Fucked Company

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The Bullshit Story[edit]

Bear Pud with his twink Moot.

Fucked Company was a website created by Philip (Pud) J. Kaplan over 100 years ago as a "dot-com dead pool" which reports dot-com or technological companies having serious or embarrassing problems. The web site also sold rumor listings to subscribers for the bargain barrel price of $75 a month.

The site's name is a parody of Fast Company, a magazine that began covering technology companies during the Internet dot-com boom. The site's logo looked like Fast Company's, too, until they sued Pud's hairy ass and he used his mad web design skillz to come up with something far uglier.

The True FC[edit]

Back when the internets were still cooling and trolls were beginning to emerge from usenet, bbs.fuckedcompany.com became popular because it allowed anon posting and was virtually impossible to get banned from.

There were two types of posters on the board. One was the poster with a registered moniker, who were without exception attention whores and full of failure. The funny gleened from FC was from its unregged posters, many of those simply known as dots. They were so named because the board required some form of user name, so instead of being a faggot reg, you would simply put a dot into the user name field. On the ancient-ass piece of shit version of UBB that Jew Kaplan refused to pay to upgrade, a username ending in a dot and the dot itself couldn't be registered, thereby offering the unimaginative an easy-to-remember unregged name. Over time, dot posting has become the norm.

After a couple of years of reg attention whoring and lulz had on the FC board, the dots grew restive and decided to spread throughout the internets. Thus the dot army was formed.

Some argue that the goons from SA would get FC involved and would occasionally coordinate raids from FC, since they could post anon.

The Raids[edit]

Howard Stern

In 2003, the dot army found out that AIDS had broken out on Howard Stern's message board and realized they had to act quickly to prevent its spread.

They pointed news articles about Howard Stern to such classics as goatse and tubgirl.

"It was a legendary time. Every classic FC troll got thrown out there and swallowed. Holy shit it was beautiful." "The other thing is that Babba Booey and Stuttering John became semi-regulars on FC."

Shortly afterward Stern's message board was taken down and has not returned since.


Christian Chat

Presidents' Day weekend 2002. The dot army attacks the christofags. Some FCer's would simply attack with goatse as they registered, and would promptly be kicked off. Others chose a smoother approach, playing the Christian Chatters for some time. At times FCers would be trolling each other, sometimes knowingly, sometimes unknowingly. As things progressed they would update each other in the FC thread dealing with the progress of the attack. The Christian Chatters followed the FCer's back and whined /threatened to try and make the dots quit. FC, of course, was not moved by their pleas. They attacked until all that was left were the burning embers of Christian Chat. FC had people in action there steadily for 48 hours straight.


Fitness Models

Fitnessmodels2.jpg

Flooding the live sex chat site, infiltrating rooms, and in general harassing both the girls and the other chatters for several days while the site admins kept trying to block the dot army's IP addresses.

Getting a girl to write digtbk (Damn it's good to be king) or a2m on their chest gained special extra prestige.


apologist.co.uk

Circa 2005, some fucktard made the mistake of creating a message board where people could apologize anonymously. Said fucktard also made the mistake of leaving images enabled. Once the dots found out, it was visited by hitler, goatse and pain series. Poor bastards came back over to FC to baaaaaaw about the cruelty FC had inflicted on them. Too bad, their tears tasted like sugar to the dot army, which only made them redouble their efforts. The site was taken down to never return a couple of days later.


Sachem Unspun

Some fucktard calling himself Fearless_Fred started a message board to protest the school district he lived in. The concerned members of the dot army (using the online yearbook) felt the need to warn the parents of the district about the rampant steroid use and teenage pregnancy happening to certain students. Many lulz were had as FC blamed the other faction that was in favor of whateverthefuck the school district was doing. Lulz and butthurt ensued as they all pointed the finger at each other. Fred's site closed within a few weeks of that raid.


FC Gets Taken Over by These| Fucktards.

The Massive Fail of the Stormfront Invasion


The dictionary definition of pyrrhic victory came in November of 2001 when NEWSBUNNY, a Brit wanker with bad teef, managed to steal an admin password on stormfront. FC immediately set about changing the passwords of moderators and banning users. They completely vandalized the board with zionist and black person propaganda. At the time, many lulz were had at the expense of Stormfront, but it would not last.

FC was unmoderated and uncensored while Stormfront was highly moderated and censored. Stormfront also had a larger user base than FC. FC also had a black mod at the time haha.

The counterstrike was brutal and would haunt FC until its death. FC changed from a dotcom/trolling site into an anti black person/ Jew circlejerk overnight. The Beginning of the Raid from the archive

A screen shot from the Stormfront failure.

FCers who've gone to prison[edit]

At least three well-known regs have landed their asses in the big house. One was LakeTahoeExtreme, a Mormon who trolled for women on the internet by lying about himself (see LakeTahoeXtreme lying about himself and trolling for women), and the other was CrackwhoreCEO, real name Ross Rojek, who went to federal pound-me-in-the-ass prison for fraud (see tah fraud). CWCEO was not only a member of the uber-l33t F3 and a moderator, but probably personally suckled pud's nutsack at some point.

Disbarred lawyer fudster spent time in prison for some sort of financial scam and now spends his days dispensing legal advice on FFC that'll get you in the same place if you follow it.

