|This person has Assburgers Syndrome, |
so you can't say anything bad! :-(
Be aware of that, you insensitive fuck.
Equivamp (Powerword Kila Brija aka Kile Onasi) is a Chris-Chan tier therian furry lolcow in the sense that she spends her free time writing fanfiction of Star Wars: Knights of the Old Republic, uploading MSPaint drawings to DeviantArt, yiffing all the closet furries on ED IRC, and spending seemingly endless hours rollbacking template vandalism on WikiFur. All of this via using a web browser on Wii.
Despite being a WikiFurry, she has managed to become an EDitor in her thus short time with us at Encyclopedia Dramatica. She claims to be asexual, despite posting DeviantArt rants about not putting out enough to satisfy her "mate", whom
she maintains an online relationship with.NOPE, She dumped his ass for being a transexual.
It is also a known fact that she suffers from a variety of mental disorders, including but not limited to ADD as well as the spergs. Oh, and did we mention? Her BFF's a babyfur, and she started the babyfur group on dA.
- 1 Writings (Read at your own risk: Sue Alert Level: RED!)
- 2 Quotes
- 3 Zach Braff
- 4 Trolling Equivamp
- 5 Furry pariah
- 6 So how's your sex life Equi?
- 7 #ed's take on it
- 8 Equivamp's timeless period piece
- 9 Galleries
- 10 See also
- 11 External links
Writings (Read at your own risk: Sue Alert Level: RED!)
—Oddguy has the right idea.
All fangirls have their heroes, and Equivamp is of no exception. Who is this knight in shining armor, you might ask? Why, it is none other than an infamous unfunny Jewish cunt, Zach Braff. After disturbing everyone on EDF2 with her disgusting rampage about how she loved Scrubs, it became apparent that she was more than someone who simply likeds a TV show. She wants to have sex with him, and spends what seems to be hours gathering images of him and posting them on the internet. She even stalks him through his unfunny tweets and seems to think of him as being a pwning god. If there's one thing for sure, though, it is that Scrubs has been cancelled for good
and maybe she will end-up being a productive member of society instead of just some faggot who faps to ugly Jews TOO LATE, SHE ALREADY EDITS ON WIKIFUR
Equivamp, although claiming to be a furry troll herself, has been trolled on several occasions. If done right, she will, being that she can't handle the idea of being successfully trolled, accuse you of being a creep or just say that you are not successful. What follows if you keep pushing her will be an epic shitstorm of lulz spewing from her angry keyboard.
- Point out how one can't be a Christain Deist.
- Mention how all furfags should burn slowly.
- Bring up how Star Wars fanfics along with furry ones prove to be the ultimate sign of dying alone.
- Bring up how one can't be asexual and still refer to men as being "sexy".
—The comment that started it all.
In June of 2011, old Xydexx decided his life was too boring now that Kindrift lost his internet and couldn't play with him any more, so he went back to WikiFur to stir up drama with GreenReaper like the attention whore he is. He started with the Inflation related articles, of course, because it was relevant to his interests.
Much to his delight, he found a furry that had yet to deal with his fuck-nuttery: our dear Equivamp.
Despite supporting Xydexx's initial argument, Equivamp dared to point out that one number is bigger than the other, so Xydexx unleashed the fucking fury in an attempt to seem intellectual and save face. Tempers flared, and names were called. If it wasn't an edit war, one might mistake it for so many a yiffy fapfic. It was during this time that it came out that Equivamp was, in fact, an EDiot, something then-unknown to her furry comarades. Bricks were shat.
During this time, GreenReaper did nothing to stop the two. One theory is that he was watching the lulz ensue, but some argue GreenReaper has no sense of humor and was too busy fapping to Norn cock that he didn't notice. Eventually, however, he decided to take action--by moving the conversation to Xydexx's talk page, and getting involved in it.
After the discussion was moved, Equivamp apologized. She happened to stumble across Xydexx's article, however, and decided to note on the fact that he was not well-liked at WikiFur.
Big fucking mistake, Xydexx obsessively watches that article. Moar WikiFur talk page drama, moar GreenReaper white knighting. Blogs, LiveJournals, and Twitters were used to insult each other. Refusing to believe he was harrassing a teenager, Xydexx used all his powers of Google-Fu to find somewhere that Equivamp's age was not listed as 15. Soon he struck gold: her YouTube account listed her as 34. Of course, he'd already written a blog entry about her age far before he found it, so
it doesn't matterHE MUST BE PSYCHIC.
After making countless butthurt edits to his article, Equivamp lost interest and moved on to more constructive edits to the wiki. But everyone knows Xydexx never forgets, and he even made a "game" inspired by Equivamp: Equiburp. (link)
A love story turned sour. When Equivamp initially signed up for WikiFur, known pedophile GreenReaper shit his pants with glee at the new furry jailbait at his beck and call that ate up anything he said and sucked his cock more times than any other. However, during the Xydexx melodrama, he decided he didn't like the fact that Equivamp edits ED. His view of her soon turned sour, and he now spends his time making passive-aggressive comments to her. Deeply upset that her furry god has shunned her, there has been a recent and dramatic decline in her edits to WikiFur, while her edits to far superior wiki increased. She also provided his I.P. address, allowing certain information to be dropped on him. Too bad he moved to Texas to work at GameStop.
So how's your sex life Equi?
Born 26 January 1996, when she started editing ED in 14 May 2011 she was 15 years 3 months old. Being an underage furfag on the inernet, there were obviously mounds of horny older males looking to "mate" with Equi. A glance at some of the fine bachelors that lined up for her 7 years ago:
- 2 May 2011 she made a profile for Raliegh "Reyju" Reynolds, affirming awareness he was born 14 July 1994, making him 16 years 9 months old at the time.
- 15 August 2011 (then 5.5 months short of being a 16-year-old-girl) she initiated contact with then-25-year-old Tyciol who reciprocated contact and almost got b& from ED by Junius on August 28 for it. Waiting until 2017 when Equivamp was 21 years old, the decade-crossed admirer responded to her interest in the alt-right and prompted her to score double dubs while expressing her annoyance.
- Beefcake - <&Beefcake> I'll pop your cherry for you Equivamp! (date/diff/source needed)
#ed's take on it
October 2011 conversation:
Equivamp's timeless period piece
It turns out that Equivamp is not only an Asspie Asexual Furry, but also appears to have some system malfunctions in her love-cave-betwixt-the-thighs. She made a journal entry on furafinity.net describing, in all it's horrifying glory, the unusual patterns concerning her bleedy cunt, claiming that it happens too often and is starting to worry her... consequently amusing everyone else.
The cause of this biblical blood flow is currently unknown, but many hypothesize that it was from shoving too many a plastic Simba figurines into her poon, so as to gain some feeble form of sexual gratification, therefore causing a irreversible damage to her vagoo and instigating the strange sexual state she currently finds herself in.
- Chris Chan
- Zach Braff - The only thing uglier than Equivamp.
- Dyke - See for yourself.
- anti-zoo, but has furry pr0n in her favorites. - Equivamp claims to be an
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|Equivamp is part of a series on Aspies.||[Sperg out]|
[It was a dark and stormy night...]
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