Gang of Four
The Gang of Four is a small group of self-styled "critics" who haunt the amazingly craptastic /ic/ (art critique) board at 4Chan. Intellectually challenged and territorial to the point of psychosis, each member of the Gang lays claim to the board as his personal domain, leading to the inevitable flame wars and bitch-fights endemic to largely unmoderated venues. When not engaging in childish temper tantrums and infantile name-calling, the Gang usually occupies itself with critiquing fan art submitted to the /ic/ board (read: viciously humiliating inexperienced teenagers and anyone else foolish or desperate enough to post their work at 4Chan).
- Cronuts is the enfant terrible of 4Chan. Boasting the drawing skills of an average fourth-grader, Cronuts makes up for his artistic deficiencies by attacking the work of anyone with a higher level of ability than himself, which is almost everybody over the age of ten. A firm believer in the old maxim that it takes a worthless failure to recognize a third-rate loser, Cronuts is notorious for his ongoing feud with his arch-nemesis, Koring.
- Notable for his irrational hatred of all living things, Koring has a minor talent for drawing and a major talent for getting his ass banned from the board on a regular basis. Fortunately, most of his foul-mouthed vitriol is directed against Cronuts, leaving him little time to critique the work of /ic/'s regular contributors. On the other hand, he is the only member of the Gang to possess even a modest artistic ability.
- D.J. Gaijin
- D.J. Gaijin is a pretentious, sneering ignoramus devoid of any redeeming qualities whatsoever. Lacking both artistic and literary skills of any description, Gaijin bolsters his shriveling masculinity by insulting anyone who posts work to "his" board, then scornfully maligns them as primadonnas when they object to his sustained abuse. Permanently banned from DeviantArt for being "a whining, semi-illiterate drama queen," Gaijin eventually latched onto 4Chan's art/critique board, where conceited, egotistical parasites are tolerated as a matter of course.
- Last, and quite possibly least, we have Dark, a drooling, socially-maladjusted shut-in with all the personality of a genital canker. Arrogant and condescending beyond all rational description, this professional bore constantly imposes his appalling drivel on anyone unfortunate enough to frequent /ic/. By far the most prolific poster on the board, he is also the most ignorant of any regular contributor, attempting on one occasion to critique a well-known Da Vinci he mistook for a piece of fan art. Like Gaijin, Dark believes he owns the board and therefore has carte blanch to humiliate anyone without fear of reprisal. Paradoxically, despite all the criticism he dispenses on a daily basis, Dark has been known to run around screaming like a little girl whenever his so-called authority is called into question. Interestingly, although Dark apparently has some negligible draughting ability, he hasn't posted any of his work to the board for months.
Trolling the Gang of Four
Constantly at each other's throats, the Gang of Four is highly susceptible to trolling on a group basis. You don’t even need to mention anyone by name; somehow, they always know who you’re talking about and rarely defend one another (mostly because they loath each other with a hatred that could melt lead). The following methods are particularly effective in provoking temper tantrums:
- Referring to them in the third person, as in: “Just ignore the negative comments. The critics on this board have severe mental problems, as you’ve no doubt already realized.”
- Apologizing to their victims: “On behalf of every decent person on this board I’d like to apologize for the shocking abuse you’ve received from these self-worshiping losers.” This one always drives them screaming batshit insane for some reason.
- Questioning their artistic skills: “I guess this just proves you don’t have to be a great artist to recognize a poor one.”
- Question their critical skills: “You should apply for a job on the Washington Post – oh, sorry, I forgot. You’re not an arts journalist. Well, maybe you could take a job at NYU’s Arts Faculty. No – can’t do that either, you’re not a lecturer. OK, there’s always your local high school, isn’t there? Oh, that’s right, you’re not an art teacher. Good thing you still have 4Chan – no, sorry, that’s no good either – you’re a FUCKING PRAT!!”
The other Gang of Four:
A less faggy and more kickass "gang of four" can be found in the epic movie RIKI-OH.
The other other other Gang of Four:
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Gang of Four is part of a series on
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