Final Fantasy XV
|This article needs moar pics, internets, lulz.|
You can help by .
Final Fantasy XV is Square-Enix's fagship action RPG nearly 10 years in the making which is completely dumbfounding considering how dated the fetch and kill quests are. Doing what the do best, squeenix got the hype train rolling by pushing this game back so many times all of their neck beard weeaboo fans were creaming their pants with anticipation. What they got was a copypasta of kingdom hearts except now donald is an annoying blonde fag named Prompto but keeping the donald fashion alive by dying 5 seconds into any enemy encounter you have whether it be the same dogs you fight the first 8 hours of the game or the hordes of nearly impossible Niggertek soldiers that won't let you move 2 feet on the "beautiful" yet completely barren and vacated in game world. This is the result of ten years of hard work. Glitches that put Bethsheda to shame are littered throughout and its funny considering that they pushed the release date back to month to "fix" these issues. Then release a patch on day one that took 2 hours two download and literally just changed some in game text.
The story begins with our boy band pushing their fucking Rolls-Royce through the desert while that bitch Florence wails 'Stand By Me' (so much for it being a fantasy game) on the BEATS BY DRE radio. You are then plagued with the unfortunate news that your father has died. Square-Enix actually expects you to watch their shitty CGI movie, so they decided that they cannot fill in the gaping plot holes in the entire story, including moments where characters literally leave the party and come back with scrapes and bruises with no explanation at all. This is coupled with the fact that the game revisits Final Fantasy XIII in its latter half. You'll find yourself wanting to drop a toaster in the tub next time you bathe because you actually paid 90$ for the special addition you fag. Story ends with a gigantic cliffhanger that makes absolutely no sense, but coming from a place where their number one export is tentacle porn, it makes a lot of damn sense.
Square Enix keeping the tradition alive of bland and completely transparent main characters. Crown prince of insomnia. Shows little to no emotion even toward his hot British bride to be. Cloud has really evolved over the years huh?
The character the game shouldve been about but Japans boner for feminine male leads pushed him into supporting cast. Only party member smart enough to get the fuck out of the way when using the sketchy and unpredictable magic system.
Also see: Auron
Chef of the party who also likes throwing knives. Always comes up with new recipes and has to remind you about it every 10 minutes. Goes blind later in the story, because why the fuck not, and becomes utterly useless until the 10 year time skip.
Meg of the gang. Gets shit on by the other characters for being a faggot. Has a Chocobo fetish and likes taking pictures of Cindy naked. Was supposed to be a guinea pig for science experiments as a baby but got saved out of sheer luck.
- Copypasted fetch quests
- On rails
- Customizable with paint and decals
Widely praised by Westerners for being open-world, having little story or character development to distract you from the prittee grafix, and a simplistic, button-mashing battle system with a glorified "blink" ability ripped straight from Dishonored.
Final Fantasy XV is part of a series on
Visit the Gaming Portal for complete coverage.
|Final Fantasy XV is a Bad New Article. You can help by
See the template page for more info.