Fchan is supposed to be the furry(er) equivalent of 4chan, just without the /b/, freedom of speech, lulz, or anything good. It should be avoided like the plague. It's run by Sage Nadia, who is responsible for the arbitrary board setup, banning freedom of speech and tightass rules. He isn't listed among the people running the site lest he actually be held accountable for anything, but he still holds absolute power. Questioning this or any of his other decisions is a great way to get b&.
The DNP List
People on the DNP list are self important losers who think that it makes them seem more important if they don't let people distribute their work. Even considering that it's the Internet and no one in their right mind should actually give a shit, the mods work valiantly to make sure that the shitty furry artists of the world don't get butthurt when their art is posted on an overly strict image board that they would never know about anyway. Often, its users will try and kiss up to the mods by marking every single fucking picture they see DNP. Never fear, the furries are here!
I have to go kill myself now.
"This is /a/ah/ material!"
Whenever someone posts a picture containing a fetish (despite the fact that furry is a fetish), the mods will often swoop in and state "this is /a/ah/ material!" (/a/ being "Alternative" and /ah/"Alternative (hard)"(Honestly, what's even the fucking difference?) They will then proceed to vaporize it off the intertubes forevar. Because of course, a picture of two wolves screwing each other in the ass while wearing leather bondage is so much worse than a picture of two wolves screwing each other in the ass. Despite that it's all fur faggotry, the mods think they're making a difference, even though it just makes the furries angrier. Yet, they still kiss up to the mods anyway. Evidence shows that this is caused by furries having small brains, even smaller than the animals they think they are.
This has been further confused lately by Nadia unilaterally deciding that all Pokémon content, no matter how nasty, be placed in the /Toon/ board, lest the members of /AH/ get their sensibilities upset by seeing something too cute for their sensitive eyes. Lulz ensued because he neglected to tell any of the other moderators about this, resulting in many a furry posting their truly obscene cartoon material to the /Toon/ board, then getting their picture or thread deleted, and a summary ban handed out for posting nasty stuff in the wrong board, while he still happily deletes material he deems too cartoony on the /ah/ board, and bans those who posted it for going against his sudden arbitrary ruling.
Oh yeah, and questioning this in any way also results in a ban. This includes such basic actions as asking "Why?", "How cartoony is too toony?" and "What is WRONG with you?". At this current rate, experts expect so many new rules within the week that the website will simply be set to Permaban anyone who posts anything just to streamline the process.
How to troll FChan
- F40PH! lots and lots of F40PH pics (do not enter F40PH in any of the text fields or you will get auto B&).
- Invade the latest thread devoted to Balto and claim you're the real Klaus Doberman (don't ask).
- Post goatse at the proper opportunity.
- Start a thread like "furries being killed by humans." This shit actually works because they think its another fetish. And many lulz will be had by all.
- Post porn on the clean board, and Clean stuffs on Alternative boards
- Talk about LULZ, /furi/ or Paws.ru
- Say loud and clear a furry is just a drawing and nothing else.
- Critique sincerely and professionally anything posted on /artist/ or /crit/, they'll turn batshit and it's by far the best way to get banned for not liking Jim Hardiman's 12yo coloring style.
How to Get Banned
The mods on Fchan are the most fucking Nazi-esque mods you will ever encounter, slamming the banhammer on anyone who complains about an irrational rule the mods put into place, asks why the mods did something, argues about the DNP list, breathes incorrectly, or jerks off with their left hand (seriously, though, if you pull your pud with your left hand, you are a Jew).
Recently, FurryJustice, a division of PervertedJustice, sent a young 14 year old into the Fchan IRC. Lulz were expected, perhaps not this much, though.
