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Emo

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Why do you keep calling us emo faggots? Faggot means gay, gay means happy and emos aren't happy!!!
 

 
 

—Emo cunt's reaction to trolling

Emo or emofag or emowhore was a movement from the 2000's which was an attempt to make normal teenage angst cool (a competition to win a pretension on this "my life sucks more than yours" contest). While everyone around them is also suffering from hormones and High School, they try to convince everyone that their suffering is somehow original. To break away from their normal suffering, followers of emo wear t-shirts of shitty bands like My Chemical Romance, ridiculously bright jeans, taking photos of themselves with a phone and uploading it on their Instagram account talking to strangers, growing a long fringe of freakishly long ass bangs to help warp their vision of the world. Sometimes they also might even dye it black. Otherwise they'll dye it blond for some reason or white because Gerard Way did had his hair white when he ejaculated on his hair from getting jacked off by his father. This vision causes the emos to insult people who are actually depressed IRL by making a fad of feigning their own dire depression. Emo music consists of insane amounts of lyrics about the greatness of being in the emo style and the terror of not having hawt emo girl want to fuck you. Emo can be short for emotionally fucked up. Some emo songs deviate slightly, encouraging male listeners to "Ahhh, c'mon, FUCK A GUY!"

Conclusive scientific evidence proves that emos are even more contagious and worse than niggas, beaners and kikes combined. And that says something. At concerts, emos stand in place and watch the band play with their arms crossed, tossing their hair out of their eyes and sucking on their lip piercings and putting their hands in their jean pockets liek WHAT THE FVCK1!!!!

an emo girl demonstrating what they do best.

They all think they suffer from severe narcissism, leading them to believe that they alone know what pain is, and that no one understands them, when in fact they are simply experiencing puberty; just like everyone else is. They all believe that their personal affliction could not be worse, that their life in their quiet suburban house with their own television and computer in their room is not just the worst life they could have, but the worst life anyone has had, ever. No one understands me!!! Some also think they're TOUGH AND BURLY because they enjoy pain. For others it's cause they born with psychotic mental disorders after listening to the doctor. They think of the illness as a satanic curse that makes them think they're real life demons where they see no little good in themselves (Not that they try.) to continue out a path with change and let big meanie words give them reason enough to off themselves and be true heroes instead of the edged out story of a freak of nature.

Basically, an emo kid is a virgin twat who takes denial of his/her unattractiveness to a new extreme. - He/she turns walking around in Petsmart into personal pride. When a hot girl tells him to fuck off, instead of being pissed that he's not scoring, the average emofag is actually glad that he got rejected - since that must mean he's sensitive, more mature than other guys, or just special in general. Plus it provides him fodder for his rape fantasies.

If by some chance an emofag actually manages to get a date however, then he'll be pissed since he won't have any reason to bitch or play the victim that day.

The principle of emodom is "The more you bitch about no one liking you, the more no one will like you." Emos tend to cut themselves on the forearms just because it is the done thing for an emo. Unfortunately, emo's are the biggest pussies in the universe, so they just about never get it right. Alternatively, emo's declare small cuts gained from attempting to rape their cats as proof they are hardcore cutters. In reality, however, most are simply too pussy to even go near a razor, let alone cut themselves with it.

Emos get tremendous shit in the country infested with beaners, where members of other beaner subcultures are prone to beating up emos for the sole reason that their whiny, conformist faggotry makes them justifiable targets. Emos also might try hard to confuse emo with goths, and in some cases if you're an emo kid like Justin Beaner, you want to be a prep.

Origins

A true Viking/Danes showing emos what he thinks of them.
Emos have no real friends.
They even have their own "special" car.
Emos in pop culture.

Emos (singular being spic language for "I buy") wear shirts of bands like My Chemical Romance and Senses Fail, and they have studded belts, eye-burning jeans and freakishly long bangs. They hide and want to be alone because they are too much of a faggot to contact anyone, which is partly contributed from the Jewish trait of Jew criticism. Also, they feel that their flaws are immediately visible from just their presence (another trait passed down from the Jews, who are very superficial people).

Depending on the person, the emo also can be a shitty poseur of a goth, itself a shitty offshoot of a punk, which is a crappy offshoot of a metalhead, which is inferior to a prep. HA HA DISREGARD THAT THEY SUCK COX TOO!

If an emo is or has done any of the following, he or she will become more inclined to ending it all in a suicidal way:

Prehistoric emos

1980s

In the 1980s, emo kids were just a bunch of people who thought they were punk rock and would listen to bands like Rites of Spring, who had a singer with fuzzy ass eyebrows. So then Ian MacKaye, the jocky frontman from Minor Threat wanted to become an emofag, too and formed Embrace. Since kids even called these guys "emocore", Ian got extremely butthurt over that term used at his band. But it's good that someone yelled that at him at a gig. Basically just a bunch of Minor Threat/Black Flag/etc fantards started running around in their concert joining the emo style. This leads to how emo became a big disease spreading among teens to become attention whores who try to look K00L AID OH YEA by competing with each other on who has the most shittiest life or is BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOner.

