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This is meant to be a quick overview of how to effectively, legally troll someone over the internet, in the form of a debate. Note that these instructions are for quick, blatant trolling. If you want to really get under an entire community's skin, try PsyOps.
- 1 Ground Rules
- 2 Tips
- 3 Prolonged Arguments
- 4 Sites to Troll
- 4.1 Forums
- 4.2 Social Networking
- 4.3 IRC
- 5 See Also
- DO NOT USE CAPS LOCK, EXCEPT IN A CONDESCENDING MANNER TO MOCK THEIR USE OF CAPS LOCK.
- Always strive to use perfect (or nearly perfect) grammar and spelling.
- Do not directly insult them or appear angry, as this gives them the impression that they're gaining ground. (Note that a skilled troll can sometimes use this to their advantage with a sort of bait-and-switch maneuver.)
While the ground rules are important, here are a few simple ways to make yourself seem more intelligent.
- Use '--' and ';' correctly, so as to make yourself seem more intelligent.
- Base trolls on actual situations; Use facts to build up a lie.
- To rebut an argument, break their post down into quotes, and rebut them sentence-by-sentence.
- Use lists, ASCII diagrams, images (if allowed), etc to illustrate your point
- Point out every logical fallacy you can find in their argument (e.g. circular logic, naturalistic fallacy). A list of logical fallacies can be found in Wikipedia
- Point out the other person's bad grammar and/or spelling in a condescending manner at the end of your post.
- Use a thesaurus to find big words to use in your sentences, so it looks like you have a larger vocabulary and are therefor more intelligent. BEWARE: Make sure you use proper context! For example, "shack" and "mansion" are synonyms for "house", but obviously have different connotations.
- Cite your sources, preferably in MLA format, at the bottom of your posts. You may also try using Chicago style citations to backup individual statements.
The longer you debate, the more opportunities will become available to you. Try to take advantage of all of these, as it will cause your opponent to RAAAAAAAGE.
- No doubt your opponent will have 'moved the goalposts' (another logical fallacy, note this as well), and as a result there may be contradictions between their posts. Point out these contradictions.
- If they resort to using abstract metaphors, apply these metaphors to something else, so as to make both the metaphor and the argument behind the metaphor seem useless.
- EXAMPLE: "The universe is like a book, and God is like an author" -> "Who's the editor? How do we know that Yehova and the universe are not the book and Thor is the author?"
- Fragment your sentences. A moderate amount. To emphasize an argument or point.
- Use quotes--lots of quotes. Preferably from famous people. Better yet, quote-mine anyone that they quote or cite for something that aids your argument.
Getting yourself out of a pickle
It is inevitable that, eventually, you will say/do something stupid. Here are some things that you should avoid, and ways to avoid them.
- Increasingly long, drawn-out discussions on theoreticals. This becomes especially common when debating theists, as you'll somehow end up arguing about things *within* Christianity/Islam/etc, as opposed to whether or not Christianity/Islam/etc (or whatever religion/philosophy you're debating against) is actually true. In these instances, when in doubt, say "prove it".
- If you find yourself lacking understanding of the subject (or part of the subject), wiki it.
- If you run out of material or can't think, use Google to find other people who have argued on the same subject, and steal their arguments shamelessly. Just make sure they don't contradict anything that you've said.
Now, taking this advice to heart, TROLL! DO IT FGT!
Sites to Troll
Here is a quick list of some of the best places on the internet to troll.
This section includes any site where the main focus is discussion, including imageboards.
This site is full of pseudo-intellectual 18 year old Marxists and Anarchists, who advocate violent revolution and RAAAAAAAAAGE at sexism, and yet spend all their time talking about porn and /b/ in ChitChat, and who work at McDonalds. There are many common ways to troll RevLeft. Given the extraordinarily sectarian nature of the far left, and its historical and theoretical basis in shit nobody cares about, the denizens of RevLeft are very vulnerable to trolling.
