Evil Jacket Guy
Evil Jacket Guy was first spotted last Thursday at the Protest of Scientology, bearing a gun. It's unclear just how Evil Jacket Guy came to be, but sources say that he used to be an old teamster, and sold out Jimmy Hoffa and that's how he died. In addition, we firmly believe that in the final apocalyptic battle, Evil Jacket Guy will actually pull his piece and try and shoot Wise Beard Man in the beard, killing his body, but ultimately failing to kill the beard. The Beard will then fire a massive energy ray that will destroy the world, as well as Evil Jacket Guy.
Evil Jacket Guy In Action!
- Evil Jacket Guy works for the Church of Scientology because his retirement plan fell through.
- Evil Jacket Guy is unable to divide by zero.
- Evil Jacket Guy is a descendant of Colonel Sanders, and that's where his gun came from.
- Tool lead singer Maynard James Keenan stated in an interview that before a performance in a Scientologist church, an unnamed man briefly showed him that he was carrying a gun. That man is believed to be Evil jacket guy.
- Evil Jacket Guy is part of the Evil Trinity that will rise up at the end of the world.