honkies. $ch is full of cunt-boys and dick-choppers anyway, so really who cares. Whenever DTH reruns come on Nick Jr thousands of hands disappear into thousands of dirty men's underpanties. She is also obsessed by many GoFags who haven't let go of their hatred for the show.
The plot repeats every fucking episode, involving Dora traveling to a hidey hole, finding lost treasures or friends and asking the audience where some very obvious locations are hidden on the screen. In some point of the episode, a burglar known only as black person tries to steal their items but ends up getting pwnt by Dora and Boots. At the end of EVERY episode, Dora and friends end up singing the annoying We Did It song.
The characters of the show include:
- Dora: A 9-year-old Hehican bitch who jumped the fence into America. She lives on a stolen Social Security number and travels with her monkey friend, Boots. She is the T&A in this series and returns home by blowing a nice guy willing to give a nice girl like her a ride. She is a dyke and she likes to fuck Boots in the ass every Cinco de Mayo.
- Boots: Dora's monkey fuck friend. Smuggled into America by Dora's cousin Diego, a Mexican drug trafficker and smuggler. He hides drugs in his boots.
- Swiper the Fox: An anthropomorphic fox who stalks Dora and Boots. He tries but always fails at stealing their items. This can be proven because he's never actually stolen an item, just picked it up and thrown it twenty feet. This, of course is presuming he actually managed to get his hands on whatever piece of shit item caught his fancy, as he can be easily deterred from "swiping" by Dora and Boots telling him not to three times. It should be noted that the only thing of value that he ever "swiped" was Dora's virginity. Studies have shown that Swiper enjoys robbing people due to his black person, hidden in his foxy fursuit. This explains why he has urges for mugging people, and why he lives in a hole in the ground.
- The Grumpy Old Troll: border patrol agent who likes to troll Dora and her friends by not letting them cross his bridge until they solve his riddle. He sucks at his job because he has never stopped Dora from crossing the border. It's unknown if he actually owns the bridges he hops out from under or if they are assigned posts given to him by the U.S. government. He always sings a song to Dora and Boots when they encounter him,
probably his way of reading them their Miranda RightsSPICS DON'T GET MIRANDA RIGHTS DUMBASS!
- The Map: Dora's autism-addled, overly hyperactive equivalent to a Mexican GPS. It is obvious to those who dare watch the show for longer than five minutes that this twitchy, fidgety "companion" of Dora most likely never sees the light of day save for the scant few moments when he's called upon to do his dark mistress's bidding, during which he spasmodically writhes around shouting directions and information in a happy, upbeat manner....kinda like some vile combination of Billy Mays and a semi-postal customer service representative.....as he tries desperately to obtain his freedom before beging sealed once more in his sweaty and most likely urine soaked prison.
- And more characters (like Backpack) that nobody cares about.
Many argue that Dora may have been an illegal immigrant crossing into America (she is), that the show has hidden subliminal messages about illegal immigration (it has), and in some cases, some much bawwing and whining about how Dora is a stereotype of a Mexican girl (she is). Of course it makes Internet videogame-grinder pussyboys hard so they spend too much time obsesssing over her tiny little brown veg, ohhhh.
—(A person at Yahoo answers, not making this up)
Since most young girls do not want to watch a show about a fat beaner, they remade Dora's current look. What came out was an older, and more attractive version of Dora. This was so they could keep onto their younger viewers as they grow older, and so pedos could have something better to splooge over. Many parents have BAWWWed over the new design and have made countless complaints.
—Because every young girl has a monkey for a friend and goes all over the world.
—A very, very concerned parent.
Contact your Representative today
—Sincerely, Denise L. Jones
What The Donald will do to Dora.
- Barney & Friends
- GoAnimate! - Dora is one of the many "baby show" characters that gets the "Grounded" treatment.
- PAW Patrol - The show that likely caused Dora to get cancelled.
- Sittin On Tha Toilet - Basically the black and adult version of Dora the Explorer. Prepare for MEGA FAIL!
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