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Freedom

From Encyclopedia Dramatica
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9/11 NEVAR FOREGAT !11!1111oneone
Americunts will use their rights to take away yours.
"freedom American style" soviet propaganda poster.jpg

Freedom comes in two forms: Old Freedom and Freedom 2.0, the latter often invoked with the mysterious phrase "9/11 NEVAR FOREGET!!!11." Make sure you don't confuse them. Both are a good justification for violence and other lulz.

Old

This is the type of freedom where basically you get to do what you want unless it directly fucks somebody over, and that person is not someone whom you legally own. This type of freedom is very dangerous and harmful, but luckily you will be exposed to only trace amounts during your lifetime. Through the miracle of progress, the earth has been purged of it, at least in the legal sense. Only libertarians (not to be confused with Liberians) and Europeans talk about it much anymore, which is good because its early supporters like Thomas Jefferson and George Washington were bad men who owned many slaves.

2.0

Freedom is synonymous with America

In this type of freedom- popularized by the USA- you have your choice of which useless job you want, and which useless consumer goods you want to buy. Some crazies say you have other freedoms but that's based on some inscrutable Illuminati bullshit like the Bill of Rights.

The so called bill of "rights" is full of vague, nebulous phrases like "government shall make no law...restricting the freedom of speech." and "the right of the people to keep and bear Arms, shall not be infringed."

Freedom of speech is fine, but what about advocating overthrowing the government? There's no way Patrick Henry or any of those guys would ever want to protect that kind of speech. Except that they explicitly did mention they wanted to protect that kind of speech.

It's a good thing we have men like George W. Bush to interpret that crazy gibberish. Important components of freedom 2.0 include asking "Why do you hate America?" and denouncing terrorism and drugs as much as possible, preferably while supporting and profiting from both as much as possible. Extra points if doing so while waving an American flag (made in China).

History

Both forms of freedom were invented by the United States. But, like everything else in America, it is no longer manufactured there. Although the socialists responsible for maintaining various European welfare states are trying their best, at present, freedom only exists in the United States.

See Also

External Links