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Since its creation, GameFAQs pronounced "Game Fuck-you" has grown to become the Internets' primary source for console and computer game guides, walkthroughs and cheats, all written by basement dwellers with too much free time on their hands, so that you don't have to figure things out on your own or pay for those guides that sit near the magazine rack in your local Border's.
That's all well and good, but there's no drama in that. However...
The site's infamous message boards(which have been merged with Gamespot) have been described variously as "a hive of scum and villainy", "a haven of pederasty", "simply atrocious", "the best bang since the big one", and, more accurately, "pure shit." The administrators have commented that the name of the site was made by joining the words "Game" (the playee) and "Fags" (the player), however, some error cut the letter "g", which resulted in the current name.
The mods on GameFAQs are one of the primary reasons the message boards are "pure shit" (although the fact that 99.9% of users are weeaboos doesn't exactly help things). Basically, if you so much as make a topic, you're royally fucked. You could post something off-topic, for example, and even though hundreds of other people post off-topic stuff in a day, nothing will happen to them. But the Mods don't care about that: Their policy is "Worry about yourself, not the actions of others." (This is despite the fact that they encourage you to fill out a detailed form to elaborately bitch to the moderators about any little thing.) This policy is perhaps the one accurate facet of the entire site, because if you join GameFAQs, you better watch your ass every second you spend there, lest it succumb to being modded.(Its true, i got banned three times from the site for no reason, one because my username had negeh, the name of an iranian site in it and they thought i was being racist. bunch of bullshit) Oh, and it will. Are you flaming someone because they think the Wii has better graphics than the 360? Posting a question about Super Mario Galaxy on the Super Smash Bros. Brawl board? Complaining about your parents taking away your PS3? Putting your left sock on before the right one? Then you better have that asshole greased and ready for some hardcore modding. If a troll topic starts right next door, however, and gets over
100 9000 posts, the mods won't do shit. This is because the GameFAQs mods are only out for one person, and that is you. Additionally, by posting a joke topic, it's automatic grounds for suspension, banning, tarring, feathering, and hanging by your own entrails, because jokes aren't allowed on the site. The Message Boards are Serious Business for the mods.
You typically lose about 10 to 20 karma when you get modded. That means about a month of work lost in one simple post. You can contest the mods, however. This means that the moderation in question will then be forwarded to another moderator along with an explanation of why that moderation was uncalled for. A fair and balanced discussion of the moderation will occur, and the decision will ultimately be upheld, since GameFags staff members are too fucking proud to admit when they're wrong. They'll even make you lose more karma just for contesting it. Further outcry can be brought to a member of the administration, who will review the appeal, fly to your house, pull down their pants and shit on your face. In most cases, this will occur when trying to type any word that a person over the age of 10 would use regularly, such as "cock sucking dick fucking faggot", which is frowned upon. However, this extreme is even carried onto even more offensive terms, such as "shittake mushrooms" and "Jew". Also, the privacy of minors is held in very high regard, so if a user is caught red-handed admitting to being 5 years old, he or she will be promptly suspended.
Basically, if you so much as blow on another GameFAQs user, they will cry and call the mods on you. When this happens, the mods will come and ram a 7ft steel pole up your ass, and if you so much as let out a squeak they'll ram a 12ft pole up your ass (in addition to the 7ft pole). Either or both poles may also be spiked, superheated, and/or slathered with hot sauce beforehand, depending on how much of a prick the mod in question feels like being that day. At this point, greasing up your asshole is not an option, and thus it is recommended to do so before having even logged onto the site.
It has come to light that the GameFAQs moderation staff enforces a strict policy of anti-Semitism amongst its members, and is currently undertaking a campaign to rid the site of Jewish presence and culture. The very mention of Jewish culture or Jews, or, heaven forbid, admission to being a Jew by a user is grounds for suspension.
