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Evolution

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Evolution is also known as "The Theory of Natural Selection" or in common terms "survival of the fittest". Simply put, think of Nature as one big Internet: an anarchic competitive hellhole where life changes all the time so that the best, strongest and smartest in the environment will survive and reproduce furthermore into the gene pool. The weak on the other hand, die off or get eaten. Evolution was proposed in the 18th century by Charles Darwin when he discovered the Nigger, the Genetic "Missing Link" between Humans and apes. It explains why, even if the Negroid species outcompeted their simian relatives in the native jungles of Africa, they were absolutely destroyed when the Human Race arrived.

Fascists like Hitler, atheists like Richard Dawkins, and Fascist Atheists like Nietzsche and pol/ absolutely love Evolution because first, it was proof that you don't need God to create complex life on Earth, and second, it justified and made Natural Law the eradication of retards, niggers, faggots, and the incompetent from the face of the Earth. However, it is the same scientific theory that both sides of the political spectrum (the Religious Right and left-leaning SJWs) absolutely despise and try to deny never existed, the Right because it meant that their Bible was all wrong, and the left because it meant that pwning niggers is a-OK.

And How to Kill off the Lesser Members of Your Species[edit]

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Evolutionists are all Nazi white supremacists. We know this for a fact because evolution says that nature intentionally kills off the lesser members of a species for the benefit of the stronger members. Thus evolutionists must help this process along, just as believers in heliocentrism must help the planet revolve around the sun. Evolution is directly responsible for the following:

The Holocaust[edit]

Oh, I say!
An example of natural selection at work.

Mr. Hitler (catholic) tried to maintain the purity of his beloved race by trying to exterminate the Jews, niggers, faggots and gypsies who were contaminating his country. As well as sampling deep-fried kike, Hitler also used a much older and more friendly method of ensuring these undesirables could not breed:

Eugenics[edit]

Where you need to go.
 
 
It has now become a serious necessity to better the breed of the human race. The average citizen is too base for the everyday work of modern civilization.
 

 

—Sir Francis Galton, Charles Darwin's cousin.

 
 
If nature does not wish that weaker individuals should mate with the stronger, she wishes even less that a superior race should intermingle with an inferior one; because in such cases all her efforts, throughout hundreds of thousands of years, to establish an evolutionarily higher stage of being, may thus be rendered futile.
 

 

Hitler, expressing evolutionist sentiment in Mein Kampf.

Sadly, Hitler couldn't finish the fucking job and now the Jews rule world. Thank you very much Adolf.

Eugenics, basically, is cutting off a person's balls, or ovaries, because they are too stupid to breed. However noble this may sound, for some odd reason the vast majority of people who believe in evolution don't like it. Hypocrites.
For all the arguments against it, all it usually takes is one 30 minute viewing of such golden jewtube celebrities like Chris Chan, pewdiepie and/or littlekuriboh to get even the most ardent proponent against eugenics to reverse their stance and to start writing congress demanding an immediate reinstatment of such policies.

The Darwin Awards[edit]

Instead of killing other lesser lifeforms, some especially inferior humans helpfully exterminate themselves. This has led to a set of awards named after Charles Darwin.[1]

Niggers and Evolution[edit]

Niggers are the missing link between man and ape. The could imitate human behaviour, but were still too stupid to create their own civilization. Niggers cannot invent, construct structures, cook, solve puzzles, comprehend mathematics, and so forth, because they lack the prefrontal cortex which only evolved in modern Humans.

In recent years, a massive infection caused by parasitic alien brainwashing led to an unnatural phenomenon of reversing the process of Evolution itself: by making niggers reproduce with Humans. However, doing so will ensure that the Human Race will die off from inherent nigger diseases. Since the birth rate in Europe has gone way down, while the arab and nigger immigrants multiply like bunnies, this means that Europe will be sand nigger country in a few years, all for the benefit of said alien parasites.


An unusual case of an unevolved black person living in a semi-evolved country
Unevolved nigger.jpg
A she-boon chimps out over evolution
   
 
How does evolution kill black people?
 