1990s

In the 1990s, when the punk-wannabe type of emo bands died, suddenly a bunch of emos decided to try to sound like Nirvana, the Smashing Pumpkins, Hole and others, while others decided to try being like Green Day and the Ramones remaining a punk-wannabe band. But then hipsters appeared as well with their gay indie music as well some hardcore fags decided that "HEY LET'S TAKE THE POWERVIOLENCE SOUND AND USE THE EMO LYRICS AND SHIT!" So they decided to make screamo and a bunch of geeks and hipsters with glasses, t-shirts, sweater vests and weird ass chucks decided to make a bunch of screechy noise with their recording of their terrorist attacks and bombing and their screaming to represent people getting castrated. These geeks and hipsters decided to make screamo but called it "skramz" because they were too much of a fucking ASS-PIE to know how to spell "scrams". They also called it "emoviolence" because they were emo nerds who loved terrorism and also helped Al Qaeda perform 9/11.

Typical Skramz Song
  • Soft guitars and quietness
  • Drummer on redbull, drumming like his ass is getting tickled, guitarist makes noise and bombs the city and records it and you can't hear the bass
  • Vocalist appears
  • YYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAARRRRRRR KAKAKASKAKKAKAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHHHHHHYYHYYYYYYYUUUUUUUUUAAAAAAA!!!
  • ALLAH UAKBAR! BOOM BOOM BOOM! YEAH WE'RE FUCKING MUZZIES!!!!!!!
  • Song ends; 30-100 seconds of screechy noise

Git 'em young

Even Gordon has his emoments
Typical emo faggot asking for it

In an interesting trend, young teenagers have begun adopting the emo mantra as their new Jesus, even though they will rarely cut themselves. They enjoy the thrill of straightening the straggly mop that rests atop their head and wearing tons of makeup to cover their pimple-ridden pubescent faces. They take black-and-white pictures of themselves and define themselves as "misunderstood" on their Instagram, Facebook, LiveJournal, tumblr or Bebo pages. Their usernames usually consist of serious descriptions of how they truly feel inside and are usually encased in a variety of symbols e.g. xXDarknessSurroundsXx, ^^)MyAngelCries(^^, X+LoveLikeFire+X. Many think that turning emo will instantly turn them hot.

The common path to emo generally follows these steps:

  1. They have a happy cheerful Carebear Facebook profile up until they're 12.
  2. One of their fat friends gets depressed and makes an emo tumblr.
  3. 12 year old friend sees this and goes OMG TAHTS SU KEWL!!11 and copies them.
  4. They straighten their disgusting hair that they haven't washed in 3 months, put on a lot of makeup that might make them look like clown/raccoon and take pictures on Instagram.
  5. Post with comments like "NOONE UNDERSTANDZ ME!!11 M I DESTIND 2 NEVR FYND LUV???"
  6. After getting a ton of attention saying "aww hunny dont wory im here 4 u :)", they start complaining about EVERYTHING.
  7. Become an hero.
  8. Listen to My Necropedophilic Romance, Dashboard Cumfessional, Fall Out Boy, Rites of Spring or maybe Hawthorne Heights
  9. Take the cigarette and get it smoked, then rub the lit end on your skin.
  10. Get the blade, cut off some of ya skin, and go "AAAAAAAAAAAAAAWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW YEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!!
  11. Be a hipster
  12. PROFIT!


   
 
i dont no any emos…! im the only 1 i no and i no every thing bout emo, i shud no… im so emo iv tryed 2 kill my self since i wuz 7
 

 
 

nic, please try harder

Current Situation

The current incarnation of emo has basically replaced all other teenage culture (read gays and little/teenage girls who went crazy over the boybands) as the dominant one. The slightly faded "vintage" clothing and track suits are available at any mall and often displayed in tandem with the most mainstream wares. Because the accouterments and garb are very easy and cheap to obtain, it makes the style accessible to you. In earlier times emo was a generally male-dominated subculture with very few females observed at shows and events (mostly because all present looked like girls anyway). Now, however, due to the ease of obtainment of the requisite style items, many females have become involved in the subculture. Please see the gallery below for several illustrations of typical specimens. There may be no easily discernible differences between the standard teenager and someone involved in the emo scene.

Often, participants are referred to as "emo kids," "emofags," just "fags," or any combination of these. Rednecks often refer to the participants simply as "wrist-cuttin' hippies". Normal people often say that "emo" is short for "gay trannys that listen to bad music". Everyone else calls them "failures at life".

Emo kids are a common plague on sites such as tumblr, Facebook, Bebo and YouTube as these sites offer the perfect digital mediums for them to display their tormented souls to the world.

