- Web IRC
Store #2711, located on Kodiak Island, just off the Alaskan coast.
Walmart and Sheets Brand energy strips had launched a campaign to bring Spanglish rapper Pitbull to whichever local Walmart that gained the most Facebook likes between June and July. Seeing an opportunity, David Thorpe and Jon Hendren began posting "#ExilePitbull" all over the Something Awful forums to ensure everyone there would vote for Kodiak's Walmart store on Failbook. They also tweeted the same hashtag all over Twatter to make sure their faggot followers would vote too.
The ball was then passed to Reddit, which instantly gave thousands of likes to the Kodiak store. The local residents from Kodiak nearly shat their parkas and published photos from inside the store, inviting Shitbull to go there.
A week before the campaign ended, Pitbull already knew that he was about to be shipped off to a desolate ice land, and that he was the victim of an internet prank, much like the one before where fans had voted to send Justin Bieber to North Korea. Pitbull, also known as the Mexican Moby, feared polar bear attacks during his visit, and invited David Thorpe to go with him as revenge for the prank.
The two of them landed on the island, where they were immediately invited to fish and play ice hockey. Pitbull declined and went straight to the Walmart igloo, where he was acclaimed by the locals and the bears. Afterward, he was coaxed into taking a trip around the frozen tundra, taking photos with everyone he could find and yell "Hey, I'm Pitbull! You know, the rapper? No? Well, I'm famous, so let's take a picture, amigo!" to.
Pitbull received the key to the city of Kodiak from the mayor, which granted him access into any locked door in the entire town. He used this opportunity to take Dragon dildos as souvenirs and was inspired to jot down some related lyrics for future hit songs.
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