- Mention anything about Pol Pot in a positive light. This will actually cause more of a shitstorm than attacking any other leader, since these teenage revolutionaries know that in Pol Pot's regime, every single one of them would be dead. Ex.: "Pol Pot was a hero of communism! He was the only one who actually brought justice to the capitalists!"
- Get involved in the endless debate between Stalinism and Trotskyism. It is easier to assume the side of the Stalinists, as you get to make some incredibly stupid arguments. Stalinists also are more likely to support Pol Pot. Common Stalinist tactics include dismissing all negative claims about Stalin as Nazi propaganda, endlessly use Godwin's Law to justify Stalin's actions, say that there is no proof whatsoever for any person to say that Stalin ever did anything bad ever. When the other side ever disputes any of these claims, call him a fascist and request he be banned. The same works for Mao but it isn't nearly as much fun. An example thread which didn't quite work.
- Apply the same tactic with Anarchists and Leninists. If you intend to take on the anarchist role you'll have to read up the Spanish revolution, wave the bloody flag, and threaten physical violence against all who disagree with you. Say that you're from RAAN (Red & Anarchist Network) and that you're a hardassed motherfucker who don't take no shit. Taking on the role of the Leninists will involve becoming a pussy, but you get to make continuous use of the following buzzwords: counterrevolutionary, reactionary, liberal, bourgeois, and idealist. Say as many of them as you can as fast as you can in any area of the board, preferably while making a thread about the Troubles in Northern Ireland: a guaranteed flamebait.
- Start a thread titled "Kronstadt" and watch the fun unfold.
- Declare yourself one of the following (never in combination or you may be taken seriously): National Anarchist, Posadist, Third Worldist, Anarcho-Capitalist, Forkliftist. (Being or pretending to be a "National" "Anarchist" will get your sorry ass banned faster than you can say boo. Third Worldist's might also be banned post haste depending on the situation.)
- Post anything against Anonymous. The srs revolutionaries of revleft are so sensitive when it comes to /b/tards that if you don't want to fuck moot and aren't full of faggotry yourself, then they'll accuse you of being a religious fundie, Hitler, or both. Bonus points for posing as a gaiafag and accusing /b/tards of being men conducting psyops against furries.
- Also, be sure to ask to see Revleft's super-secret mod and admin forums. With how jealously the guard it for reasons of "security," they must have some good shit like a mountain of CP for the Party Van.
- Pretend to be an old time member who forgot their username and then ask where the Commie Club (you could abbreviate as CC) is. Be sure to extol the virtues of user participation in forum administration. For bonus points say something about democracy and building a revolution online. The admins love that stuff.
- There's a sizable anti-Stalin lobby in revleft; basically take a Stalinist approach to everything and you're assured to piss someone off without getting banned.
- Ask them how they can fight for Islamic rights if they oppress women and are homophobic
Recent drama has lead to new users having their first ten posts be approved. Please don't troll for a least the first few posts. Also should be noted is that new users won't be able to see the Chit Chat forum. But that's OK as posts there don't count towards the post count. Tips to get your ten posts quickly without being banned:
- Find a longish thread, quickly read the first page, and then a page from the middle somewhere. Paraphrase a post from the middle somewhere.
- Start a thread about voting or unions (also a good method of trolling if done correctly, but to be a troll thread it requires a good knowledge of the view points of view).
- Post in the "What are you listening to" thread in the music forum. Also, post a thread about how great Rage Against the Machine is. (Also, good trolling potential is to be had in saying how much you like Immortal Technique, or how much you hate him 'cause of his sexism.)
Note that a degree of subtlety and actual knowledge of how to troll is needed for RevLeft, as butthurt mods have to check all posts before the other faggots can actually see what you have to say. If one letter in your post is slightly away from their agreement, they will block your post and send you a warning.