10:23 Anon_The_Third Hullow, jsr20 Anon_The_Third Also, JET SET RADIOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO 10:24 jsr20 Do a barrel roll! Mietz rolls jsr20 xD Anon_The_Third With or without sticking it in a pooper? jsr20 x3 Blux wow anon Blux wow 10:25 Anon_The_Third I figured he was here to spew memes, that's one of them Blux lol Anon_The_Third "In b4 barrel roll, pooper, etc." jsr20 O.o Spam is eval 10:26 Anon_The_Third Hahah Anon_The_Third spams the chan regularly with definitions Anon_The_Third For example Anon_The_Third PREPARE Anon_The_Third In some programming languages, eval is a function which ''eval''uates a string as though it were an expression and returns a result; in others, it executes multiple lines of code as though they had been included instead of the line including the eval. Anon_The_Third Eval-like functions are more common in interpreted languages than in compiled languages, since including one in a compiled language would require including an interpreter or compiler with the program, and more runtime information (such as variable names). Some compiled languages do have something similar to an eval function, see below. 10:27 Anon_The_Third END TRANSMISSION jsr20 lol varek fuck off you retard Blux Whats your line count Blux ? 10:28 Anon_The_Third Iunno, I don't feel like checking Anon_The_Third Varek, was that to me? Anon_The_Third Sheesh... varek guess jsr20 Deviantart just ruined my perception of life Maiq Hey look, it's Wee Todd! jsr20, don't you have a bridge to be guarding? Tenchi lol jsr20 I did but it's gone now. O.o 10:29 Maiq Awww. Anon_The_Third chuckles Maiq plays the world's smallest violin Tenchi plays the 2nd Tenchi woo sterio! varek stereo jsr20 I like the sound but.. 10:30 jsr20 it could of used more cowbell Maiq So, jsr20, fans want to know: How are you going to fail next? TerrorBite wheels in a giant cowbell in a frame. jsr20 I'm going to pretend to be straight jsr20 D: jsr20 epic fail insures TerrorBite *ensues jsr20 lolz TerrorBite D Anon_The_Third Is there something I'm missing here? People are being cunts and I'm not sure why. TerrorBite even 10:31 Aglaia continues chasing invisible goblins varek i was always a cunt, dumbass. Maiq Anon, jsr20 came in trolling yesterday Anon_The_Third Ah, okay. jsr20 I was being a douche yesterday jsr20 10:32 Anon_The_Third Varek: I'm not used to you popping up to hurl poorly worded insults at me. varek poorly worded ? varek 'fuck off you retard' is timless and very apt. varek timeless even Tenchi yea 10:33 Anon_The_Third At least use a comma varek you're not worthy of my grammar. Anon_The_Third The hell did I do to you, anyway? 10:34 jsr20 It's kind of like what I did yesterday Anon, it had no meaning and was quite idiotic. jsr20 Maybe Varek just likes to do random shit. varek well i'm sorry if i don't appreciate some retard pasting what 'eval' is into a channel chat for no reason. 10:35 jsr20 exactly Anon_The_Third T'was an example. TerrorBite 'eval' is a programming keyword, short for 'evaluaton' Tenchi we need ascii porn TerrorBite *Evaluation Anon_The_Third No, no we don't Tenchi Anon_The_Third XD jsr20 Thats not what your mother said. Oooh. Burn. <== Example of overused shit. Maiq 8======D O: <- ASCII porn 10:36 Blux lol maiq 10:37 varek thanks for sharing, jsr20 jsr20 changes nick to fail_smith varek err varek actually fail_smith ;o varek make that captain obvious varek from now on fail_smith lolz varek hands fail_smith a paper hat fail_smith woot varek enjoy. 10:38 Anon_The_Third 8===): lulz 10:39 Maiq 8======D~~ ~~ ~~OX 10:40 Maiq This is so retarded it's funny fail_smith not as much as yesterday fail_smith fail_smith >:[ Anon_The_Third >:3 Blux Wait...you weren't trolling furnet the other day were you? 10:41 fail_smith I don't really remember fail_smith >.> Tenchi lol fail_smith mind you, I don't REALLY hate furries. fail_smith >.> varek you should do fail_smith My friend isone. varek we're all awful people 10:42 varek worse than christians varek even worse than vegetarians Anon_The_Third Varek's probably right, there. 10:43 Mietz i hate myself for it even fail_smith and why is that Blux Oh yes so awful. 10:44 varek come on guys, group self harm session. TerrorBite We're worse than Jehova's Witnesses. Mietz hits himslef with a whip on the back varek gets the kleenex and pointy things. TerrorBite Or even Mormons. Mietz *whip whip* fail_smith never 10:45 Mietz starts jamming scissors into his crotch fail_smith xO Blux 0_o Mietz *jam jam whip* Anon_The_Third Guys, Guys, holdon a second. varek gouges eyes with hot coals. Anon_The_Third What the fuck are you doing. fail_smith omg Maiq They're self-hating Mietz out out demons of furryness 10:46 Mietz !!! Anon_The_Third ... Anon_The_Third Proceed. fail_smith random moment varek purging! TerrorBite OUT DAMN SPOT! *kicks a dog out of the door* Mietz looks at varek and is jeallous of vareks bigger selfhate 10:47 Mietz he goes to a gym, i cant beat that in selfhate D: Maiq lol Blux lawls Maiq checks his pants... yup, his demons of furryness are alive and well ^^ Maiq Evil is gewd. 10:48 fail_smith Bob Saget > Evil