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The bro himself.

A sort of popular meme on 4chan /b/. His main purpose is to tenderly love all the women who stand in his way, his secondary purpose was to counter desu, as he is the essence of manliness.

The Man, the Legend, Gaston[edit]

Made entirely of Titanium, steel, diamond, and covered in hair, his only goal in life is to have sex with as many women as possible, his current record being 6 (Suiseiseki, Souseiseki, Suigintou, Kanaria, Shinku, Hinaichigo - he is apparently a dollfag). His other life mission is to kill furries like the Beast. He is champion of everything, because Noone can (insert verb here) like Gaston.

Gaston shows Belle the meaning of life.

Last Thursday, a challenger appeared to counter Gaston's title as the essence of manliness. Yuri Kerane, along with his rape-toy Ghinius, declared himself to be more manly than Gaston. It is yet unknown who the victor is. Not to mention his rival Clayton, a forced meme born from the depths of 7chan. Some argue this is Speedycat's doing.

Gaston was originally in the Disney film Beauty and the Beast. Though the film shows Gaston getting pwned, the original ending was that he not only made the Beast into a nice rug, but then proceeded to stick it in Belle's pooper before ordering her to make him a sandwich. The rest is history.

The Gaston Medleys[edit]

Gaston at his finest.
Gaston better equipped for lulz.
A song about a rumor concerning Gaston.
You decide which parts are true.

Gaston Video and Modified Lyrics[edit]

Play this tune with these modified lyrics every time you're feeling the anti-lulz is killing the internet hate machine.

Gosh it disturbs me to see you, Anon

looking so down in the dumps.

Everyone here'd love to be you Anon
even when taking your lumps.
There's no man online as admired as you
you're everyone's favorite troll.
Everyone's awed and inspired by you
you racist, sociopath asshole. like Anon
no one boasts like Anon
No one shows little kids goatse quite like Anon.
For there's no man online half as manly
perfect, a man free of fail
you can ask any Doug, Snacks or Zimmer
and they'll tell you who posts girls worth a trip to jail. like Anon
No one blames like Anon
No one's got ROMs of pirated games like Anon
Anonymous: "To your 12 year old niece I'm INDIIIIMIDATING"
My what a guy that Anon!

Give five "Fuck you!"s
Give twelve internets
Anon is the best
and the rest
fake their GETs. like Anon
Hates those Japs like Anon
No one posts his collection of traps like Anon.

Girls: For there's no one as mean and abusive.
Anonymous: Hey you cunts, Tits or GTFO.

Whether massive or scraggly and scrawny.
Anonymous: "I've got millions of images I want to show".

No one's met an Anon
makes us wet like Anon
No one's openly gay for Bridget like Anon.
Anonymous: "I'm especially good at hidiiiing my lolis".
OHSHI- Partyvan for Anon!

Anonymous: "When I was a lad I saved porn every day, and I watched my collection grow large.
But then I found /b/ and the others just like me
so it's roughly the size of a baaaaarge". like Anon
matches wits like Anon
No one pays Gaia camwhores for tits like Anon.
Man what a con Anon

Anonymous: /v/irgin I'm afraid I've been thinking
A sumptuous camwhore?
Anonymous: NO U
But that crazy /k/omrade is her father
And is rifles are nothing but slow
But the wheels in my head have been turning
Since I looked at that paranoid fag
See I'd promised myself I'd be fucking that Belle
And right now I'm evolving a plaaaan

No One... plots like Anon
Takes Cheap Shots like Anon
And persecutes scientologists like Anon
When He's fucking that whore, we'll be ceeelebrating
Man what a Con



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Frequently Asked Questions[edit]

Q: So I heard that no ones dick is as incredibility thick as Gaston's, any comments?

See also[edit]

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