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Fake Bisexual

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Fake Bisexuals in their natural environment.
  1. An attempt by college girls to prove how open they are with their sexuality, although they need to be reminded that holding hands and kissing isn't being "bisexual." You've gotta get in there and do the deed. For the boys, it's another attempt to prove that they're cool and "sensitive", but they probably won't go for the cock when the time comes to suck.
  2. An Emo, Scene, Bitch, Fag who is too big of a pussy to come out of the closet all the way, so they say they still like pussy but deep down inside they only want cock up their ass.
  3. An half coming out done by an homo fag who thinks they'll be less ass-pwned by saying they're bi, not realizing they'll face the same problems plus a couple moar, and then after admitting they really only ride the gaymobile they'll go bitch about how every bi out there is a closeted ghey. If you have done it or are thinking about doing it, please do the right thing.
  4. Guys who are so desperate that they'll do anyone, any time.

Characteristics

Fake bisexuals are well known by the plasticky, Auton-like sheen on their bodies, and the fact that even though they may claim to like teh cock / pussy (usually pussy) they are in fact only doing it to impress men. Even if they are actually men themselves.

Fake bisexuals are insane, depressed and suffer from a malady of internet diseases. They hate missing out on anything so they are ironically always thirty seconds too late. Their sexual indecision, more often than not, reflects their overall attitude to life. They are more often than not liars and white. Generally, they are LiveJournal or Myspace users suffering an extreme case of emo. Fake bisexuals are known to have many personality transplants at ANY given time, often after having buttsecks or scissoring, in order to deal with their christian/religious guilt and will totally mindfuck anyone of the same sex who had the unfortunate business of fucking them to begin with. It is in the best interests of humanity if such individuals are quarantined, preferably behind an electric fence from the rest of society, until such time they can fucking grow a pair and act like a man and less like a complete pussy, something they do not want in reality.

Any group of Fake Bisexuals will generally be a sorry crowd with one unifying characteristic: they're fucking ugly and can't get any, so they're forced into what they claim is bisexuality as a way of increasing their dismal chances. These groups' existence serve to compound real bisexuals' extreme difficulty in finding attractive, relatively stable dates. (Compare: swingers)

Bi-Curious

How to explain daddy's new 'special friend' to your eight-year-old.
A step behind even fake bisexuals, legitimately bi-curious people with cock crave teh cock while those with pu55y crave teh pu55y, but are too chicken-shit to do anything about it. Others, however, like fake bisexuals are merely in it for the street cred (see, for example, Daddy's Money Lesbian).

Most 'Bisexual' people like werewolves, on like a full moon or whatever the fuck they either like it in their pooper, or like to eat teh_carpet. so I have been told.

It is common for virgins to be bi-curious, and often they will have sex with the same sex before having sex with the opposite sex. This often causes them to realize they were actually never really bisexual in the first place. Bi-curious people who only have sex with the same gender often consider themselves homosexual, but make the same discovery that they were really horny and desperate.

Breeders often confess their bi-curiousity to fags in an attempt to create some kind of cocksucker solidarity. What they fail to realise, however, is that this is as lame as telling a black guy you once had a really deep tan.

In other words, a bi-curious woman is any girl who has had at least 2 or 3 beers.

Exceptions

Scientists and gas station attendants estimate there are approximately 71 actual bisexual people in the world. They include Vin Diesel, Channing Tatum, Roseanne, Glenn Beck, you, Anne Coulter, and Hoveround. All of these people are sick perverts and should be approached only with kevlar underwear and a drink-spiking test kit. If you wish to remove one from existence, just use a nuke; it's the only way to kill one.

See also

External links

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