Mietz can i wear a miniskirt while jamming my scissors into my crotch? Blux maybe later Blux >> Blux << Maiq Sure, but only if you moan like a whore when you're doing it Miertz Maiq Mietz* Mietz moans like a whore Mietz *jam jam whip* Maiq Okies, here's a miniskirt 10:49 Mietz puts it on and jams furiously moaning Anon_The_Third This cannot be PG-13 10:50 Maiq Hey! It's guro! Quick, get a camera! Blux phones in gurochan Anon_The_Third goes to gurochan for the lulz every once in a while. Anon_The_Third Goddamn the stories are just downright hilarious Maiq Anon: It's PG-13, barely Maiq I think 10:51 fail_smith jabbing your crotch with scissors warrents at least a pg rating Maiq well, until one of the @'s or %'s comes in and yells at us Anon_The_Third holds his hands above his head Anon_The_Third I'm not part of this! Anon_The_Third leaves to go get some breakfast fail_smith omg burn him Anon_The_Third is away| Fudz. 10:52 Maiq I need something to eat, too >.< Maiq changes nick to MaiqAFK fail_smith I have some chocolate in my trunk. Blux .... MaiqAFK Yeah, I'll pass on that thx 10:53 fail_smith *pulls a candy bar out of his car's trunk* It's 100 grand. fail_smith Well I gotta brb.. fail_smith I need to drop the kids off at the pool and sit down and proccess some shit Mietz pours gasoline over himself and ignites 10:54 TerrorBite But the pool's closed? Blux salutes smith TerrorBite couldn't resist Blux never got the whole "pools closed" meme 10:55 Mietz runs through the channel naked TerrorBite Something to do with, there was this pool in an MMORPG, and then someone with AIDS went for a swim in it, and then everyone got AIDS? Or something... TerrorBite Mietz, I did that earlier... 10:56 fail_smith I never knew private parts could hang down so low. fail_smith O.o Mietz yeah, but you werent burning at the time Blux ooooo Mietz runs through the channel naked AND burning Mietz i win 10:57 fail_smith Some furries are always on fire and naked. Dragons? (O.o) 10:58 TerrorBite http://www.encyclopediadramatica.com/Pool%27s_closed fail_smith oh that place fail_smith Why did they close TerrorBite http://www.encyclopediadramatica.com/The_Great_Habbo_Raid_of_July_2006 10:59 fail_smith I mean mcdonalds doesn't pay great but damn fail_smith habbo is fun to spam 11:00 fail_smith o.o there's a creepy show on witches on 11:01 fail_smith omg they burned themselves to find purity O.o; Blux Thats one way too do it 11:02 fail_smith sets Blux on fire fail_smith k Blux runs around screaming Blux wait...didn't christians burn them anyways? 11:03 fail_smith it says people who thought they were witches fail_smith even non christians fail_smith they would drown them fail_smith or burn them at a stake fail_smith O.o Mietz sits down in a corner still burning 11:04 fail_smith roasts a hotdog over Mietz fail_smith good eatin' Mietz eats it Blux changes nick to Blux|out fail_smith T.T 11:05 Mietz nomnomnom fail_smith pours acid on Mietz Mietz drinks it 11:07 fail_smith >[ *stuffs Mietz into a cannon and fires him into North Korea* Mietz returns 11:08 fail_smith what did you bring back Mietz REVOLUTION! fail_smith omg hasta la vista *moves to Canacia* 11:10 Aglaia continues hunting invisible butterflies 11:11 fail_smith o.o 11:18 Mietz lets have a racist coffee 11:20 Anon_The_Third Vivaaaa la reee-voo-lution Anon_The_Third :3 Adicts. Anon_The_Third The Adicts rather. 11:21 -> loofa has joined fchan loofa Hello Mietz RACIST 11:22 Anon_The_Third Heyyo, loofa Mietz oh, i mean hi loofa loofa Hehe Anon_The_Third Hey, he said hi without attempted homicide! Anon_The_Third You've come a long way, loofa Anon_The_Third XD loofa Yay! 11:23 Mietz stabs loofa loofa Awwww Anon_The_Third Ooh, not that long of a way loofa Hehe loofa Getting ready for a show Mietz burns you and fries in hot oil, munches Anon_The_Third mumbles something about 'getting ready for your mom' loofa Anon_The_Third XD 11:24 loofa Awright, gotta go loofa See you guys later loofa Gonna play some music! <- loofa has disconnected (Connection reset by peer) Mietz that was like the loudest "I WANT ATTENTION" shout i ever read Mietz <.< 11:25 Anon_The_Third sits on ch- Anon_The_Third She left again D: Mietz come in, tell what you do, and leave again Mietz he really needs friends Anon_The_Third That's loofa for you :/ Mietz yeah 11:26 Mietz like totally Anon_The_Third gags himself with a spoon 11:31 Anon_The_Third reboots in attempts to get his second monitor up <- Anon_The_Third has disconnected (Quit: Trillian (http://www.ceruleanstudios.com) 11:39 -> Nero has joined fchan 11:41 Mietz http://www.furaffinity.net/view/703966/ Mietz :D[[User:PervertedFurryJustice|PervertedFurryJustice]] 11:43 TerrorBite <3 DarkNek0gami 11:44 Mietz YES Mietz win²
Fail_Smith was the username used to find out information, the decoy was made to appear as a simple kind-hearted douche who had apologized for a few days ago when he trolled the IRC with join flooding. In this way, he was granted to stay in a private pm by one of the admins, and able to record the following. PFJ has taken this and reported it to various outlets capable of handling the lulz factor.