This is somewhat more difficult to troll than Revleft, as they approve all posts. Forum is full of middle-aged rednecks who got fired from their construction jobs (for being lazier than spics), and so engage in a white-power-circle-jerk while rambling about Jews, the Illuminati, Satanists, Communists, and Jews. For bonus points, sign up for an account on revleft and stormfront, and incite threads where they talk about each other. When done correctly, this ends up becoming an all out shitfest between the two forums, with people on both sides of the divide ridiculing every post in the opposite forum.
Full of people who think they fought a war against the British, their spotty teenage followers and foreign groupies. The forum is maintained by an banana-boat blowin Injun who calls herself Geri Timmons (Seabird), a former 'activist' on behalf of convicted terrorist Leonard Peltier. Timmons was the feature of a 2009 Sunday Times article into the invasions of user privacy by her administration. She is known to gather information on forum participants, when exposed they disabled access to private messages. The forum is notoriously easy to troll as the majority of forum users appear to have missed a step in evolution. Moderation is quite heavy, it is a banable offense to inquire into whether Seabird ever managed to get the sand out of her vagina. The IRIDF appears to be a group dedicated to trolling the forum.
Guide to trolling
- Ask what Irish Republican organisations have done recently in their phony 'war' against the British, this will evoke a storm of replies as keyboard militarists foam at the mouth to declare that the war continues, from the comfort of their bedrooms.
- Ask why private messages are disabled and continue to insist that the facts surrounding it were not fully established.
Full of faggots who discovered the site through 4chan, and who think they are part of some special, unique cultural movement. This makes them much more easy to troll than any other chan. To troll, initiate OS flame wars, stupid attacks against Christians, stupid attacks against atheists, etc. It is also extremely helpful to imitate other members by mocking them or using their user name as you can set the name field to whatever you wish. It may also be valuable to note that SysOP, the website's creator, monitors every post made.
4chan is a site filled with teenagers who found the site through their Myspace account and believe that they are all edgy because of it. To troll, spark up OS warz (coding is srs business), start straw-man attacks on Atheists, and straw-man attacks on Christians. You can use the Tripfag article here to find important individual's (like W.T. Snack's) tripcodes, and set your name to theirs for great justice and epic lulz. The coding on 4chan is ancient, so banning is rare. It is also worthwhile to note that Moot was a fifteen-year-old when he made 4chan, and is therefore underage b&.
Teen support forum created by a teenager, David. It's rapidly grown more and more overrun with trolls, however it remains to have a moderation team created by previous members, and a group of Support Leaders who answer eHelps, or emergency help requests from members on the site with a problem they cannot resolve. Spamming and troll posts are removed soon after posted. Previously Banned Members are rebanned (somebody posted here on the post that I am editing that we have no IP banning--this is not true. The mods can find IP addresses and ban people based on those; I've seen it happen many a time, especially for an incredibly insistent member, Anti Christ, who keeps coming back.) and we generally uphold a level of professionalism while questions are asked. The power distribution is as follows: The Admin, The Oversight Board (randomly chosen to see over moderator actions every week), the Moderation team, the Support Leaders, both Peer, as I described before, and Tech, who help fix up the technicaboutal issues on the site, the members, the warned members, and the banned members at the bottom. LiveWire is a hive of emo, fail, pedophilia, horniness, and stupidity, which makes it ripe for trolling. Some of the best tactics to troll are continuously posting topics saying how weed is evil and pot-smokers deserve to die in the "Drug and Alcohol Abuse" forum, starting shit in the "Teen Pregnancy" forum, calling all the popular members whores/sellouts/faggots/anything that comes to mind, starting a shitstorm in the "Religious" forum, and making rape jokes in the "Teen Sexuality" forum. LOL, just kidding, we're all faggots who need a cock up our anus at all times.
Flat Earth Society
These morons worship a man because he wrote a book that said the earth was flat. A breeding ground for trolls and the like. Bonus points if you can get Tom Bishop to mess up. WARNING: you should not troll FE fom without great skill, as it's currently being trolled and lurked by multiple trolls at all times, the trolls now outnumber actual flat earters, you're going to need something special to set yourself apart.