Gamefaqs is typically one of the best places to go when you really want to argue with a legion of 13 year old boys about what game is the best evar, whether Goku or Superman would win in a fight, or perhaps about how all Gamefaqs users are "OMG Nerds", while he types his "valid points" from his basement. Also, you will find a horde of basement dwellers who will try to insist that playing 10+ hours of Super Mario RPG in their underwear is a legitimate usage of the energy it took for them to be born, raised, and the natural resources they consumed in their meaningless lives. Finally, there are the people who swear murder based off of petty criticisms of their favorite programming (Of course, they aren't modded for it though. Only you are.). Gamefaqs is also home to weeaboos, Final Faggotry, and Nintendo fan boys. The whole website could essentially be divided into Cloud vs. Link faggots. This is proven every year as Gamefags hosts its annual "Character Battle". It
usually always comes down to Cloud vs. Link with Link being the winner.
Sources say that the creator of GameFAQs, CJayC, is a bit on the heavy side. This is unsurprising given the nature of his job. His "wife", Shadotak, also had (and possibly currently may have) an admin account to the message boards as well. He is also an anti-semite.
People joining GameFAQs are encouraged to immediately begin hero worship for the vets, people who are better than you because they have a bigger epenis than you. Becoming a racist, batshit crazy tool in the process is perfectly normal and is often encouraged.
GameFAQs steals memes and rapes it in the hardest way possible. It is a well-known fact that any meme that GameFAQs uses instantly turns into an Old Meme. Any user who posts something as harmless as cool story bro or oh ok is moderated almost immediately.
Lastly, if you do find yourself posting on these god forsaken boards there's one thing you must nevar evar do. State an opinion. Everyone will disregard the question proposed, and tell you how wrong you are, because only their view of a game is right. You are just too close-minded and ignorant to understand.
The ToU states that a mod decides what is against the rules, and can ruin your shit accordingly. This is why mods enjoy it so much when idiots contest their divine judgment.
Much like finding original content on /b/, one message board( now known as LUElinks) in some minds was the father of /b/. One would say the student overtook the master, but that's only because the mods of GFags eventually decided to shut it down. LUE was a forum dedicated to worshipping LUEshi and the LUE Unholy Trinity. Members would pay tributes by posting one of the members of the unholy trinity (Goatse, Tubgirl and Harlequin Fetus) in a forum, and as such commit what was known as LUEcide, or LUE sepukku.
GameFAQs has degraded itself further in the worst possible way. It is now officially a hive of furfaggotry. A raid may well be needed to keep the peace. BURN IT WITH FIRE FOR THE LULZ. Oh wait, never mind. A plan such as that would basically be a sign saying HEY 13 year old boys! come to 4chan! Another haven for furfaggotry and niggers
Admins of GameFags
- CjayC - The creator and (former) head administrator of GameFAQs. He's worshiped by some users like a god. CjayC's real name is Jeff Veasey. Is a jew living in self hatred, he's gay as well.
- Shadotak - Jeff Veasey's beloved(cough) wife who he met through a Thai dating service. Is a transvestite that makes her living singing as a ladyboy in night clubs in the Dallas, Texas area.
- SBAllen - Formerly Sailor Bacon, current head admin of GameFAQs. His real name is Allen Tyner. Called by some The Baconator, dresses in drag as well. Is a suspected pedophile, is also gay.
- BethanyM - from the merger of GameFAGs with Gamespot. Overweight, ugly, and mocked even by the 13 year old boys at GameFAQs. It's assumed she ate CjayC a few years ago but no one cares about either of them.
How to Become a Moderator (PEDO KGB)
According to some, you might if you're a pedo, as evidenced by the moderator Sashanan, who had a long-term relationship with a girl who was 15 when he was 24. It also helps to not have a life, as the admins like to lower the workload by choosing power-hungry Aspies.
Anyway, it's unlikely that any sane, intelligent person would want to be one, since in order to fulfill the role you must be retarded.
Thinking that just because the intent wasn't there that you can't be modded is a fallacy. - GameFAQs moderator.
Intending solely to annoy and/or offend other posters . GameFAQ's definition of trolling.
Logic, you will not find it among GameFAQ's moderating staff.
