Leo Kan aka Genghis
||Choral Music Teacher and Dormitory Advisor
|Leo Kan is an online pedophile activist and a Choral Director/Dormitory Advisor at the Eaglebrook School in Deerfield, MA.
Genghis aka Leo Kan is an online pedophile activist and self-admitted pedophile. He is also the Choral Director and a Dormitory Advisor at the Eaglebrook School, which is a residential boarding school for boys in grades 6-9. He is a serious danger to children, and has admitted to having been involved with at least one young boy in his posts. One of Kan's roommates at the time became concerned about Kan's involvement with the boy, and then warned the boy’s parents to cut off contact. Kan also posts about how he is aware that he shouldn’t be working with or around young boys because of his sexual attraction to them.
Kan's online pedophile activity dates back to 2001; at the same time, he was attending Cornell University and involved with a Christian ministry group that worked with troubled young boys. After graduating Cornell University, he relocated to California and began working with the San Francisco Boys’ Chorus. He has also tried to join the Big Brothers/Big Sisters organization, but was rejected.
"Today I was betrayed by my best friend.
I have known this friend for four years. I live in a house with him and two other roommates. He knows that I am a BL. Tonight, I was surprised that our youth pastor came over to join us for dinner. Afterwards, while all of us were seated in the living room, he said to me,
"What I am going to tell you is going to come as a shock. I hope you'll be able to forgive me. I've told our housemates and youth pastor about it. I felt that it was the only way to help you."
What came was not just a shock. It was the most horrible realization, that the friend whom I had come to trust and confide with for four years, who knew that "BL" was my most closely guarded secret, had decided to tell several other people without my knowledge. It was the worst betrayal I have ever encountered.
My friend, J, and I first met four years ago while we were freshmen in college. Through several circumstances, some of which I deeply regret, he discovered that I was a BL. He is a most devout, conservative Pentecostal Christian, the kind who vehemently believes homosexuality is wrong for example, and that God did not make us this way for a reason. All homosexuals (and BL's) can "change" - it is God's Will - and all you need is very strong faith that God will change you. God does not want you like this. It is wrong and sinful.
In the past four years we have become very close friends. We would, from time to time, have BL/Christianity discussions, with him trying to convince me his ideas, and vice versa. For a long time neither of us agreed with each other. But I thought it was OK - it is good just to discuss it. However, I made it extremely clear to him that I want no-one else to know. Only he knew, at that point, of my BL orientation.
Then when Junior year came, we brought in a third person as our housemate. Unbeknownst to me at that time, my roommate decided to tell him about my BL, for "his safety". Then we invited a fourth person to share an apartment with us for senior year, and J told him as well. When I discovered this today I was deeply, deeply hurt.
Tonight, J told me that he thought the only way he could help me was by telling several other people - namely, our youth pastor and senior pastor, my roommates, and a couple other trusted friends. He said he did this for several reasons.
He had discussed with me for over three years and I never switched to his opinions. Now, he sees how close my young friendship with B got, and he is afraid for the child and afraid that I might molest him. Because I go and stay over at B's house often. He tried to warn me to not stay over at B's house anymore. Of course I refused. The temptation may be too strong, he says. There's a reason why men and women do not sleep in the same room before they're married. You never know what the Devil might do, and temptation is too strong to resist sometimes. It is not worth the risk.
There are so many things I want to say but it's so hard to write it all down. I feel - the worst you can imagine. But I'll try to go on.
I told him that you can believe what you want to, but it ABSOLUTELY GIVES YOU NO RIGHT to tell other people my deepest, darkest secret. He has urged me before to seek help with our pastor and a couple other close friends. But I always told him NO. Because the risk is not worth it. The risk of other people knowing and letting the word spread. It would ruin me. Now it HAS ruined me. I told him the story of Nate, our moderator. How, not too long ago, he came out to his pastor and a few other church officials. He did it because he thought he could trust them, but in the end it turned out extremely badly. It ruined him and his reputation. And I told J the same might happen to me.
He says that the risk was worth it. It was worth the risk, rather than to risk B, my YF, of being molested. I don't know what to say.
But that's not the worst thing he did.
As some of you may have read from my previous postings, I have grown very close to my YF, B. Lately I have been feeling very, very depressed, because I know I can never get as close to B as a normal guy can get with a girl. I can never "marry" B or express my love to him as I truly do. And I know that B will never feel the same feelings for me as I do for him. I was in a very upset state for several weeks in February, and J knew. I talked with him a lot during those few weeks.