EmoTube

stfu stfu STFU

The True Meaning of Being Emo

EXPAND FOR TRUE MEANING About missing Pics
[Collapse GalleryExpand Gallery]

Emo over the ages

Emo has had a long history in many forms, from the crackers in Europe, to the niggers, to the flappers, to the Nazis, to even the early Beatniks (named after the constant beatings they would receive) to all up into today's contemporary emo kids:

ERA: EMO KIDS WERE: DRUG OF CHOICE:
1790's-1820's French Revolutionists Execution by beheading, European conquest, overthrowing governments
1920's Flappers Shit, Dead Animals, Sweat, Reefers, Jazz
1930's Nazis Hitler, Cracker Pride, killing kikes
1940's Nips Hirohito, killing everyone else, eating gold dust every morning during sunrise, Kamekaze Banzai Harakiri soo Kawaii (ALL DRUGS TAKEN IN EXACT ORDER)
1950's Beatniks Poetry, Bongo Drums, Pot, USI, Elvis Presley
1960's Hippies Pot, Acid, Pot, Librium, Seconal, Pot, Napalm
1970's Disco Cocaine, Dexies, Bennies, Valium, Fags, Grass
1980's New Romantics Cocaine, Anal Sex, Herb, punk
1990's Grunge Heroin, Ecstasy, Flannel, Starbucks Coffee, Prozac, Weed, Shotgun Mouthwash, terrorism, punk, nerd, screamo
2000's Emos, pop punk Ritalin, Zoloft, Wellbutrin, NyQuil, Robitussin, Rispiridone, Weed, Gay sex
2010's Hipsters (or alternatively, 100% idiotic, pointless faggotry), crunkcore, glamfag, nerd, prep, Justin Bieber Indie music/film, thrift store clothing, Pabst Blue Ribbon, Irony, Michael Cera, Pitchfork Media, KISS, heavy metal

Controversy With Emo

National Emo Kid Beatdown Day

Russia declares war!

Less conformist?

Shortly before Russia invaded South Ossetia, legislation was drafted that would end the cancer that is killing Russia once and for all. Butthurt emos across Russia protested with angsty and heartfelt slogans like "Kill the state in yourself" and "A totalitarian state encourages stupidity." Much to their chagrin, the emos' secret ties to the Nazis have been exposed by the Russian government.

tumblr emo kids

Like cocaine. WATCHOUT.

tumblr is the primary breeding ground of pure gay emo faggotry. It is not yet known why so many people devote so much time looking at pure shit. Studies have shown that David Karp, the founder of tumblr has PEDO POWERS that cause all 16-year-old girls to sign up to his site. It is obvious that these sort of sites would appeal to emos, as it lets them bleat on about how miserable their pampered fucking suburban lives are and expect people to actually give a shit. Although nothing has yet been proven, preliminary results show that David emits a special type of gamma ray that makes gay emo fag girls horny. Another theory is that David is Adolf Hitler, and that using tumblr is similar to wearing the Jew identification badges Hitler used.

Common emo behavior

When oil reserves run dry in 2045, emos will be then oil and be used to manufacture an environmentally friendly fuel source.

Common Fashion of an Emo:

  • Black clothing (if they're trying hard to be a goth)
  • Eyeliner that makes them look like raccoons (mostly on gay emos who think they're raccoons)
  • Hair over eyes to hide "pain"
  • No skin
  • 489234723893743567348573456348546357346584638 belts
  • Bright ass jeans that fuck up the eye (especially with scene wannabes)
  • Hipster/nerd glasses
  • My Chemical Romance, Paramore, Jimmy Eats World, Rites of Spring, Senses Fail, Underoath or any other emo band merchandise.
  • Ear gauges which are ridiculously big ass fuck
  • Justin Bieber hair
  • Cum on the hair (If it's white)
  • One arm cut off
  • Screamo band t-shirt to be a "pure emo"
  • Hello Kitty,Invader Zim and Domo shit
  • Lip piercings
  • Jeans that are WAY too fucking bright.
  • If they don't wear pants, they have denim legs

Please refer to the Ofishul Emo Code for a complete list of rulez you must follow to be a true emo.

Gallery

Gallery of Emo About missing Pics
[Collapse GalleryExpand Gallery]

See also

Then use a bigger blade, dumbass.

Moar videos

External links


Emo is part of a series on Dying Alone

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Poemo.jpg Those Who Have Died Alone

Aaron SwartzAdam LanzaAlexis ArquetteAmanda ToddAmy WinehouseAnal CuntAndy KaufmanAnna Nicole SmithBill HicksBrandon CrispBrian AdamsCharmaine DragunChester BenningtonChris BenoitChris Harper-MercerChynaCodey PorterDavid BowieDavid CarradineDimebag DarrellEazy-EEdaremEdgar Allan PoeElliot RodgerElvis PresleyEmer PrevostGeorge CarlinGeorge SodiniGizgizHappyCabbieHarambeHeath LedgerJeff WeiseJewWarioJim MorrisonJohn LennonKatelyn Nicole DavisKitty0706Kurt CobainLemonade CoyoteLeelah AlcornLil PeepLiloMegan MeierMichael JacksonMitchell HendersonMySpaceOtoya YamaguchiPekka-Eric AuvinenPrinceRandy StairRehtaeh ParsonsRicardo LopezRipperRobin WilliamsRudolph ZurickScout SchultzShawn WoolleyShaySteve StephensTony48219TooDamnFilthyTupacTyler DumstorfVester Flanagan

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YOU JUST DON'T UNDERSTAND ME!
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</3 EMO </3
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