So, at a final analysis, the best way to become a mod is to be the biggest fucktard on the internet without technically breaking any rules. THERE ARE NO CONCRETE RULES, LICK ASS AND YOU'LL BE FINE.
- wallywest80, who was kidnapped by his uncle when he was young and was forced to stay in his uncle's house for the duration of his childhood and into his adult life. Is an overweight basement dweller.
- Meowthnum1, who was raped by his father and looks at Pokemon hentai. Pwned by KoS Krew member XThe UnknownX before he became a moderator.
- Sashanan, who likes them underaged and black as well.
- DarthMaul, who had email contact with a 15 year old girl, and would send each other sexually explicit emails. Hacked by BRM, Zappy, and others.
- GValko, who has dick rot and loves Obama. (also pedophile defender)
- KatThePoet, who is a self-admitted pedophile.
- Zhuge Liang, convinced that GameFAQs = Serious Business, has massive boner for KoS Krew member TRC after he raped his mother with a tire iron for the lulz.
- RaptorLC, Convinced he is the second coming of Jeebus, also a hardass asshole.
- Xboxlover2, a man who thinks he is a god on the PS3 Marvel vs. Capcom 3 board. He has a fetish for banning people over saying the words "roster leak"
Admins also hate white people and show no pride in their own race.
Rickrolling on GameFAQs
On April Fool's of 2008, GameFAQs Rickrolled everyone who came to the page with their Poll of the Day. And yet those who do a Rickroll in a thread on the forums are warned by one of the moderators.
The Character Battle
Every year, GameFAQs runs a popularity contest to see who is the most OMG POPULAR CHARACTER EVER. While a large number of characters are selected (even Battletoads and Mudkip have made it onto the roster thanks to their games not being total fail), the final two have been (save for one occasion) Final Fantasy VII's spiky haired, penis-compensating, emo bullshit protagonist Cloud Strife, and Legend of Zelda's green-clothed prettyboy elf Link. Even Anonymous cannot muster enough manpower to overthrow these two and put more worthy characters in their place.
Some time in the past few years, the social justice virus took over the website and the forums are swamped with these parasites. For instance, posts about the typical SJW shit are commonplace, e.g. "Link needs to be black in the next Zelda game" or "We need more female representation in video games."
- Find the Computer Room - Shitty meme spawned on the site.
- LUE - Arguably the precursor to /b/.
- Solid Snake's Ass - Another shit meme.
- A History of GameFAQs
- Modfiles, the worst-kept secret on GameFAQs
- WikiFAQs, the shitty GameFAQs
is part of a series on
the cancer that is killing /b/
7 Proxies ♦ my /b/ face ♦ Caturday Nap ♦ Checking In ♦ Combo ♦ C-C-C-COMBO BREAKER ♦ Drama Prairie Dog ♦ DSFARGEG ♦ Everyone Get In Here ♦ #fortune ♦ Flood Detected ♦ GET ♦ Godly Luck ♦ Hai Guy ♦ I Don't Roll That Way ♦ Naked banana ♦ Name my band ♦ Post ending in (x) gets to name my (x) ♦ Prove Me Wrong ♦ Roll Call ♦ The Game ♦ Trying Too Hard
Forced Memes [+]
( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) ♦ Apples Bear ♦ Ayy Lmao ♦ Balki ♦ Big Dog ♦ Deez Nuts ♦ Dental Plan ♦ Dick Butt ♦ Family Guy Funny Moments ♦ FUCK YEAH SEAKING ♦ HNNNNNNGGGGG ♦ Isn't Dallas in California? ♦ I Took an Arrow in the Knee ♦ Jack Spicer ♦ Lanky Kong ♦ Milhouse ♦ My Little Pony ♦ Nyoro~n ♦ Random Album Art ♦ Rita ♦ So cash ♦ Tape dick ♦ THE BEST ♦ Uncle Dolan ♦ WHEN I WAS ♦ Wew lad ♦ Woll Smoth ♦ X intensifies ♦ You Laugh, You Lose
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