Finally, finally, I said to him, I will try your way. For three years I have been steadfast in my position that God must have made us this way for a reason, and we can't change. But I don't want to remain this way. I want to love someone deeply and not feel ashamed about it. If the only way to do so (and the Biblical way, too), is to be heterosexual, then I want to try to change. I'll pray and have faith that our Father God will grant a miracle and change me.
J was estatic. For years he has tried to convince me that change is possible, now I am FINALLY succumbing to his opinion. I have a very sincere heart for God, and I yearn to know Him better, and everyday I prayed to God to let a miracle happen. Of course, such things do not happen overnight - it might not happen for years even, but I had faith in God.
That was one month ago. Then tonight, he said to me that all along my two other housemates had known. And that today, he had told our youth pastor and senior pastor, so that they could try to help and support me. I tell him that the point is not receiving help from well-meaning people. The point is that you betrayed me in the worst way you could have. He maintains that it was the only way he could think of, to "protect" B.
I tell him, if you have done this a few months ago, at least I would have understood your motives slightly even though I would have still disagreed with your actions enormously. But now, you know that I'm genuinely trying to change. That I've taken the important first step, putting complete faith and trust in God. And you still had to tell them. It is as if I surrendered to you, and you still had to shoot me. Why!?
He says that though I had taken the first step, I still did not agree with not staying at B's house overnight. There were also other reasons, for example me wanting to take B on a week-long trip during Spring Break. And a couple other reasons.
And the worst, most scumbag, betraying thing: He says that after discussing with the youth pastor and senior pastor, they decided that this Saturday, they would tell B's parents that I was a BL. For B's safety. And my own (to keep me out of possible temptation).
I tell him, FINALLY I am trying out your "method", and still you backstabbed me. I am hurt beyond anything. I don't know what else to write.
It is morning now, 6 am, and I didn't sleep at all. J says he meant well. And I'm sure he did, in his own skewed, Pentecostal, Jerry-Falwell way. And I'm serious, not sarcastic. But he had to be so self-righteous, so utterly SELF-RIGHTEOUS, to betray his best friend's secret so openly. He says he knew that I would be gravely hurt. But it was the only thing he could have done.
I tell him, you cannot imagine how hurt I am. I would rather NEVER SEE B AGAIN than to have you tell his parents. I would rather NEVER SEE MY DAD AGAIN than to have you tell him (not that he's going to do the latter). That is the extent of my wanting to keep my darkest secret a secret. And it's a secret no more. J is positive that no-one he has told will tell anyone else. But look at what happned to Nate. J says he did this just to "help me". I tell him it is the worst possible thing you could have done.
"Re: A burden relieved
Submitted by Genghis on 2002-11-7 18:06:22, Thursday
In reply to A burdon relieved submitted by Oliver on 2002-11-7 01:20:39, Thursday
What you wrote reminded me of a passage that a friend whom I had "outed" to gave me. It is Ezekiel 3:20.
If a righteous man turns from his righteousness (right doing and right standing with God) and some gift or providence which I lay before him he perverts into an occasion to sin and he commits iniquity, he shall die... he shall die in his sin and his righteous deeds which he has done shall not be remembered.
I know that when I work with boys in youth groups and camps, I am always tempted. I play the piano, so I play in worship teams. I'm even currently coaching a kid in piano. I'm constantly struggling. If we are to help boys, we must do so with a genuine and whole-hearted passion for God. Everything else is secondary. When interacting with kids, we should do so because we love them for who they are and we care for them. But if our relationship with God isn't tight enough, then it's very, very easy to lust. Kids can develop a very close trust in an adult they know (like RF said), and this can place great strain on a Christian who's stuggling with lust. This trust can enable him to easily abuse the kid, but he must always remember God foremost and what a horrible sin it would be if he "lost control". Not to mention the trust that his parents place in him, the law, and many other things!
If Jesus's second coming was today, then I would sure have died. :-( In a way, I'm perverting my gift to an occasion to sin. Because lusting, as harmless as it may sound, is already a sin. If I were the most righteous person around, I should be doing what your church asked you to do - to temporarily cease my relationships with boys until my heart is right and my mind is sound.
"Re: Yes Indeed!
Submitted by Genghis on 2003-03-8 23:21:00, Saturday
In reply to Re: Yes Indeed! submitted by Chris on 2003-03-8 16:47:05, Saturday
Thanks Chris for your message. Smile And thank you everyone for being here for me.