Probably some others too but we didn't know their PI.

Spanky working from the house.

The F3 Debacle[edit]

Pud started a secret forum separate from the unwashed masses of the main board. It was a place where they would call each other by their first names as they stroked each other's cocks and could bask in the glow of their faggotry.

Certain moderators would even feed the faggots of this wankfest information on who was trolling them on the main board.

Conversations on this group grope fest basically centered around voting on who was allowed into the club and the importance of keeping the club secret.

The F3 faggots fucked up by allowing a poster named Spanky into their midst. Spanky was later cast out from the group, causing this 500 pound OCD shut-in to break into F3, by a back way that he learned from a l33t 13 year old poster named Gondaba. Spanky proceeded to archive all their posts and hosted them from a site named yuofag.com.

After months of archiving their posts, Spanky unleashed hell on them by exposing the faggots' private posts to each other. This most awesome event became known as Spankygate.

The regs, being the faggots that they were, became butthurt lolcows. Many of the refags left to form their own secret tree house clubs on other boards. Of course, nothing of value was lost.

The righteous and holy dot army correctly viewed Spanky as a hero and worshiped the fat man. They gloriously hunted and harassed F3 regfags who were stupid enough not to suicide their monikers for years afterward.

Pud dropped the banhammer on Spanky permanently, and even filtered mention of his holy name from the board.

The Dot Pogrom[edit]

Dotocaust.jpg


Pud and the Slur Ban Dot Posting.


The Fall

On May 16 2006, Pud rounded all the dots up and stuffed them into cattle cars. He banned dot posting and required e-mail verification to register. Without the dots, FC lost its edge and user base. It was full of reg fags celebrating the death of the dot army. They took it as their opportunity to become complete fucktards because the dots couldn't say anything back to them. Immediate waves were felt throughout the FC community. The vast majority of dots sought the protection of anon boards. Some caved and became regfags.

In the middle of the Dotocaust, Fucked Fucked Company (FFC) was born. A previously unknown dot (but, long time poster) adopted the name Leprechaun and recreated a board with dot posting allowed, and a trickle of initial users followed. At first, FFC was a place of peace FFC has always been a place of fail. It was born of Pud's fail. They even raided the red board (as Fucked Company had become known). The remnant of the FC did not think of this as a raid. They just thought of it as annoying fucks spamming, "Come over to FFC! We'll let you post anon."

When Pud finally closed down the Red board, its posters were butthurt and scattered throughout the internets. In an event referred to as the "Exodous" or "The Great Jump" "Baaaaaw we might actually have to leave the house", most appeared on FFC, others moved on to ebaums world and other boards.

Leprechaun had decided that the word fucked in the URL, would not allow many people to post from work, so he changed it to Who Failed Today (A fitting name for a site so full of fail.) www.fuckedforum.com.

For the first few months, threads about the death of FC and denial of its permanence dominated conversation, making the original FFCer's sorry they ever bothered to gather the others.

The Successor Boards[edit]

There were many attempts at creating a successor to FC. Camp Idiot, Nice Taco, Without Fuel, Fucked Forum, and of course, Who Failed Today all bobbed up and down in the standings, changing hands many times. Generally, WFT/FFC stayed at the top, with CI in hot pursuit. The others, mired in their own difficulties basically became private chats between a few users, or disappeared entirely.

In February of 2007, Leprechaun sold FFC to an unknown person causing a war break out between Camp Idiot and Who Failed Today. Camp Idiot's admin Heekee decided he wanted to deal with a bunch of racist virgin cunts and the best way to make that happen was to spam FFC, which had been left defenseless without mods.

At first, users would go back and forth, but, as both boards experienced problems with spam, and server issues, some of the lesser boards became necessary places of retreat. Also due to some user conflicts, some avoided one board or another for various reasons. After a year and a half, Who Failed Today finally overcame its server issues (at the hands of a third unidentified owner) and the users slowly trickled back towards it.

Some idiot let the who failed today domain expire and grabbed it or the owner decided to go a different direction with the board. It's gone now.

Fucked Forum was a place of refuge for the FC diaspora, but their hosting company allegedly shut them down for TOS violations. The other theory is that the admin was worried about having his personal information found out.

Spanky (from F3 outing fame) took over Fucked Forum and was wallowing in (his own mind) new found fame. He shut down FF because the dot army trolled Shitpig's (Lori, wife of Spanky) charity and got her fired. The FC diaspora have now, for the most part, migrated to Latest Filings. Some idiot bought latest filings for $500 and moderated it to death, claiming they wanted a "different sort of community. Bawwww. Most recently, a new forum has appeared under the F2BBS name.

F2BBSScrewed Planet, Camp Idiot, and Bad Harvest are where you want to check for the diaspora at the moment, if anyone still gives a shit. Camp Idiot is where you should post if your PI is already out, or of it gets outed on F2BBS.

How To Troll[edit]

  • Start a thread extolling the many contributions of blacks to the culture of America.
  • Tell them that Gen Y is the greatest generation evah!
  • Post that women don't receive enough in a divorce settlement.
  • Start a holocaust thread affirmation thread.
  • Tell them that sushi is inedible shit peasant food. Hell, any food snobbery will do.
  • Always, always, always tell regs you've never heard of them.

See Also[edit]

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