Furries and Butthurtness
Some furries may resort to reporting your ip to the major IRC channels as done with several of PFJ's accounts. This can be remedied by simply changing your ip address or bypassing the server client. Nice try, furfags.
Cub Art? In MY Fchan?
For the longest time, all depictions of underage furfags (aka cub pr0nz) had been exiled to /ah/, amongst the sickfuckiest of sick fuck furfaggotry known on the internet. Yet somehow if the picture is of a copyrighted character, the age and action depicted doesn't fucking matter, and said pr0n can be posted in /toon/. This makes no fucking sense. But then again, when have furfags EVER made any god damn sense?
Recently Xenofur (the Fchan admin) outlawed all depictions of cub pr0n, citing some imaginary U.S. law. This triggered butthurt and drama across the entire fandom, especially due to the fact that /toon/ was somehow, again, exempt from this law.
Also, making a topic about cub art in /dis/ is a surefire way to get yourself b&, because Xenofur is easily butthurt that anyone would even fucking dare question his/her/its infallible law.
UPDATE: Xenofur posted in a "ban trap" thread (see left image) which Sage Nazia created for the purpose of "trawling" and weeding out anyone who disagrees with him. Xeno, not wanting to seem "speshulz" promptly b&'z himself for For Great Justice. Some humorless, ass-kissing furfag tattles to Xeno about this entry on ED and he edits it, but fails to add any lulz. Vandalism has been countered by preventative copypasta.
List of Boards
- /b/ - not the random board, the "banner" board, but seriously who gives a shit?
- /s/ - For straight furry pr0n. Has been collecting dust for at least 100 years. As of now has become the new straight/bi board
- /f/ - Composed entirely of separate threads devoted to every single female Sonic the Hedgehog character.
- /m/ - The main attraction of Fchan. Composed entirely of cocks, furfags and Neko Bridget Shota.
- /h/ - Furry Dickgirls. Beach ball boobs and arm-length dicks à la Doug Winger.
- /toon/ - As if Fchan Law wasn't already extremely confusing, the mods introduced a board for posting cartoon related porn. This board is also filled up with at least 100 different threads devoted to Tails.
- Rule 34 is supposed to go here, but it's not heavily enforced.
- /a/ah/ - Devoted to posting the creepiest shit possible, (unless it's deemed "too cartoony", then it's /toon/ material.) as if furry porn itself weren't fucked up enough. have a look and now that your eyes are ruined, feel free to look at the pain series.
- /c/ - For christian furries who would feel like dirty heathens for masturbating to porn, despite the fact that God considers all furries to be fucking abominations.
- /tent/ - Deleted after everyone realized it made no sense to have a board devoted entirely to one fetish.
- /flash/ - Deleted after [some furfag] collected every single Flash animation before the weekly maintenance, and then reposted all of them, turning the board into /r9k/ due to the fact that the shit-for-brains usual users couldn't figure out what the fuck to do.
- /crit/ - Furry circle jerk where furries post their crappy artwork and yiff each other in the butt.
- /artist/ - For "artistic" furries to pump their e-gos and characters full of helium.
If you are a closet furfag and frequent 4chan /b/, /ic/ or any open imageboard with, or even without a /furi/ board; you have probably witnessed the following attempted Chemo. Encouraged by Sage Nadia and Christian Walde(AKA Xenofur), people were trying to spread fchan on closet-fur imageboards, accompanied by the usual anti-furry spam.
Procedure of the spammers: pick some popular furry's art, stick some huge text, censor it and encourage by any means the banning of furries from 4chan, and try to encourage members of lulz.net to leave and post on Fchan. Keep up the good work, guys! We need more Chemo!
- Warning: presence of Trojans and Worms reported, make sure your Firefox/Opera is up to date before any eventual raid.
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