 
 

—Jonatha Carr, A stupid nigger

Famous Evolutionists[edit]

Charles Darwin[edit]

Charles Darwin contributed to the theory of evolution after examining his black person slave, Harpo, on his secret cotton plantation one day in Sussex England and determined that there was no possible way that he wasn't a descendant of the bastard love child of Curious George and Alvin the Gorilla. However, due to growing racial sensitivities in Europe and abroad, Darwin decided to hide this fact and lied claiming some bullshit about how he had discovered transitional changes within a species after examining the penises of dodo birds on some Pacific island that no one gives a fuck about. Apparently, one bird on the right palm tree had a foot long penis while the one on the left had a two inch penis when fully erect.

After his new book, "Origin of Species" totally pwned biblical creation and became accepted by virtually everyone. Darwin's new theory of human origins made Charles Darwin one of the richest and most illustrious men in the world while Harpo received little to no credit for his master's discovery leaving him irate and pushy, thus coining the phrase "Harpo know sumpn you don' know!" In later years, Harpo also became a central figure for failed fiction authors who wrote novels based upon the life of Harpo such as "Harpo 'n'da white woman" and "Memoirs of Harpo while hangin' from da ole' oak tree one Sunday evenin' after rapin' 'n' killin' dat white woman and throwin' her body in da dumpsta". These books were highly unsuccessful compared to the much more popular latter works like "Harpo goes to town", "Harpo in Space" and "Harpo don't know nuttin' bout buthin' no babies". Twentieth Century Fox contemplated buying the rights to "Harpo in Space" and turning it into a major motion picture but decided against it at the last minute and came up with some extremely gay shit called "Planet Of The Apes" instead starring Moses and that yuppie, faggot from New Kids On The Block.

 
 
The main perpetrator of this monkey lie is Charles Darwin. He claims to have developed this "theory" after studying "finches" on the Galapagos "Islands," but I can guess why he really came up with it. He was on the Galapagos Islands for spring break, got smashed, woke up in bed next to a monkey, and then had to come up with a theory that made it all okay.
 

 

Stephen Colbert on Charles Darwin.

Richard Dawkins[edit]

Noted troll of Godfags Richard Dawkins uses the theory of evolution to prove God does not exist and that anyone who thinks so is a monkey who should be sterilized. He's also an advocate for animal rights, though obviously this does not include the right not to be castrated. Dawkins is noted as having sex with a bald transvestite teacher from a town known as south park.

Stanley Miller[edit]

Last Thursday, Stanley Miller created piss out of soup and electricity, compelling every evolutionist around the world to simultaneously jizz their superior laboratory coats. After forcing their pet monkeys to lick their coats clean, they issued a public announcement that the creation of urine is infallible proof that a living, metabolizing cell arose from the aforementioned prehistoric chowder.

The Future of Evolution[edit]

The next step in the evolution process for man is androgyny, as represented by Marilyn Manson. Most agree that this is fucked up, however most evolutionists have the desire to evolve into such a form, as they are sick fucks who want to suck themselves off and fondle their own breasts. The concept of de-evolution states that mankind is devolving into violent, brain-eating apes. This concept more specifically states that we are devolving into LJ Users and shitty Linux groupware suites.

South Park Explains Evolution[edit]

"In the beginning we were all fish... okay... swimming around in the water. And then one day a couple of fish had a retard baby, and the retard baby was different, so it got to live.

So retard fish goes on to make more retard babies, and then one day a retard baby fish crawled out of the ocean with its... mutant fish hands... and it had... butt-sex with a squirrel or something, and made this retard frog-squirrel, and then that had a retard baby which was a monkey-fish-frog, and then this monkey-fish-frog had butt-sex with that monkey; that monkey had a mutant retard baby that screwed another monkey and that made you. So there you go.

...You're the retarded offspring of five monkeys having butt-sex with a fish-squirrel. Congratulations!"

Evolution Proven Wrong by a Creatard[edit]

Evolution proven wrong in 2.5 minutes

Videos of Idiot Atheist on Evolution[edit]

bbbut muh missing link
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Techniques For Promoting Evolution OL[edit]

Present A United Front

Apply Diplomacy

Use Logic

  • Sci Thread Archive from Usenet.com
    • "Soroty? What's a sotory, you illiterate fuck? What are eys? I'll tell you what they are - yet another in an endless blather of excuses from the asswipe who claimed there were colossal holes in the Theory of Evolution."

Tactfully Renounce Creationism

Gallery[edit]

[Collapse GalleryExpand Gallery]

Evolution Gone Wrong[edit]

Evolution into a furfag.

External Links[edit]

See Also[edit]

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Featured article September 18, 2005
Preceded by
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Evolution Succeeded by
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