Gemma Anscomb

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The butthurt parents.
The dog tried to become an hero by overdosing on drugs. Unfortunately, it survived.

Gemma Anscomb is a fucktarded 16-year-old girl from a shithole in Middle England who became famous after advertising that her parents' home was free for a party using Bebo, and like Corey Delaney, caused major lulz because people who realized how exploitable this party girl was came to the house and trashed it.

Among the lulzworthy things that happened were group secks in an 8-year-old's bedroom (seriously, that's true - you couldn't make this shit up if you tried, could you?), drug taking and attempts to sacrifice a dog. These black person beasts were compared to animals by the butthurt parents who contemplated becoming an heroes over their total incompetence at raising their naive little daughter slut, who is now in hiding after passing out drunk at the epic party which went on into the early hours without her knowledge as she lay unconscious.

This was reported in the media, and fucktards at the Daily Mail starting BAWWWWWing over the state of Modern Britain and what this event says about society.


   
 
I just can't believe that people could behave so badly, selfishly and wickedly. Disgusting behaviour in full view of others. What does this say about our society? The poor parents! We used to babysit when we were this age. Sounds like the teenagers and young adults need babysitting. I wouldn't like to leave my children with a teenage babysitter these days! Goodness knows what we could come home to.
 

 
 

Plot Synopsis[edit]

Some ED users could drink this much and then be able to write a featured article on Wikipedia from scratch.
Julia and Robert Anscomb's house had graffiti scrawled on the walls and totally wrecked rooms

Gemma seemed like a nice little girl to her middle-class parents. She got good grades in school, and because good grades in school are obviously an indicator of intelligence maturity anything generally this family thought that by going away to celebrate her father's birthday by watching the Monty Python musical Spamalot, it would be OK to leave her in control of the house, because she's mature and streetwise enough, right? Wrong.

Clearly, she's not very internets-wise. Did she not hear the story of Corey a couple of months beforehand? Anyway, she was dumb enough to put her irl home address onto Bebo, and to ask people she didn't know to come there for a party. She later paid the price, and it severed the relationship that Gemma and her mother had. Latest reports suggest that Gemma is still in hiding.

Basically, the parents came home to find a trashed house, with £25,000 pounds' worth of damage to household furniture, kitchen equipment and the carpets were soaked with shit, blood and cum. But that was only the tip of the iceberg.


   
 
Pointing to her own kingsize bed in the master bedroom, she declared: "There were six people in there having sex at one time. We feel totally violated."
"We feel totally violated."

Elsewhere in the Anscombs' smart "newly decorated" semi in Worthing were traces of cocaine, marijuana - and enough empty vodka and rum bottles to fill a recycling plant.

Two laptops were also stolen, along with an iPod, expensive jewelery and a passport. Oh yes, and 57 calls were made using the house phone.
 


 
 

—What Julia Anscomb had to say about it.

Anyway, using her extensive whoring techniques on Bebo, Gemma managed to lure at least 100 people to the party, and showed no remorse afterwords because she wasn't really conscious to experience the party, because she passed out drunk really fucking early.

Apparently, some older teens, some as old as 25, turned up at this party, from as far away as the other side of England! Things got wild, and the police were called by haggardly old neighbors who couldn't sleep, but they were too fucking dumb to realize what was going on and let the party continue.


   
 
"There were males just wandering around in their boxer shorts or completely naked," said one young man who gatecrashed the party after finding out about it through word of mouth on the day.

"I saw a couple having sex on the washing machine and there were five or six girls and lads rolling around in the double bed upstairs. It was like watching a porn movie.

"This wasn't just teenagers. There were people in their 20s as well. Most of them didn't even know whose house it was. I didn't stay long, but I was there long enough to see what was going on."

Another gatecrasher, Sean O'Brien, a 25-year-old plumber, found out about the party on the internet. He arrived at 7pm and stayed until 7am.

"I saw one man have sex with three women on the washing machine. At about 2am, I went into one of the bedrooms and saw two boys have sex. Everything was going on."

When asked if he took part, he replied: "We all got involved."
 


 
 

After that, Gemma Anscomb awoke from her slumber, and got a reality check, and realized her failure as a human being which will continue to haunt 'er for years. Fred Phelps has condemned Gemma Anscomb to hell for hosting a party which featured such utter faggotry and epic fail as two guys having sex with each other. I mean, come on, srsly, they're supposed to do that shit at their own discretion, or at least in teh gay bathhouse.

Conclusion[edit]

In conclusion, what we know is that people who take the Daily Mail as anything other than a trashy tabloid are over 9000 times more harmful to society and the wider world than the people who write articles on ED are, and if you fail to believe this, you are fucking retarded beyond all belief and probably think that human rights abuses at Guantanamo Bay are justifiable because they happen outside of Middle England and the US, as the eternal ally, could only ever do no harm. PREACHY POLITICAL WHINING IN MY ED? It's more likely than you think.

She could also benefit from learning from a nice, intelligent young man of the same age - one who is more worldly than she is - who might be able to help her pick up the pieces of the broken mess. DISREGARD THAT I SUCK COCKS!

Links[edit]


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Featured article April 27, 2008
Preceded by
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Gemma Anscomb Succeeded by
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