I found out, yesterday, that when I spoke with B's mom Thursday afternoon, she didn't understand or I didn't make it clear to her that I was a BL. She thought I was just homosexual, as did his father. That's why they seemed to be so "understanding". My youth pastor called them up yesterday and made it clear to them. He also had brunch with them this morning, to discuss it further. I talked with B's dad this afternoon. It is a lot different now. To learn that I am a "BL", not just a "homosexual", is very hard on them. Do you remember how B's dad said, in the voicemail, that they still love and accept me, and that I'm welcome at their house again very soon? It's all a farce. It's all fake. Homosexuals are so much more "common" in our society that it's a lot easier to trust them and love them. To them, homosexuality is OK to cope with. BL is a totally different thing. I thought they knew I was BL, that's why I was so ecstatic, so I said I loved them so much, they are so incredible. Now it's different. BL and homosexual are not the same. Now I feel it's more a case of: "you better not touch my son. We still love you and don't want to lose touch with you, but I'm his dad, so... etc."
And yes. They told B. They told him this afternoon. Yes, you remember that his mom said to me Thursday that they won't tell him unless I consented to it. It's all a farce. They thought I was just homosexual. Now they know the truth - they are scared of me. They fear me. They trusted me so much in the past to let me stay over dozens of times. I was such to their son, and their family was such a blessing to me. Now they fear even to let B see me.
I had earlier on in the year applied to Big Brothers/Sisters program. One of the recommendation letters was from my youth pastor. On Thursday, he called them and rescinded his recommendation. I got a letter in the mail today saying I was rejected from the program.
B's family. I loved them so, so much. They're gone. They had accepted me into their family. His DAD waid I was a part of their family!! What happened? What did I do? And my youth pastor. Big Brothers/Sisters? I am ruined in my community.
You have all been so sympathetic to me. God is so wonderful to let me have friends such as you guys. I felt in relative peace yesterday. Today I am almost even more upset than Thursday. B knows now. His parents told him. I wonder how he feels. I wonder if he really knows that I care for him, and I love him. I have shown him and his family so much love, and they have given me so much love back. I needed to feel loved and needed, and they gave me just that. G-a-v-e me.
If it weren't for Jesus. He's the only one who unconditionally loves us all. He's the only one who knows exactly how I feel. He's the only, only one I can truly trust. He always forgives, always loves. He's the only one who really understands. How can all of them, living in the name of Jesus, do this to me? God, Jesus, Holy Spirit......
It's time to live and move on. Thank you so much for listening to me. I really need Jesus's love right now.
"Re: I'm sorry to hear this
Submitted by Genghis on 2003-03-11 02:26:11, Tuesday
In reply to Re: I'm sorry to hear this submitted by PoliteGuest on 2003-03-10 23:15:57, Monday
Thank you very much for your message. Yes, what Dakota said really hit the point. Yesterday night, B's parents invited my three roommates to their home for dinner and to talk. Today I got to speak with B's mom for about an hour on the phone.
My roommates related to me everything they discussed yesterday night. As parents of B, they feel the need to separate us completely to make sure nothing happened to their son. As hard as it is, I understand why they want to do that. I realize that, though my intentions were good, I did not reveal my BL orientation to them and now that they know about it, they have every reason to feel deceived. That is one reason why they don't feel comfortable about me seeing B at all, even with someone else present. If I had been honest and up front in the beginning, one of two things would have happened: I might have been "rejected" by them, or they might have welcomed me with open arms as the parents of your 5-year-old YF have done to you. As I am slowly learning, honesty might have probably been the better choice. Even though many Christian BL's here would argue that, with the world being so cautious and paranoid today, being honest would almost never get you a YF, the "success" stories of you and Dakota are encouraging! If I had been honest with B's parents at first, the disaster scenario would have been to be cut off from B totally, but the good one is that we would have developed a completely trusting friendship. It might have been less close, because the parents would have enacted "safeguards", but it would have been one built on total honesty. I sort of wish that was what had happened.
The second reason why they do not want me to see B is that they think it would hinder my "changing". I'm trying to convert back to being "normal". My friends, even those who betrayed me, feel there's no problem for me to continue serving in church youth ministries and remaining friends with B, so long as I'm really serious about changing. All they're really concerned about is not having me spend the night at B's anymore. Sadly B's parents are more extreme, but maybe it's because they are very emotionally stressed right now. But as parents they have the final word.
I love B very, very, very much. It's so hard to think that I might never see him again, but if I'm trying to change I ought to put my focus in the Lord and not worry on and on about B. I asked his mom to tell B I am very sorry for everything. I wish it hadn't turned out this way. I hope he'll be able to forgive me! Yesterday night I had a dream about his mom, she was waving me to stop on a highway offramp. She was standing by the side of the road. I woke up, and thoughts of B and his family rushed into my mind. I knew I'd "lost" B. I cried myself back to sleep.