James Randi Educational Forum
A forum full of "skeptics". If you're tired of arguing against the religious, try trolling the atheists for awhile. Rage very easy to stoke. They hate the religious. Also, you can try out all your best 9/11-Truther arguments for extra lulz.
The Catholic Answers Forums
A terrible place full of radical Christian fundies. Their frequent complaints of abortion, homosexuals and sex in general is both amusing, sad and infuriating. The site is (oddly) fairly free of trolls and they do not perform IP bans. In fact you can make as many new accounts as you wish. It is suggested that you check out the moral theology section just to get a basic idea of what you're dealing with.
A forum full of black women from the Ghetto of New York City. They are quite dedicated to their philosophies on Black Lives Matter. The place is so obsessed with gossip and First World Problems it would be impossible to not get a kick out of successfully trolling it. It is suggested you check out the Religious Debate section, the Jane Doe section (Yes, this is where sandy vaginas discuss relationship dramas and gossip about their exes) and the political sections. Post on how you support Trump, hate BLM and receive a Crapflood of butthurt replies. Bonus points for posting on how Eminem is the best rapper of all time.
The equivalent of deviantART, except for wannabe writers. They care deeply about spelling and grammar, but have yet to master them. Oh the irony. Also, self-publishing is a raw nerve. Lots of site politics. Has the bonus of having an economy based on ("backings"), and whoever has accumulated the most of them at the end of the month gets their manuscript looked at by a publisher. This means they take their highly-flawed backing system very seriously. Has a forum, also a comment section for each book. There is a user messaging system that functions like a public wall. Screenshots are important because users can delete most of their created content. Admins will delete accounts, but don't appear to have the ability to IP ban. The user base consists primarily of NORPs. Trolling it is stupidly addictive, like The Sims, and it's entirely possible that some of these people would drown in their swimming pools if you removed the ladder.
A forum dedicated to discussing and bitching about (but mostly bitching about) the MMORPG EverQuest II. All you have to do is mention that you like the game. No, really.
International Emetophobia Society
A great place for the mean-spirited trolls. A collection of emetophobes who can't stand a picture of someone puking. Just post a few pictures of vomiting there for fun.
Any site filled with 15 year old fags who have 200 'friends', and post themselves half-nude.
Site is child's play. Just call people names, create a fake account to troll others, etc. Very simple to exploit users in any form of trolling. This is also a simpler way to troll a celebrity who has an account.
Like Myspace, this site is fucking childs play. Filled to capacity with camwhores/attention whores, MAN THE HARPOONS size whales, and morons, it is almost too easy to send anyone into a frenzy. It is best to use psyop tactics to turn everyone in the room against the host. Bonus points if the room has over 9000 people in it.
Slightly more mature, and therefore slightly more difficult to troll. Try going into polarized groups (AANR, I bet I can find 1,000,000 Christians, Ultimate Muslim Warriors, etc), and posting inflammatory material. Flame wars over politics and religion start very easily.
Just remember that it is probably a good idea that you use a sock-account aka NOT USING AN ACCOUNT THAT CONTAINS YOUR OWN PERSONAL INFORMATION if you want to start some epic flamewars and protect your personal information from doc-hungry employees. Then again, chances are you are probably a lifeless loser, even for a basement dweller, if you troll Failbook in the first place, so you probably have nothing to lose if people in real life knew how much of puss-infected STD wart you are online. It is not like anyone was going to employe a talentless nobody like you in the first place.
A site filled with angsty, retarded 16 year old camwhores. A breeding ground for trolls. Religion, especially, is bound to create shouting matches in video and comment form, between dozens of idiots.
IRC is inherently filled with drama, paradoxically making trolling both more easy and more difficult.
If OS flamewars are your thing, try joining #linux, #ubuntu, #suse, etc, on efnet, rizon, and any other large irc networks.
Try altrock channels on efnet, where petty arguments over which band is better may arise.
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