Now I've nothing but to put faith and hope into the Lord to guide me. He'll lead me to victory out of this "mess"! One of my friends said that though all this is very, very sad, God may have done it to give me the kick in the b**t I needed. B's mom said that to change, sometimes friendships have to be severed completely, as hard as it may be. I don't agree with her whatsoever (how can cutting off B and my close friendship help!??), but whatever. Whatever happens now, trusting Jesus will help me get through this. He has a bigger plan in store for me.
Lord I love you. God bless you all,
- 2002 post on Christian BoyLovers Forum was hot-linked to the email address email@example.com
- Google search of "firstname.lastname@example.org" email address led to somebody named Leo Kan's home page, title of which includes the name "Genghis"
- On this home page, Leo Kan talks about attending Cornell University and being involved with a Christian music group that ministers to troubled boys.
- Kan's home page also gives his email address as email@example.com; the same email address that is hot-linked to the CBLF pedophile board post; same time frame of 2001-2002
- Google of the above email address also returned post on a car forum from somebody named "Leo" who gave the same email address firstname.lastname@example.org and linked to the same home page as above.
- Clusty search of "Genghis + CBLF" returned a 2002 post by "Genghis" from the CBLF pedophile website's quarterly "newsletter"; Genghis states that he has been involved with youth ministry work and is a music major attending college in upstate New York. This matches with Leo Kan's Cornell University web page information
- Myspace account registered to Genghis_slck@yahoo.com is for Leo Kan – Profile says he was formerly living in the Bay Area of California, graduated from Cornell University (major in music), and began attending Indiana University in 2006 (major in choral conducting)
- Google of "Leo Kan + choir" led to Kan's Zoominfo profile that indicated he was involved with a San Francisco boys' choir in 2003 and that he had graduated from Cornell University (with a thesis on boys' choirs)
- Google of "Leo Kan + Indiana" found him involved with a church choral group in Indiana in 2007; this matches the Myspace info that he started attending Indiana University in 2006
- Google of "Leo Kan + Indiana" also found info that he is now teaching at a grade 6-9 boarding school for boys, and living in one of the dorms. The school newsletter and staff profile picture, Cornell University and Indiana University info etc. all definitely match to the pedophile board member Leo Kan aka "Genghis".
Known Screen Names
Known E-mail Addresses
Last Known Address
271 Pine Nook Road
P.O. Box 7
Deefield, MA 01342
Last Known Employment
Eaglebrook School for Boys in Deerfield, MA. A residential school for elementary school age boys. He's also a dorm adviser.
This is an approved fact.
Kan worked in Taipei American School for one school year, 2015-2016. He was the middle school choir adviser. However, his identity was discovered. The school administration just simply said that he had to leave because of a "special occasion".
Moreover, Kan was very interested in a specific boy, BD M. BD witnessed that he has seen Kan staring at him multiple times.
Submitted by Genghis on 2003-03-11 11:29:47, Tuesday
In reply to Why? submitted by Bach on 2003-03-11 10:09:20, Tuesday
I was attracted to girls up until 12th grade. I had crushes on a few and even asked a couple out. For reasons I do not know of, my feelings gradually changed into attraction to young boys by freshman year of college. Definitely not by choice, though. In a way it's more "plausible" for me to change than some other BLs because I have had hetero attractions before.
It's true that everyone has secrets, and I asked many people the exact same question you're asking, Bach. I say to them, why do you think it was not right of me to keep this a secret from B and his parents? After all, the intentions were good. They tell me that this is not just "any" secret, this is one that has the potential to cause *huge* harm and hurt. It affects B's family directly. Even if I say I would never do anything, and true, nothing did happen in the past half-year, does not matter. I hid this thing from them. The reason I didn't tell them was because I knew they would react this way.
I agree with you Bach. But I understand why they think their way too. Some of my friends say, if I'm not honest, aren't I in a small way being selfish? I don't know. It's like saying, the girl knows if she asks her mom if she could have candy, the mom would say no, so the girl takes it without asking. The difference between us and this analogy, is that I'm an adult, not a little girl. I know what's good for me and for B. I know the consequences if I step out of line. Yes, we're being held to a higher standard than other people. Maybe we should feel honored about that?
God bless all,
If you have any information regarding this individual's current whereabouts, contact us at email@example.com.
is part of a series on evil-unveiled.com.